


Small Town

by tasu7



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Eventual Smut, I don't know how to make tags, Kylo facing his past, Mechanic!Rey, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, Starts out PG, background stormpilot, lots of fluff too, small town, the smut has arrived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 57,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasu7/pseuds/tasu7
Summary: When Kylo moves back to his home town to help his grieving mother, he meets Rey, a stunning young woman who leaves him breathless. Rey, who is trying desperately to leave the small town and start a new life, is immediately drawn to Kylo. Neither wants to be tied to the town, but neither can bring themselves to leave.[Rating is for eventual smut].





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic I've ever written. In fact, it's the first anything I've ever written! Please be gentle. I'd love feedback!  
> This is a short chapter- but I've already written a few, so they will be coming shortly!

Kylo pulled up in the driveway, letting one last sigh escape his mouth before throwing the car in park and letting his hands rub his face and run through his long hair. 

“Ben! Get in here! I’ve got dinner on the table and it’s getting cold!” shouted Leia, leaning out of the doorway as much as she could without letting the quickly chilling night air get into the house.

“Coming… and it’s Kylo!” he yelled back through his open car window. He quickly grabbed his bags out of the trunk and trudged up the front steps, wondering how life had led him to moving back in with his mother at 28. He knew why, of course. When Han passed, his mother had put on a front of fierce pride and independence, insisting that she didn’t need any of the help that all of her neighbors and friends were offering. But when Kylo called her every night after work after returning back to Chicago after Han’s funeral, he always was concerned by the change in her voice. She used to make dirty jokes and laugh loudly at herself. She used to pester Kylo for every detail of his life whenever he called. Now, she sounded more resigned. She sounded tired. She didn’t joke anymore, and barely chuckled when he tried to take over the joke end of their conversations.

It wasn’t until his mom’s friend Maz had called him when he realized just how bad things had gotten for her. 

“She’s so skinny, she doesn’t eat anymore,” she had said, “and the house is a mess. And you know that’s a bad sign- she’s always kept things as clean as a whistle since her military days.” 

Kylo felt a lump growing in his throat as Maz described all of the ways Leia’s grief and loss of direction had made themselves apparent.

“I would offer to have her move out here to the farm, but Chewie is still battling prostate cancer, and I’ve got my hands full with the animals. I know she would refuse anyway- too proud. But she definitely needs help, Ben.” 

Kylo had looked around his Chicago highrise apartment, decked out with the latest technologies and stylish furniture. He actually liked his bachelor pad- he had finally found a city where he could find people to talk to when needed, but where it was also easy to be a loner, which he was. Back in his hometown, everyone new everybody. It was impossible to take a walk without being bothered, impossible to exist as an anonymous citizen. But as he glanced around, everything about his chic apartment spread guilt down his entire body when he thought of Leia sitting alone on the old couch in the living room, crying well into the night.  
“All right Maz, I’m moving back home.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Rey had just finished up for the day when Finn came bounding into the shop. 

“Rey! You’ll never guess what happened today!” he hurriedly exclaimed.

“You finally figured out that the reason Mrs. Andor keeps coming in with broken tail lights is because she’s been backing into the wrought iron fence in her front yard and probably is too old to be driving anyway?”

“No- that’s what YOU learned, babe. Very funny. But really- the most incredible thing happened today,” he said with an ear-to-ear smile.

“Well don’t leave me hanging!” 

“So this guy has been transferred to our plant to serve as an interim regional director for at least a few months, and he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. Fresh meat in this small town? This doesn’t happen!”

“Is he gay?” Rey inquired.

“I mean my gaydar was going off like crazy, but I will have to do some investigative work to confirm.”

“Alright, Sherlock. I hope you’re right, you deserve a hot catch.”

“Thanks. How was your day? Are you hungry?”

“Do you even have to ask?” laughed Rey. “But I really need to shower and change first. Mr. Cadden’s ‘78 Stingray leaks oil like Plutt leaks sweat.”

“Ew, I didn’t need that visual,” Finn grimaced. 

“Sorry… can you toss me that rag?” she asked, motioning to the only mildly clean rag left at the workbench.

Finn threw the rag toward her. She caught it with a flourish and used it to wipe as much sweat and grime off her face as she could, before rubbing her hands on it. She looked down at her once white shirt, which was now permanently a greyish-brown color, with splotches of various oils and solvents making it look like a tie-dye project gone wrong. She needed some new shirts. And maybe some shorts. Winter had passed, and they were partially through spring. It was still very chilly in the mornings and at night in Maine, but it was starting to heat up during the day, and the garage still got quite warm despite the open walls.

“I’ll be down in 10 minutes!” she shouted as she ran up the stairs to her loft above the auto mechanic shop.

As Rey disappeared, Finn grabbed a water bottle from the shop fridge. He took a few gulps and was wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve when he heard a deep voice speak from behind him.

“Hi- are you still open?”


	2. Convergence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kylo moves back to his home town to help his grieving mother, he meets Rey, a stunning young woman who leaves him breathless. Rey, who is trying desperately to leave the small town and start a new life, is immediately drawn to Kylo. Neither wants to be tied to the town, but neither can bring themselves to leave.  
> [Rating is for eventual smut].
> 
> Chapter 2: Kylo and Rey's paths converge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and comments! I was pretty nervous writing and posting my first fic, but I'm really enjoying it so far!  
> and don't worry, things will start heating up between our fave pair soon ;)

“You need a haircut,” Leia said with a frown as she started serving Kylo salad on his dinner plate. “And I told you, you really don’t have to move back here. I’m glad that you have finally come to visit, but I can take care of myself.”

“I can serve myself food, Mom. And I know you can, but you’re the only parent I have left, and I want to be with you.”

“Did Maz put you up to this? You know she has a flair for the dramatic- I’m fine!” she insisted as she took her seat and started forking roast beef onto her plate. Kylo hoped that she would feel obligated to eat dinner with him every night. Maz was right- she looked like she hadn’t eaten since Kylo had left after the funeral.

“No, she didn’t. I’ve been thinking about coming back for a while...” Kylo lied, “and I feel like….. like I have some time to make up for” he added truthfully.

“Oh” Leia whispered, suddenly stopping serving herself. She looked Kylo in the eyes with earnest, as if just realizing something. “Honey, your father never blamed you for the way things were left between you. He just didn’t know how to make things right.”

“That makes two of us,” grumbled Kylo. His jaw tensed, as feelings of anger quickly arose. The anger at his father was normal, but he had recently noticed more anger at himself for walking out on his parents.

Leia placed a hand over his that was clenching his fork. “Ben, I’d like to leave all of that behind us. Really.” she said with a sad, small smile. She released his hand, grabbing her own fork to scoop up some salad. “How about you stay for a few days? I’ll show you that I’m fine. I know how much you hate it here- I would never ask you to stay permanently.”

Kylo didn’t even bother correcting her on his name. “Yeah, I can do that. The firm is letting me work remotely. I’ll just need to get the wifi here upgraded, it’s as slow as Mr. Andor when he’s ordering in front of you at the sandwich shop.”

Leia let a small smile slip, struggling to keep a laugh back while munching on her salad. “Hey now, Mr. Andor’s been through a lot in his life- cut him some slack. But yes, the wifi is slow. You should call up Rey. She works at the auto shop. She’s good with all sorts of machines and computers- she set up Maz and Chewie’s wifi last year.”

“Rey?” Kylo asked. “I don’t recognize that name, since when does this town get new people?”

“She moved here about 6 years ago. She was in the foster care system downstate and Unkar Plutt brought her up here and fostered her as a teenager. I don’t know why she never ran away from that creep. I tried to talk to ask her about it a few times. She’s sweet and will talk your ear off about cars, but would never answer any of my questions about how Plutt was treating her. Anyway, when she turned 18 she moved out of his house and into the loft above his auto shop. She is still working there. I don’t think Plutt works at all any more, just takes her profits. Poor girl. She must be 20 by now.”

“Ok, yeah. I’ll head down there tomorrow to see if I can hire her to upgrade some of the tech around here” Kylo responded. “I’m gonna run some errands downstate first though. Need some stuff I left in Chicago. I’ll also grab some groceries.”

“Thanks honey, I’ve got some meetings tomorrow. Things have been piling up at the office since I’ve been gone.”

Kylo had always wondered why his mother, a decorated military officer, had settled in a small town and got a job in local government when she could have had any job in the country, and had even been offered several federal positions.

“Your father and I have had enough excitement to last a lifetime” she always claimed, though Kylo could never think of anyone less exciting than his parents. They got up in the mornings, drank coffee on the porch, went to work, and occasionally invited friends over for cards in the evenings. 

“It took a long time and your mother for me to realize that running around didn’t really make me happy” his father had said.

“No problem” Kylo responded. Secretly, he was looking forward to driving around the country roads. He had forgotten how nice the fresh air was after living in big cities for so long. However, he was not looking forward to every citizen of the town harassing him. He had had enough of that at the funeral. ‘Ben, you’ve grown so tall!’ ‘How come you haven’t visited?’ ‘You should really make peace with your mother.’ ‘Looks like the city has gotten to your head!’ ‘Your father was devastated when you left’. The comments about his father angered him the most. They didn’t know anything about his relationship with him. Maybe he would save the errands he could do in town tomorrow for the evening, hoping to avoid as many encounters as he could.

Kylo and Leia finished the rest of the dinner quietly, cleaned up, and went to bed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey hopped out of the shower, which never really got quite warm enough. She wrapped a towel around her hair and headed to the sink to do yet another scrub on her hands. No matter how many times she scrubbed them, they always remained stained- oil was buried deep into cracks on her fingers and under her fingernails. She glanced at herself in the mirror. 

“Just another year” she whispered to herself. She had been saving up to leave the small town and head to university for two years already. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to study, but she knew for sure that she wanted to leave the small town and learn as much as she could. But after some of her most recent discussions with Plutt and Finn, she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to leave even if she did save enough money. She knew she was grasping at straws when she dreamed about packing her bags and heading out, but it was the only thing that was keeping her going.

She threw on another perpetually stained, but clean, shirt and some jeans, and yanked the towel off of her head. She quickly assembled her customary three buns down her head and hopped toward her door, shoving on her Converses she reserved for when she wasn’t working. She always felt her worst and most poor as a child when she showed up somewhere with dirty shoes with holes in the toes. When she first started working for Plutt when he started fostering her at 14, the first thing she bought was a new pair of shoes. They were cheap tennis shoes, but she cleaned them every night, and patched any holes that showed up with immense care. She thought that maybe, just maybe, the kids at school wouldn’t stare at her as much if she had on clean shoes like them.

She locked the loft door behind her and started thundering down the stairs. “Finn- I hope you’re ready to massage my belly later!” she yelled. “I’m about to ingest an ungodly amount of wings!”

She came to a halt on the last step when she saw that Finn wasn’t alone.

“Hey Rey- this is Kylo. He’s looking for you” he said.


	3. A Strange Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey finally meet, and things are awkward.

After spending the day running errands, Kylo finally made his way to the town’s only auto shop. He sincerely hoped that Mr. Plutt wasn’t there- that guy always got his blood boiling. From what he could remember, he was lazy and greedy, and was always finding ways to cheat the town’s residents out of their very limited cash. He hoped to deal only with Rey, who his mother said was good with tech. He was surprised to hear that a 20-year old like herself was still hanging around… he wondered why she had stayed after being fostered by Plutt- that could not have been a positive experience.

When he walked in the shop, there was only one person present, someone he didn’t recognize. Two new young people in this town? Definitely odd. He approached the young black man, who had his back turned and was sipping from a water bottle.

“Hi- are you still open?” he asked.

The young man whipped around, surprised at hearing someone entering the shop, everyone in town knew that the shop closed at 5pm. Finn didn’t recognize the man, he was way too tall and distinct-looking to be from around here… maybe his car had broken down as he was passing through.

“Sorry man, the shop closed at 5. I don’t actually work here… Rey, the mechanic, is upstairs. She should be down soon, but she probably won’t be able to get to your car until tomorrow.”

“Actually I am looking to hire Rey for some tech work.” Kylo responded.

“Oh, ok. Are you from around here? I’m sorry, I don’t recognize you.”

Kylo despised small talk. And he didn’t want to get to know anyone in town, he didn’t belong here anymore. “I just moved back into town. It’s been a while. Taking care of my mother for a bit” he said with a clipped tone.

“Oh, who’s your mother?” Finn asked.

Kylo paused, not wanting to get into a whole discussion about his parents. Everyone knew them, and they all loved them, especially Han. ‘Leia Organa” he mumbled, purposefully leaving off the ‘-Solo’.

Finn’s eyes widened, “Oh, so you’re Ben Solo.”

“No- it’s Kylo Ren” he snapped back, not able to stop his eyes from rolling. He didn’t elaborate, and his tone effectively silenced Finn.

After a moment of awkward silence, Kylo heard feet thundering down the stairs of the shop, and a clear voice with a British accent yell “Finn- I hope you’re ready to massage my belly later, I’m about to ingest an ungodly amount of wings!”

The girl came to a halt on the bottom step. From the embarrassed look on her face, Kylo could tell that she clearly was not expecting anyone else to be in the shop. He and the girl, presumably Rey, stared at one another for a moment. He was not expecting Rey to be beautiful, and certainly not British. Just from first glance, everything about her intrigued him. She was well-muscled but slim, tan, freckled, and had her hair back in three buns down the length of her skull. She was totally out of place in this town, which was full of old, stuffy white people. Her embarrassed expression very quickly turned to one of wonder, though Kylo wasn’t sure why. He supposed he also looked out of place in this town. He knew he wasn’t very handsome, so that couldn’t be it. Perhaps she too was wondering why he was here. 

Finn was the first to speak, thankfully breaking the awkward silence. “Hey Rey- this is Kylo. He’s looking for you” he said.

The girl quickly glanced at Finn, as if looking for help. She quickly composed herself and descended the last step and crossed the floor of the shop.

“Hi Kylo, I’m Rey. What can I do for you?” she asked, extending a hand.

When Kylo took her hand to shake it, he couldn’t help but wish he could slow down time and feel every texture of her hand. It fit perfectly in his, and he couldn’t have been the only one to feel it. Although her hands were calloused and stained, Kylo didn’t want to let go.

“I… uh….I’m looking to hire you for some tech work at my mother’s house.” he stammered, nearly forgetting to let go of her hand.

Rey spared a glance at her hand, probably weirded out that he had held it a second too long. She looked up and into his eyes. He was instantly mesmerized by her hazel irises with specks of green running through them. Although she was probably just looking at him to be polite, the intensity of her gaze made it feel like all of her focus was on him.

“Oh… do you live here in town? I don’t think I’ve seen you before...” she responded, her voice suddenly softer and less confident than before.

“His mom is Leia.” Finn interjected. He glanced at Kylo, then looked down sheepishly.

Kylo threw a cold look toward Finn, then turned back to Rey. “Leia needs her wifi upgraded, and I’m sure I can find some other work for you too.”

“Yeah, that should be no problem” she said, seeming to regather her wits. “I’m sorry to hear about your dad, by the way. I didn’t really know him very well. He fixed his own cars. And I had to work during his funeral, unfortunately…” Kylo could tell that she regretted bringing up the topic as she watched his expression turn sour.. “Sorry… anyway, I have a long day in the shop tomorrow and Friday but I can come by on Saturday if that works for you…”

“Yes, that’s fine.” Kylo responded, thankful that she had dropped the Han topic. He could listen to her voice forever, but he did not want to speak about Han.

“Have you eaten dinner? Would you like to go out with me and Finn?” Rey asked. Finn shot her a dark look, one that did not escape Kylo’s notice.

So his name was Finn. Were he and Rey together? It would make sense- some of the only young people in town, going out to dinner, her mentioning that he would have to massage her belly…

“No thanks” he said forcefully. “I don’t want to interfere with your plans.” As much as he wanted to get to know Rey, he also didn’t want to immerse himself in this town any more than he had to. And he especially didn’t want to third wheel on a date. He couldn’t even imagine that she actually wanted to offer, she was probably just being polite.

Kylo couldn’t look away when she bent over the front desk to grab something. Her jeans were not doing Kylo any favors. 

“All right,” she said, handing him a business card, “here’s a card with the number for the shop. Let me know if your plans for Saturday change. Otherwise I will see you then.” 

“Right,” Kylo responded. “Well… goodbye.” Damn was he awkward. Before he had to undergo any further staring or awkward silences, he turned on his heel and practically ran out of the shop, hopped in his car, and drove away.

“Ok… what the fuck just happened?” Finn asked as Kylo’s car sped down the road.


	4. Thinking of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey can't keep their minds off of one another after their meeting... We also get more backstory on Rey, Kylo, and even Finn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, at the pace I'm going, this is going to be a longer fic than intended. Slow burn. Hope you are enjoying! As I've mentioned before, this is the first thing I've ever written and I'm having a blast! Thanks for all of the nice comments.
> 
> **Spot the Chewie allusion** =]

“Ok… what the fuck just happened?” Finn asked as Kylo’s car sped down the road.

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, eyebrows raised.

“Did you just entirely miss the fact that a giant handsome man just wandered into your shop? And he was clearly ogling you.” Finn exclaimed, pointing in the direction Kylo’s car had gone.

“You think every guy is handsome” Rey laughed. “And he was NOT ogling me.”

“That man looks like a fucking high-fashion model, Rey.” Finn said as he wrote his name on his half-finished water bottle with Sharpie and threw it back into the fridge. “But he’s kind of a dick. Why did he say his name was Kylo? He’s definitely Ben Solo, Leia and Han’s kid.”

“Beats me,” Rey said, “maybe he had a new start in life.” She could definitely relate. She needed a new start very badly.

“Whatever. He seems pretty shady to me. He said he was back in town to take care of Leia, but he seems pretty pissed about it.”

Rey couldn’t deny that Kylo wasn’t the friendliest person in the world. His eyes had a dark gleam to them, she could practically see the anger and pain through his trained expression. And when she had brought up Han, he looked like he was about to rip his own arms off. She was actually pretty intimidated by him, which was weird. Rey was never scared of anyone, including Plutt. She actually liked a bit of danger. And there was something about Kylo that was very dangerous- something ready to explode at any moment.

“And you just had to invite him to dinner, didn’t you? Are you really that much of a saint? Or do you secretly agree and think he’s handsome?” Finn asked with a suggestive waggle of the eyebrows and a coy smile.

“I- I was just being polite.” Rey quickly responded, turning around and busying herself with closing the garage doors to try to hide any potential blush that might appear on her face. But Finn knew his best friend too well.

“Oh my god! You like him!”

“I do not! We interacted for like 10 seconds!” Rey shrieked.

“Whatever, babe. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Tall, dark, and handsome. It’s classic!” Finn laughed. “Let’s head out. I’m starving and I need to tell you about Poe.”

“Who?”

“The new guy at the plant I was telling you about! Did Kylo really distract you that much?”

“Oh, right! Of course. Let’s go!” Rey said as she locked the door behind them and headed to Finn’s car. Kylo certainly was tall, dark, and handsome. His long, dark hair was stuck in her mind. She wouldn’t mind running her hands through it.

Not that she had a lot of experience with running her hands through guys’ hair. When she moved to the town at 14, none of the kids were willing to accept a newcomer into their friend groups. Especially a foster kid. Eventually they stopped bullying her as they grew up, and some were even mildly friendly to her. She occasionally got pity invites to the bonfires they had out behind Snap’s parents’ ranch. She’d made out with a few guys after drinking a bit too much malt liquor, but nothing ever amounted from it. The only real friend she made was Jessica Pava. Rey was devastated when she went off to university after graduation. Rey spent weeks moping about the shop and even shedding a few tears at night while trying to fall asleep. She had felt completely alone again.

Thankfully, Finn had moved into town about a month later. Rey met him when he had brought his new car into the auto shop.

“I bought it used downstate, I just arrived in town yesterday. It could probably use an oil change and a tune-up.” he had said. 

Rey, not normally one to go out onto a limb to get to know people, had immediately offered to show him around the small town, not that it needed a tour guide. He accepted. She found out he had accepted an offer to be a managing engineer at the textile plant, the town’s main source of income. 

“I needed a change.” he had said when Rey asked why he would ever move to a place like this.

It wasn’t until a year later that Finn had told her why he had really moved to the town.

“Rey, I’m telling you this because I trust you immensely. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and it’s killing me that you don’t know. I got out of a pretty sticky situation back in New York. The company I worked for did a lot of sketchy shit… and before I could get out I was pretty wrapped up in it all. I had to testify against the company and everything… and they started threatening me. I’m in the lowest level of Witness Protection, in case the courts ever need to call me in again to testify.”

Rey’s jaw had dropped. “Woah… you’re like a spy!”

Finn, who had been completely somber a second ago, let out a giant belly laugh. “I wish! That would be so much cooler! I honestly thought I would hate living here, but you have made it bearable… just please promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“Of course I won’t! There’s no one I would tell anyway. You’re pretty much my whole social circle at this point.”

“Thanks, Rey. Wow, I didn’t know I would feel so relieved after telling you!”

“I’m glad!” Rey had responded. “Wait a minute… is your name really even Finn?” she asked with a panic.

“No...” Finn had said, embarrassed. “Sorry about that. It’s part of the protection plan. But trust me, I like Finn a lot better than my old name. I feel more like Finn than anyone else.”

“Alright then.” Rey had said, grabbing his hands with a smile. “Finn it is then.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo couldn’t sleep that night. He had always had trouble falling asleep, even as a kid. It seemed like the voices of doubt and loneliness that plagued him during the day just got louder at night. But tonight, it wasn’t just those voices that were keeping him awake. As he lay in bed, he kept reliving his interaction with Rey and Finn. Was it as awkward as he remembers? Had he been rude? Why did he care? He certainly didn’t usually didn’t try to be nice to strangers. 

He didn’t want Rey to be a stranger, though. Kylo couldn’t deny that she was attractive. As he had driven away from the shop, he had noticed that his temperature was running quite a bit warmer than normal. And it wasn’t just that she was pretty. She was the kind of beautiful that kept you from looking away, and made you feel like basking in her presence for as long as you could. Kylo was starting to get aroused just thinking about her.

What was wrong with him? He felt like a teenager whose hormones were out of control. It’s not like he never encountered attractive women… women in Chicago tended to throw themselves at him, although that was probably just because they could tell he was wealthy. He wasn’t much for dating around though. He had been too focused in university and law school to pay much attention to women, and he never really felt connected to anyone anyway. Most of the time, he still felt very alone even in crowded rooms or bars, and even when he was having sex he felt quite empty besides the unsentimental relief of pent up physical urges.

Kylo twisted and turned a few times, trying to get comfortable. It was hard when all he could think about was how soft Rey’s skinned had looked, how her voice had instantly cut through him, and her gaze had melted him. Maybe it was just because she was one of the only young women in the town. That had to be it. Maybe his evolutionary traits were just taking over, telling him to pounce on any woman he saw. He could certainly control that. There was no need to make anyone uncomfortable or embarrass himself. On Saturday, he would act completely normal. Well, maybe a bit more polite than normal. He didn’t want to reflect badly on Leia.

He threw a pillow over his face and groaned. Why was this girl distracting him so much?


	5. Run-Ins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo run into eachother sooner than expected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all- thanks again for the kudos and comments and what-not.
> 
> I kind of got distracted in this chapter again with the descriptive narrative. But don't fear- I have written the next chapter and it's pretty much pure Reylo interaction! Yay!
> 
> Side note- English is my 3rd language, so I am totally down for constructive criticism if you see something that doesn't make sense lol.
> 
> Cheers!

“Alright, let me know if you find out anything more about this Poe guy at work tomorrow.” Rey said as she made her way out of Finn’s car after dinner. “I’ll want all the dirty details!”

“I told you Rey, he’s GORGEOUS. Totally out of my league. May not even be gay.” Finn laughed. “I’ll text you though.”

“Good night, lover boy!” Rey said with a wink as she closed the car door. 

Rey watched with a smile as Finn gave her a final wave and drove off down the road. Rey’s heart sang for him. In a way, he was just as alone as her. He wasn’t close with his family- his parents had sent him off to boarding school when he was young. And he had to leave all of his friends in New York behind when he was placed in Witness Protection. He had a few casual friends at the plant, but Rey was his main companion. She hoped more than anything that Poe would at least end up as his friend, if not something more.

She stood outside of the shop for a minute, staring at the sunset. She felt a tear slip down her cheek. What was she crying about? She supposed it was for Finn, she cared about him so much. Or maybe it was for herself. At least Finn had a prospect for love. She was as alone as she had ever been. Rey smeared the tear from her face with her shirt collar and took a deep breath. She never liked crying, and she had never cried in front of anyone before- there was no way she would ever show a sign of weakness like that. The world was mean, and she had to learn more quickly than most that you had to be tough to survive it. With another deep breath, she opened the door to the shop and headed up to her loft, ready for a good night’s sleep, trying to put her thoughts of love and loneliness out of her mind.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

Kylo woke up early. Even when he had trouble sleeping, he couldn’t help that he was an early riser. He groaned into the pillow, trying to will himself back to sleep. Somewhere in the distance, a loud rooster was calling the sunrise. 

“Ok, ok, ok.” he grumbled, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. He felt terrible- like he had a hangover without even drinking. And there were only two things that ever really made him feel better- destroying something, or working out. He decided to go with the latter, considering there was nothing in Leia’s home that could use destroying. 

He wrenched himself out of bed and pulled on a tshirt and shorts. He also threw on a hoodie after remembering that it was pretty cold there in the mornings, pulling the hood up. After rubbing his eyes and the rest of his face, he could feel that quite a thick layer of stubble starting to form on his face, but decided he’d shave in the shower when he got back- there would be no one seeing him on his run. He didn’t like having scruff- it made him look too much like Han. He yanked on his tennis shoes and tried as hard as he could to quietly descend the stairs, hoping to not wake Leia. He went out the back door and started jogging. He immediately began to feel better. Back in Chicago, he would train sometimes twice a day to relieve stress- he took particularly well to the punching bags.

His mind went on autopilot, taking his feet down the roads of the town he knew so well. He passed by his classmates’ houses, the town grocer, down the alley past the town’s only bar. Han’s bar. Han had opened the bar when he and Leia moved into town 30 years ago. At first, Kylo had loved hanging around the bar and helping out, but as he grew older he began to resent it. Han spent too much time there, even after he had hired sufficient help to run it when he was gone. He ran more quickly past it. He followed the lane down to the joint junior high/ high school. He didn’t mind school itself- he actually occasionally enjoyed his history and government classes. But he could never stand the other kids. They never took anything seriously, including Kylo. When he preferred to read or meditate during free time, they would find ways to make his life a living hell. As he grew up and became increasingly less patient with their childish antics, he had taken to threats and violence as a way of making them back off. His height and dark features definitely helped in his intimidation scheme.

As he ran past the school, he made his way over to the athletic fields. He stopped, taking a break on the soccer field. His parents had made him play as a child, and he had not minded for the most part- he enjoyed the competition. He played throughout elementary and junior high, before finally quitting as he grew tired of his teammates. It’s not like his parents had cared, anyway. Leia at least made it to a few games a season when she wasn’t stuck at work. But Han barely came to any. Kylo’s jaw uncontrollably clenched at the memory. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Rey hopped off her bike and took the soccer ball out of her backpack without even noticing the other person that was standing on the field. She nearly yelped in surprise when she saw him. She’d been coming to the soccer field early in the morning for years, and no one had ever been there. She almost turned around- this was usually her quiet time with herself, where she didn’t have to answer to anyone or pretend to be something she wasn’t. Maybe she would just skip today and avoid having to interact with whomever was standing on her field. She shook her head. ‘Grow up!’ she told herself. She wasn’t going to let this person ruin her favorite part of the day. She would just start to play like normal, and hopefully they would leave.

As she approached, the stranger took off their hood of their sweatshirt. She immediately recognized the black locks- she had been dreaming about them last night.

“Kylo!?”

Kylo whipped around.

“Rey?!..... Hi, hey….”

“What are you doing here?” they both asked simultaneously.

Rey giggled. “I come here every morning. You know, just to kick the ball around...” she responded as she held up the soccer ball. She rather enjoyed seeing Kylo so flustered and so… casual. Where he had been decked out in a tight black shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket the other day in her shop, he looked far less put together now. He was clearly in workout gear, and he had a major 5 o’ clock shadow going on. Rey had to push back the thought of what the stubble would feel like against her neck, or thighs.

“Oh... I was just… on a run.” Kylo managed to choke out.

“Ok. Well… I’m going to… you know…” Rey stuttered as she gestured toward the field. God, could she be any more awkward?

“Right!” he said. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Rey started toward the field. As she walked past him, she could practically feel the heat radiating off of him. She also noticed a thin sheen of sweat on him- he must of been running. Imagining him panting left Rey feeling a bit light-headed.

“Hey,” she said, turning around toward him. “Do you want to play? I mean, it would be nice to be able to pass with someone for a change, instead of just playing with myself.” She immediately regretted her word choice. What was it about this man that made her act like a complete fool?

At least he was polite enough not to make any comment, though she saw that he couldn’t keep back a brief chuckle. “Sure,” he said, “though I’m not very good at soccer, I don’t think I’ve played in about 15 years.”

“That’s alright,” Rey said with a wink, “I’ll take it easy on you.”


	6. Soccer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo get to know each other on the soccer field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, ok, that slow burn train keeps on a-chugging. Stick with it!  
> Thanks again for all of the support. What a lovely community!

“Kylo!?”

Kylo whipped around. He really hadn’t expected to run into anyone this early in the morning. Especially the young woman who had kept him up most of the night.

“Rey?..... Hi, hey….”

If possible, she looked even cuter than yesterday. She was in an oversized hoodie, but wearing torturingly small athletic shorts. She had her legs covered by her jeans yesterday, but today they were exposed in all of their supple, fit glory. Her hair was still up in the three-bun style, which Kylo decided was adorable. Weird, but adorable.

“What are you doing here?” they both asked simultaneously.

Kylo had to keep his eyes from wandering back down to her legs as they awkwardly chatted. They were tan and glowing like the rest of her, and her thighs were slowly moving against each other…

“Sure,” he said when she asked if he would stay and play, “though I’m not very good at soccer, I don’t think I’ve played in about 15 years.”

Why was he even agreeing? He never engaged with strangers. And hadn’t he already decided that he wasn’t going to let this girl distract him?… At the moment he couldn’t remember exactly why...

“That’s alright,” Rey said with a wink, “I’ll take it easy on you.”

Kylo let out a sharp exhale at her smile. She would kill him if she kept up the friendly banter.

He followed her out into the field. She tossed the ball town and deftly passed to him.

“So, how long are you in town?” she asked. Unlike himself, she was clearly down for small talk.

“Not sure,” he replied, kicking the ball slightly less gracefully back to her, “depends on how Leia is doing.”

“That’s very sweet of you, to come back and take care of her.” Rey said. He looked at her face again. She wore an honest, tender expression. Clearly she must think well of everyone, since ‘sweet’ is the _last_ word nearly anyone would use to describe him.

“Oh, um. Well, she needed someone. And I haven’t always been the most helpful, so...” Kylo hesitantly and slowly responded as they continued passing the ball back and forth, choosing his words carefully.

“But anyway, what about you? You plan on staying in this town?” he asked, desperate to take the attention off of himself. And he really did want to know more about this girl, and he figured this was a good time as any to finally get a hang of the whole small talk thing.

“Oh, God no!” Rey said, giving the ball a harder kick than normal. “I’m saving up to go to university.”

“What about your boyfriend, is he going with you?

“My boyfriend?” Rey asked, her brows furrowing in clear confusion, stopping the ball with her foot. Could she be any cuter?

“Yeah,” Kylo responded. “The guy from yesterday.”

“Ohhh… no… Finn is definitely NOT my boyfriend” Rey said with emphasis, a smile coming across her face. “He’s like a brother to me.”

“Oh.” Kylo mumbled, unsure of how to gracefully segue to another topic. He couldn’t help but feel relieved she wasn’t with the guy. At the same time, he knew that he was totally screwed- there was going to be no chance of being able to resist imagining himself with her now.

Rey was the one to commandeer the awkward silence, kicking the ball his way. “I’ve been working at the shop for 6 years now. I don’t get paid much but Plutt lets me live in the loft for free, so it sort of evens out. I should have enough to leave soon.”

So she was being underpaid by Plutt? Not surprising. Kylo imagined that Plutt would do anything to keep cheap labor around. He didn’t like it one bit. “Where do you want to go?”

“I’m not sure, honestly. I can’t leave Finn completely, so maybe somewhere nearby?” Rey said. “To be honest, I haven’t planned any of the details. It makes the disappointment easier when you don’t put hope in your future” she added, her voice taking on a darker tone, her eyes cast toward the ground. She grabbed her upper arm with her opposite hand, almost instinctively guarding her chest and caging herself in.

What had made this girl expect disappointment? Kylo thought back to Leia’s description of her. Who knows how long she was in the foster system… and she was never adopted the entire time... and ended up with Plutt of all people. He unintentionally clenched his fists, his anger had snuck up on him again. He wasn’t even entirely sure why. He barely knew this girl- why was he feeling so passionately about her circumstances? For the first time, Kylo felt a bit grateful for his fucked-up family. 

“Well, I hope it all works out for you,” Kylo said truthfully, returning the ball. Unfortunately, he was unable to keep a bit of bite out of his voice. Rey noticed, eyeing him curiously, as though attempting to read his mind. She could tell there was something wrong.

“What about you? Where do you live when you’re not here?”

Kylo let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Normal, he had to try to act normal. “Chicago” he answered.

Rey’s face immediately melted into a genuine smile. “I’ve always wanted to go there- I’ve heard the pizza is incredible- much thicker than regular pizza! I’d live in the pizza parlor.”

Kylo chuckled. What was is with this girl and food? Yesterday she had mentioned eating her weight in wings, now she wanted to live in a pizza parlor.

“If you’re ever in town, I’ll take you out for pizza” Kylo promised, unable to keep a grin off of is face.

“Are you asking me out on a pizza date?” Rey asked. Kylo noticed a faint blush cross her cheeks. She also had one eyebrow raised, as though mocking him. 

“Maybe I am” he responded boldly, not allowing her to win. He felt a smirk form on his mouth. Rey’s grin vanished, as though she had been caught doing something bad.

“Let’s play a game!” she said suddenly, stopping the ball with her foot. “Keep away?” Her smile had quickly returned, along with a playful but deadly look in her eyes. 

“Ok… although I think we both know you’re the better soccer player…”

“Yeah, but you’ve got those long legs!” Rey quipped. “The penalty box is the boundary. I’ll let you start so that you have a chance to have the ball for at least a little bit” she cheekily said as she passed him the ball.

“Alright” he chuckled. Rey certainly had a youthful energy about her. Not immature, but pure. He rather liked it.

He started slowly dribbling around the box. After giving him a few seconds, Rey quickly sprinted over and stole the ball, letting out a giddy laugh and running off with it, throwing a world-shattering smile back to Kylo.

“I thought you said you were going to take it easy on me!” he yelled.

“Sorry, I can’t help it! I’m too competitive!” Rey laughed in return.

“Well, Rey, what you don’t know is that I’ve been holding back!”

“Oh yeah? Prove it!”

Rey’s eyes widened as Kylo suddenly sprinted toward her, boxing her into a corner of the penalty box. But she was too quick, and was able to studder- step and dribble away from him, laughing the entire time. She carried on besting him for another few minutes, and Kylo was getting worn out.

“Don’t you ever get tired?” he asked, bending over to catch his breath. He figured she’d be good since she said she had been playing for years, but he thought he’d at least be able to keep some of his dignity.

“Not really!” Rey responded with a coy smile. Kylo even found her sweat sexy, as droplets of it spilled down from her forehead down her neck. He wondered if she was getting warm and would take off her sweatshirt.

Kylo took after her again, but this time with a different plan. Instead of aiming for the ball, he grabbed Rey by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. 

“What- let me go!” she screamed, playfully pounding her fists on his back. Kylo had to make an effort to not look at her ass which was currently next to his head.

“Not a chance, it’s my ball now!” Kylo yelled, spinning around in a circle, occasionally tapping the ball with his foot. Rey was squirming in his grip, which only made him hold her by her thighs even tighter.  
He couldn’t remember having this much fun.... well... ever.

“Ok, ok, fine, you win!” she relented, finally going limp, panting.

“Wow, that was easy. You sure give up quickly.” he joked, setting her back down on the ground. His hands grazed over more of her body than he intended as she slithered down. Mortified, he looked into her eyes, expecting to find anger at his wandering hands.

But before Kylo could process what was happening, Rey pressed herself against his body, wrapped her arms around his core and lifted. Kylo let out a yelp of surprise as his feet came an inch off of the ground.

“See- you’re not the only person here who can cheat!” Rey yelled gleefully into his chest as she continued to struggle to hold him up.

How in the hell was this petite woman lifting him? Kylo couldn’t remember the last time anyone lifted him, let alone a girl. He was tall, and pretty thick with muscle. Rey was full of surprises, and it made him like her even more. But he did feel rather foolish and gawky being lifted by someone so small.

“Alright, I get it. You’re better than me! Now put me down before you hurt yourself!”

She dropped him, but her arms didn’t leave his torso. Her arms felt tiny around him, and all Kylo wanted to do was wrap his around her in return. He looked down at her face. He hadn’t seen it this close-up before. He could see every freckle across the high points of her face, every tendril of hair framing it. Her lips looked so soft and pink, and her eyes were boring into his, as if they held some sort of secret.

Before he could even comprehend how to respond, she suddenly let go, backing away very quickly, glancing around her as if trying to avoid his eyes. “I better go- I’ve got some stuff to do before opening the shop” she said as she grabbed her soccer ball. She jogged over to her bike, tossing the ball in her backpack and throwing it on her shoulders.

“Thanks for playing with me! See you Saturday!” she yelled as her legs started pumping on her bike pedals.

Kylo was still frozen in the same spot where she had held him, completely baffled by the series of events. Had he done something wrong? Normally he was the one to try to get rid of people he was interacting with as quickly as possible. So he should have been fine, but suddenly the bottom of Kylo’s stomach felt empty, and a bit like someone had punched him there.

Normally people quickly either became scared of him or really hated him. Rey didn’t seem to fall into either camp. Kind of the opposite actually. She confused Kylo to no end. And something about her made him different too. He had yet to end up yelling at her, which must be some sort of record for him in terms of meeting new people. But she had run away from him in the end, so there must have been something he did that repulsed her. Unsurprising. Maybe it was for the best. He _had_ told himself that he didn’t want to get attached.

He pulled his hood back up and started running back home, trying not to remember what Rey’s legs felt like in his hands.


	7. Setbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plutt confronts Rey, crushing any hope she has to leave town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot more Rey POV in this chapter. Also, the chapters from here on out are a lot longer than the preceding ones. Right now it's looking like an 18 chapter fic, but that might be subject to change!  
> As always, thanks for the lovely comments. Hope you all are well.

Rey had taken a very cold shower after returning from the soccer field that morning. But even after scrubbing her skin, she couldn’t wash off the feeling of his muscled back under her hands, or his broad shoulder digging into her waist. 

What had even happened? It usually took a very long time for her to open up to people, and she could count that number of people on one hand. But within a day of meeting Kylo she had immediately blabbed about her life and plans, and even let him close enough to touch her. Looking back at it, when he had grabbed her waist and threw her over his shoulder, she had actually been having _fun_. Normally, when anyone tried to touch her she’d immediately go into attack mode. But this time, his hands on her thighs didn’t incite fear, they incited something far more enticing, and far more pleasurable.

Ok, so she was attracted to him. Big deal. Before she knew it, he would be back in Chicago and she would carry on with her life. She couldn’t handle feeling attached to yet another person who would just leave her behind. She could dismiss this as a physical attraction, and nothing more. She didn’t need anyone. She never had.

She went back to focusing on the car she was working on, hoping to finish it before lunch to stay on track with her tasks for the day. She turned the radio on to the classic rock station and got to work. She really loved working with her hands. Something about the way grease and metal felt against her skin made her feel alive. Within minutes, she was in her meditative zone.

She didn’t expect to hear the bell of the shop ring an hour later. Her immediate reflex was to hope it was Kylo, which was a weird impulse. Instead, Plutt came lumbering around the corner into the the garage as she wiped her hands. 

“You’re not done with that car yet, girl?”

“I had to wait for a ton of parts to come in. Mr. Ackbar understands…”

“You better not be wasting any time or money” he responded with a grunt, his chins resonating with each word. He loomed closer, and she instinctively backed away. She knew that he wouldn’t stop getting closer if she stayed still.

“Of course not” she responded with more bite than she knew was wise.

“DON’T YOU BACKTALK ME GIRL.” he began shouting, “DON’T FORGET WHO FED AND CLOTHED YOU ALL THOSE YEARS. AND WHO LETS YOU LIVE HERE FOR FREE.” The oil streamed down his face, and his eyes took on a possesive, dangerous glint.

“Yes, Mr. Plutt” Rey said, taking on a submissive tone. “I didn’t mean to backtalk. I am working very hard to get all of the orders done as soon as possible.” She had learned long ago it was better to keep her head down instead of fighting him. He was always looking for an excuse to abuse her more, but tended to leave her alone if she quietly acquiesced. 

“Good.” Plutt said. “In fact,” he added, his voice taking on a gleefully devious tone, “I can add some incentive for you to do your damn job.”

Rey didn’t respond. She didn’t want to bait him. She kept her eyes pointed toward the floor.

“I found out something interesting about your friend.”

What? Did he mean Finn? Rey internally gasped. No, he couldn’t know... how could he know about the Witness Protection? He must mean something else. Rey willed her face to keep a blank expression despite her mind racing, and continued to look down at the floor.

“I’ve got a buddy downstate who’s got a friend in New York. Says they’ve lost a dark-skinned fellow at the company who has some… debts to pay” Plutt said, with evil dripping over every word.

Rey’s heartbeat instantly accelerated. How had he found out? She knew Plutt cut deals with all sorts of sketchy people, but she didn’t expect him to run around with city business types. What is he saying? Surely he wouldn’t tell the guy that Finn was here, breaking his cover...

“What of it?” Rey asked, trying to feign ignorance.

“It would be unfortunate if someone let it slip that the new guy in town matches the description of this gentleman. Wouldn’t it, _Rey_?” 

Rey’s mind was racing. Was he threatening her? What was he asking? She didn’t say anything, she knew she couldn’t give anything away. She wanted to look up, wanted to defend herself, but he had already taken so much from her. She couldn’t let him take anything else. Maybe if she played dumb he would drop it.

Unfortunately, Plutt’s suspicions were confirmed from the microexpressions on her face that she wasn’t able to hide- fear, anger, despair.

“I think it would be nice if you stayed here a few years, help me run the business and all. I think keeping things around here the same sounds good to both of us, doesn’t it?”

So he knew she wanted to leave. And he wanted her to stay so he could keep her on as cheap labor. And with this new leverage against her, there was no telling if he’d return to treating her the way he used to, the way he did while she was still living with him. Rey couldn’t think of a way out of this. There is no way she would ever betray Finn. She didn’t even want to verbally confirm Plutt’s clout. She felt trapped, like an animal in a cage. Her head started to hurt with all of the racing emotions, the pain building behind her eyes. She felt herself back onto an edge, just one step away from falling over it... 

“Sure” she was able to spit out, trying to keep her breathing normal and eyes away from Plutt’s hideous face. She hoped she was making it seem like she was planning on staying anyway, and didn’t know anything about the threat he was spewing. She knew it wasn’t working, though.

“Excellent...” Plutt sneered. “Seems as though I haven’t heard of any such man living around here, it turns out.” He slowly walked out of the shop, throwing Rey dangerous glares any chance he got. He slammed the door behind him, crushing any remaining willpower Rey had.

Rey collapsed onto the floor, unable to keep the tears at bay any longer. Tears were running down her face. When she tried to take a deep breath, it turned to sobbing. She had always been able to survive the threats on herself, but the thought of putting her only friend in danger terrified her. This is why she had never attached herself to anyone- it only led to pain. She should have kept her cursed life to herself. Those she loved only ever ended up hurting her or being hurt by her.   
It was too late for Finn now. Plutt had her by her heart. The only thing she could do was submit- she would do anything to protect Finn. He had been through so much already. As she sat on the floor, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth, she tried to calm her breathing. Panicking and crying wouldn’t help her. She tried to reason with herself. Staying trapped in this town was a small price to pay for Finn’s safety. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took 4 minutes and 13 seconds to load his email homepage. Kylo was never going to get any work done with the painfully slow wifi at his mother’s house. Good thing Rey was coming on Saturday to upgrade it. But what was he going to do in the meantime?

“Mom!” Kylo shouted across the house, “Does your office have good wifi?” Maybe he could head back to work with her after her lunch break. It would at least be quiet at City Hall, although he would have to endure the looks and whispers of her nosy coworkers.

“Sorry hon, we’re still plugged into lines! It’s an ancient set up- I don’t think we even have an extra port!” Leia shouted back across the house from the kitchen. At least she was eating lunch. He knew she had only come home for a lunch break because she knew he was there. He had made sure to stock the fridge with groceries, hoping she’d eat.

Kylo sighed. He was not ready to consider the alternative.

“You could head over to Maz and Chewie’s!” Leia suggested,confirming Kylo’s fear. “Their wifi is good and they would love to see you!”

That was the last place Kylo wanted to go, especially alone. Chewie would inevitably want to talk about his father, and Maz would inevitably try to ‘fix’ his life. That woman could read people like an open book. He would never hear the end of it.

“I’ll see if there’s anywhere in town with wifi. There must be at least one place by now.” Kylo responded. Unfortunately, going into town meant increased chances of other people wanting to talk to him, misplacing sympathy for him, or trying to figure out how a nice young boy had turned into someone like him. He sighed, feeling a slight headache forming. He had forgotten to buy coffee beans, maybe some caffeine would help.

“Fine! But you’re going to have to see them at some point! They’re family!” Leia yelled around a mouthful of food, still in the kitchen.

Kylo put on his sunglasses, and threw up a hood to try to conceal as much of his face as he could. He packed up his laptop, phone, and chargers, and gave Leia a brief, stiff hug before heading out to his car. It was finally fully daytime, although it had seemed ages ago that he was playing soccer with Rey. No, he wouldn’t think about her. He was going to get some work done, do his best to comfort his mother, and repeat every day until she was well enough for him to leave. He wouldn’t get attached to anyone or anything here. He wouldn’t go through the pain of separating himself again.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The last thing Rey wanted to do was leave her loft. She had spent the rest of her day holding back anger and tears, trying to get work done, when all she wanted to do was collapse into bed and let sleep take her. She couldn’t even enjoy fixing Mr. Ackbar’s engine. Not after her encounter with Plutt.

But she was out of food. Her tiny fridge was empty, as were her cupboards. She considered going to bed hungry, she was exhausted and drained enough from the day to fall asleep with an empty stomach. But her survival instincts kicked in. Growing up, she never knew if her foster parents were going to feed her well, or where her next meal was coming from. So she had always been prepared. She hoarded snacks whenever she could, hiding them amongst her sparse possessions or in whatever secret nooks and crannies she could find. Although she was an adult now, and could somewhat afford to keep herself well-fed, Rey still liked to be prepared, just in case. It was practical. So she dragged herself out of her loft, hopped on her bike, and pedaled towards the general store.

She started loading up her basket. She always bought a ton of fruit- she didn’t have it much growing up, and now she could never get enough. She made her way through the canned goods aisle, tossing in a few essentials she needed to restock.

As she walked into the next aisle, she was faced with a familiar profile. Kylo wasn’t hard to spot- he had to be one of the tallest people in town, and he was again decked out in all black clothing. His nose protruded out from his face quite a bit, but balanced with his brow line, which actually just made him look regal and powerful. He had sunglasses pushed on top of his head, which combed his somehow perfect hair away from his face. He had shaved since their meeting on the soccer field, and good grief, the guy even looked great shaved even though she could have sworn she’d been obsessed with his stubble this morning. It was honestly unfair that he look so good, whereas Rey looked like a tired, still-puffy-from-crying mess. He was staring at the coffee section as though trying to intimidate the K-cup boxes. Rey almost giggled at how strange he looked, so serious in the grocery store.

“Can I make a recommendation?” Rey asked, approaching him.

Kylo jumped, he had clearly been lost in thought. His intense stare whirled around to Rey. His face immediately softened a bit. “Please,” he said, “my normal brand isn’t here.” His voice was as smooth as honey.

Rey’s arm grazed his as she reached across him to pick up a bag of her favorite beans. “You’ll want these if you’re a dark roast kind of guy.” she said.

Kylo watched her hand as she extended the bag to his. He looked up at her, and she was again taken in by his dark gaze.

“I am.” he said in a low timbre. Rey felt goosebumps erupt on her arms. Thank goodness she had thrown on a sweater. She had noticed other attractive guys before, but had never been reduced to a shaking mess like this by a man. She needed to pull herself together.

“Sorry for running off this morning,” Rey stammered, turning her eyes back to the coffee. “I hadn’t realized how late it was getting and I needed to get to work.” This wasn’t entirely untrue, but it definitely wasn’t the reason she had run off.

“No problem.” Kylo responded, turning to face her. “Seems like we run into each other a lot. I’m sure I’ll get to see plenty of you” he added, his expression not giving away anything.

“Mmm.” she said, eyes scanning back toward him, her body subconsciously leaning an inch closer to him. “It seems so.”

Rey could hear the bell on the door of the general store ring, and hear the calm bustle of customers around them, but all of her attention was on Kylo, especially his full lips. How had she not noticed them before? 

“Rey!” she hears someone shout from behind Kylo, breaking her trance.

“Finn! Hey!” she responds, finally able to break Kylo’s gaze.

“I saw your bike outside and-...... oh, hi Kylo.” Finn extended his hand toward Kylo.

Rey saw Kylo’s expression sour before turning to Finn. He shook his hand without a word.

They awkwardly stood in a triangle for a moment. Kylo was back to looking at Rey, and Finn was glancing nervously between the two of them.

“Well,” Rey said cheerfully, trying to cut the tension, “I’m going to keep shopping. Let me know how that coffee works out, Kylo.” She threw a smile his way, hoping to not come off as rude or ditching him again.

Kylo’s expression remained intense for another moment, his eyes continuing to scan her face, before turning to something a bit more somber. “I will” he responded. He nodded his head toward both of them and made his way to the cashier.

“God, that guy always looks like his dog died or something” Finn said as Kylo walked away.

“Shhh!” Rey whispered, “do you want him to hear you?”

“Ok, ok!” Finn whispered in return. “What were you two talking about, anyway? Hopefully more than just coffee…” he said with a knowing smirk.

Rey felt her cheeks warm, she knew she couldn’t hide anything from Finn.

“Ok, you were right. He’s hot. Can we let it go now?”

“Woah, defensive. You must really like him.”

“We’re just friendly.” Rey said. “We played soccer this morning, he’s alright.”

“Soccer? You never invite me to play soccer!”

“It’s usually my alone time!” Rey said defensively as they made their way over to the frozen food section. “For some reason he was on the field, I didn’t want to be rude!”

“Riigghhttt” Finn said, drawing out the word.

“Look, Finn. I’ve had a really, really bad day. Can we just get some ice cream and head to your place and eat it all?”

“Sure, babe. Sorry, I was just teasing.” Finn responded, looking apologetic. He suddenly tilted his head, noticing her expression and appearance. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it today. Maybe another time.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo watched from his car as Rey and Finn left the general store. He had waited a minute to try to grab another glance at her. It could be considered creepy, but he was worried about her. She had looked sad. He noticed it the moment she had gotten his attention in the store. And not the kind of sad one would be after a stressful day at work. She looked exhausted- like someone or something was sucking the life force out of her. He could tell the difference between the genuine smiles she gave him this morning and the forced expression she gave in the store. Even Finn looked concerned as he chatted with her as they walked away. The look on her face broke a little bit of whatever of Kylo’s spirit was left. She had been so cheerful this morning. What had happened? The two previous times he had seen her, she looked tough and determined. Now she looked like she was going to break down at any moment. He felt… sorry for her. He actually felt her pain echoed in his heart.


	8. Wifi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey comes over to set up their wifi. Everyone is embarrassed. Kylo gets angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That slow, slow burn, folks.

“Ben, can you get the door?” Leia yelled from upstairs. “That must be Rey!”

Kylo involuntarily shuddered. It had been less of a week and already he couldn’t stand living in this town, in his parents’ house. Every inch was coated in bad memories. Being yelled at across the house by Leia made his heart painfully clench, even if this time it wasn’t something negative.

Leia’s guess was right, of course. Kylo knew exactly who was coming, as he had been anticipating her arrival for days. After seeing her look so distraught at the general store on Thursday, he had spent all of Friday thinking about her…..

He pulled open the door to reveal a chipper-looking Rey. She greeted Kylo with a huge smile and a wave, as if nothing had happened. Ok… maybe she was fine?

Her hair was falling out of her three buns onto her golden shoulders. Did she really have to wear a tight tank top? Was she _trying_ to kill him? To make matters worse, she was in the same jeans that had originally enticed him earlier in the week. It took everything in his willpower to keep his eyes focused on her face.

“Rey, come on in.” he said, trying to keep his voice even and expression neutral. “Leia’s upstairs, she’ll be down in a minute.” He led her into the house, gesturing toward the dining room table. “Here, you can put your stuff down on the table… how are you by the way?” 

Rey gave him what looked like a sincere grin. “I’m well. Thanks a lot for hooking me up with this job. I called the cable company for you and got a pretty good deal, and you’ll save a bunch of money with me installing everything.” she said as she placed her toolbox and backpack on the table. Kylo actually found it adorable that she carried a backpack instead of a purse or bag like a normal girl. It definitely suited her.

“Thanks. Leia doesn’t normally use the internet much but I’m working remotely while I’m here so I’ve gotta have something reliable.”

“Oh, I was wondering if you had quit your job in Chicago or something. That’s nice that they let you work from here.” Rey responded, turning towards him, placing her hands on her hips.

“Rey!” Leia shouted as she descended the stairs. “It’s so lovely to see you!”

When she appeared at the bottom of the staircase, Kylo was stricken with his mother’s face. Kylo hadn’t seen a smile so full on his mother in years. He couldn’t blame her. What _wasn’t_ there to like about Rey?

“Leia!” Rey said, as Leia reached out to hug her. “I’m sorry that it’s been a while. And I am so, so sorry about Han.”

Leia released her from the quick hug and grasped Rey’s hands in hers. “Thank you, my dear. He was always fond of you- he was always complaining that he couldn’t poach you from the shop to work at his bar!”

“That was so nice that he offered, but I love working on cars too much! I’m sure he would have felt the same way.”

So Rey knew about Han’s obsession with cars. It wasn’t a secret- Han was an autocross racer before Kylo was born. He gave up racing, but always had at least a dozen old cars in the pole barn behind their house that he and his friend Chewie worked on. Han had tried to get Kylo into cars. When he was a kid he’d help by fetching tools, reading out parts of the manuals, and reaching his small hands into parts of the car that Han couldn’t fit in without jacking the car up. But Kylo lost interest after he realized Han would always choose the cars over him.

“Is there anything you need before getting to work? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Ben made a fabulous lasagna last night and we have some leftovers...” Leia had gone into full mom mode.

Rey raised her eyebrows at Kylo before turning back to Leia. “Actually, could I trouble you for a glass of water?” she asked politely.

“Of course! Ben, fetch the poor girl some water!” Leia shooed Kylo toward the kitchen.

When Kylo returned, Leia and Rey were already sitting at the table chatting. Leia’s eyes were shining, and there was a nice color to her face that Kylo hadn’t seen since Han died. This is what Leia needed- a child that made her happy. She could have had someone like Rey, but she was stuck with him. Kylo’s heart broke in that moment. He always knew that he wasn’t a great kid, but he had never thought about how different his parents’ lives would have been if they had raised a normal, happy son or daughter. He almost didn’t hear Leia address him.

“Get over here Ben! I was just telling Rey how you went to law school. She doesn’t know what she wants to study yet. Maybe you could take her to visit schools downstate while you’re here! I think if you…”

But Kylo missed the rest of Leia’s ramble. For when he handed Rey the glass of water, their fingers briefly grazed each other’s. Kylo didn’t believe in rom-com trash, but he could have sworn he saw an actual spark of electricity arc between them. 

‘I’d love to.” he said, interrupting Leia, looking Rey right in the eye. It was a purely impulsive reaction. Idiot. Did he really have to sound so eager?

Rey looked at him quizzically, lips slightly parted. 

“I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you. Anyway, I don’t even think I’ll be able to go for a few years, so I might as well wait until I’m ready to apply.”

“A few years!?” Leia demanded. “Honey, if you want to further your education you should do it sooner rather than later! There are plenty of folks in town who can help you get good loans if money is the problem, and Zulara at my office knows all about scholarships that you can apply for- her two boys did very well for themselves!”

Rey drew her eyes away from Kylo’s, turning to look sheepishly at Leia. “Thank you so much, but I’ve got some personal matters keeping me in town for a bit. But I’ll definitely take you up on that offer as soon as I can.” she said with a quiet but definitive tone. The smile she had come in the house with was long gone.

Kylo could tell that Leia wanted to press the issue, she was always determined to help those that she could. But she had apparently noticed how uncomfortable Rey was getting. 

“Alright, dear. We’ll talk about it another time.” she said, frowning.

“Thanks.” Rey mumbled, taking a sip from the glass of water. Kylo noticed a microtremble in her hand as she did so. She put it down quickly, and tucked the hairs that had fallen out of her buns behind her ears. She changed the topic. “I was just telling Kylo that I already called the cable company for you, so once I set up in here you should be good to go with the wifi.”

Leia looked over at Kylo with her frown, eyes narrowing. He could tell that she didn’t like that Rey wasn’t referring to him as ‘Ben’. She made the same face anytime he corrected anyone on his name. He waited to see if she was going to say anything about it. 

Instead, she turned back to Rey with what seemed like a forced smile. “Sounds great. Don’t let Ben distract you while you’re working- he’s always been fidgety around cute girls.”

“Mom!” Kylo groaned. Great. She was getting her revenge by trying to embarrass him. Classic Leia power move. It didn’t help that Rey giggled in response.

“He hasn’t been fidgety at all, actually! I must not be very cute.” she responded jovially, giving Leia a playful smile.

“Wait- you two have been spending time together?” Leia asked, looking between the two of them, her eyebrows suddenly sky high.

Aha, so her plan backfired. Kylo took the opportunity to make his move. 

“We ran into each other a few times” he said as casually as he could. So much for trying to embarrass him- he knew how to play it cool. He didn’t spend all those years bottling up his emotions for nothing.

“Well, if you two are so familiar already, I guess I’ll leave you two at it, then.” Leia countered, throwing Kylo a truly Organa-level mischievous look before standing up from the table and exiting the room. 

Oh, she was good. Whereas Kylo had gone for the casual ignorance card, she had hit the nail right on the head- making it seem like she was giving them ‘alone time’. She always knew exactly how to push Kylo’s buttons and embarrass him.

This left Kylo alone with Rey, whose eyes were wide with surprise, but with a light smile still on her face.

“Ignore her, she’s always joking around.” Kylo said, waving a hand around, trying to cut the tension. He hoped Rey would brush it off as a joke.

“Come on, I’ll show you where we have the current modem.”

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey had just finished setting up the new modem, calling the cable company again, and configuring the wifi when Leia came back into the living room. 

“How’s it going, Rey? Where did Ben go?”

“Great!” Rey replied. “Ben said he was going to get some work done, I told him I was fine here.” She gestured to the system in front of her- “This is good to go, but I should probably set up a wifi range extender or two since your house is so big. Where should I put those?”

“Well, Ben’s the one that will really be using the wifi for work, so we might as well put one in his room.” Leia said. “Follow me.”

Leia led Rey back to the stairs by the the front door, then up. As they climbed, Rey couldn’t ignore the dozens of photos lining the stairwell- some of Leia and Han, some with Maz and Chewie, and many of a young Kylo.

“Oh my god...” Rey muttered under her breath.

“What?” Leia asked, turning around. “Oh, yeah that’s Ben. Wasn’t he cute?”

‘Cute’ was one word for it. She was looking at a photo of Kylo when he must have been around 7 or 8 or so. His dark hair was already long, but it was pushed back behind two giant, goofy ears. He had on round glasses and was flashing a giant smile at the camera with hilariously crooked teeth. He was decked out in Batman pajamas and holding up a children’s telescope.

“That’s him on Christmas morning when we gave him that telescope. He used to love stargazing.” Leia said. Rey noticed a warm, soft smile appear on her mouth, spreading all the way to her eyes as she surveyed the photo.

Rey felt her eyes water. Rey had never witnessed love as pure as the love that was written across Leia’s face. Did all parents love their children like that? Rey’s certainly hadn’t. What would it have been like to have Leia as a mother? Her heart nearly exploded thinking about it- about the sheer abundance of love that people with families got to have. 

She looked back at the photo. It was even funnier the second time around. “That is one cute, dorky kid.” she said, choking back laughter.

Leia chuckled. “It’s funny- he outgrew me just a few years after that. Kid shot up like a bean stalk.”

Rey smiled. Kylo as a kid? It was hard to imagine. He was 100% man now, that was for sure. Rey wondered when _that_ had happened. Had all the girls in high school salivated over him? He must have his choice of women in Chicago- there’s no way women didn’t fawn over him. 

Leia continued climbing the stairs, breaking Rey out of her musing. She followed- they turned right at the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the hallway. Leia knocked on the door.

“Ben, can I come in?”

“Sure.” Rey heard through the door.

Leia opened the door and Rey followed her in. She had already forgotten that they were going into Kylo’s room…crap. She suddenly felt very out of place.

Then she saw Kylo. He was laying on his bed, back propped against the headboard. He had his laptop on his lap and had what looked like a spreadsheet open. He had taken off the sweater he had on earlier, leaving him in a pretty snug grey t-shirt. Rey’s mouth went dry as she traced his biceps, pecs, and shoulders with her eyes. She hadn’t seen the guns he was packing before- her only encounters with him had been him in his leather jacket or black hoodie.

Kylo quickly jumped up out of bed, seemingly embarrassed by Rey entering his room. Rey felt very uncomfortable. Not only was she aroused just by the mere sight of Kylo laying in a bed like some sort of hormonal teenager, but now he probably resented her for invading his privacy.

“Rey’s going to install a wifi thing in here.” Leia said, not at all noticing Rey or Kylo’s discomfort. She strolled across the room and pulled up the blinds on one of the windows.

The phone rang loudly from down the hall.

“Ben, I’ll leave you to keep Rey company while she works!” Leia commanded. “I suspect that’s Maz calling, wondering why you haven’t been to see her yet!” she added while leaving the room.

Rey watched her as she walked out, panicking about being left alone with Kylo in his bedroom. It was a silly thing. They were two adults. It was just a room. If he wasn’t attractive, this wouldn’t be a problem. But she couldn’t very well be comfortable with him and his bed right… there. 

“So,” she said, turning to him, trying to keep herself cool-sounding. “Where should I put it- the extender?”

“Uh… I guess on the shelf above the desk would be a good place for it.” Kylo responded. He was standing with his arms folded over his chest, accentuating his shoulders even more.

“Ok, there’s not really anything to install, you just plug it in and it will automatically pick up and amplify the signal. I think Leia thought I’d have to set up something...” Rey said as she walked over and placed the extender on the shelf.

“So the wifi is back up now?”

“Yup, it should be,” she said, “why don’t you try it out and let me know if it’s working?”

“Oh… right…” Kylo said, making his way back to the bed. He sat down and opened his laptop again. His hands were ridiculously large compared to the laptop keyboard.

“Ok, I’m seeing the network. It’s asking for a password. Did you set it?”

Crap. She had set up the password somehow not remembering that she’d need to give it to Kylo.

“Uh, maybe let me change it first.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing.”

“Well now you have to tell me!” Kylo said with a laugh. He really did look good like that. Rey liked his dark, intense expressions too, but his smile was just as infectious as Leia’s.

“I don’t know… you’re going to make fun of me.”

“Now what ever gave you that idea, Sweet Buns?”

“Was that a dig at my hair?” Rey asked with a gasp. Rey’s first foster mom in the system had done her hair that way. She had really liked the woman, but Rey was moved to a new home within a few months. She had kept the hairstyle.

“You should be glad it’s about hair and not something inappropriate.” Kylo teased. That smirk Rey had seen on the soccer field had returned. This guy was dangerous, clearly he was using flirtatiousness to mess with her.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll tell you.” Rey said, trying to distract him from any more smart comments. “It’s… ‘GandalfTheGrey7.” She blurted out as fast as she could. It was the password she used for everything, she had automatically entered it when setting up the wifi. It referred to the main wizard from _Lord of the Rings_ and had 7, the most powerful magical number, at the end.

“I’m sorry… what?”

“GandalfTheGrey7.” Rey repeated, with her eyes closed. She could still see Kylo’s shit-eating grin despite not actually looking at his face.

“You NERD” he said, choking back laughter.

Rey’s face went warm, she opened her eyes. “It’s a classic series!” she yelled in defense, crossing her arms.

Kylo was hiding his mouth behind his hand, trying to contain his laughter. “You don’t have to tell me, Rey! Check out the bookcase behind you!”

Rey turned around. The bookcase was filled to the brim with what looked like children’s books and young adult novels, and in the center was an expensive-looking box set of the Lord of the Rings series, complete with action figures of the entire Fellowship surrounding it.

Rey’s jaw dropped, and she whipped back around. 

“And you called ME a nerd? God, Kylo, at least I have them in paperback like a normal person!” They were the first real books she had ever owned. When she was in the system downstate, she spent a lot of time at the public library, reading as much as she could. One day, the elderly librarian gave her his old paperbacks, telling her he thought she would like the series. Gandalf became her favorite character.

“I never said _I_ wasn’t a nerd too.” Kylo said, still smiling. He stood up from the bed and approached the bookcase. “You have incredible password-crafting skills.”

His height and size was very noticeable in a smaller room, and there was increasingly less space between them as he advanced. Rey blinked a few times, trying to figure out if she was supposed to move out of the way or not.

Unless he was walking toward her… oh, no. He would for sure notice her elevated heartbeat and heavy breathing if he got too close.

“Soccer, taste in books, Is there anything about you that _isn’t_ incredible, Rey?” Kylo asked, voice lowering, now terrifyingly close to her.

The way he said her name made her stomach bottom out. She could see his individual eyelashes. Way too close. But her feet were frozen, she couldn’t move.

“People tell me I don’t have very good table manners…” she whispered, “and I used to get into fist fights all of the time.”

“Mmm, so you’re saying you’re not a good girl?” Kylo asked quietly, the corners of his mouth curling with mischief. His face was now inches from hers, looking down at her, hands in his back pockets. Rey could see his Adam’s apple bobbing, and could feel heat radiating off of his chest.

“How’s it going in here?”

Rey jumped away from Kylo instinctively as Leia charged through the doorway. Leia looked right at her, and Rey was sure that her face was beet red. She then looked at Kylo, raising one eyebrow very high.

“Well.” Kylo responded for her, calmly. “The wifi is all set up and working just fine” he said, backing away and gesturing to his laptop. Great, she was reduced to a mess while he remained totally aloof. He was clearly messing with her.

“I see” Leia said with a suspicious tone, still watching Kylo through narrow eyes.

“Rey, thanks so much for doing this,” she said, turning back to Rey. “Actually I was hoping you could come back next Saturday. I’m redoing the basement and I was hoping you could check out the plumbing in the kitchenette that’s down there. The sink is acting kind of funny. Between the two of us- Ben is better at destroying things than fixing things- so I’m not letting him anywhere near the wiring or plumbing in this house.”

“I’d be glad to!” Rey said, trying to will away the flush in her face and trying to avoid looking at Kylo. But she couldn’t help to catch his eye roll at his mother’s comment about him. Rey held back a smirk of her own.

“Excellent. I popped an envelope with your payment in your backpack downstairs, and don’t you dare try to tell me I paid you too much. You are far too modest, young lady.” Leia beckoned her out of the room, and they trotted downstairs, with Kylo behind them.

“Would you like to stay for dinner? I’m making enchiladas! And Ben can make homemade ice cream!”

Rey almost said yes- how could she turn up homemade enchiladas and ice cream? Those were like her two favorite foods! To be fair, every food was her favorite food. And she NEVER turned down a free meal. Thankfully she caught herself- there was no way she was going to be able to sit through an entire dinner with Kylo without embarrassing herself more. And it was getting harder and harder to stop herself from gawking at him like he was God’s gift to women. The more she interacted with him, the more she liked him.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m actually pretty beat. I’ve been working since really early this morning- I’m behind on work at the shop you see…”

“Honey, it’s Saturday! Plutt can’t make you work on the weekend! I’m going to give him a piece of my mind-”

“No!” Rey exclaimed. Leia and Kylo looked at her with identical, curious expressions. “I mean, no, that’s ok. He’s not making me. I’m just trying to get Mr. Ackbar his car back, I’ve had it for over a week now and I know that he needs it for work.”

“Ok dear… but get some rest! I mean it!” Leia said. There was no arguing with her tone.

“I will, I’m just going to chill and rest tonight.” Rey said, forcing a smile, grabbing her things and heading for the door. It had only been a few days since Plutt had threatened her, and the smiles were still hard to fake. She just wanted to get home and curl up in bed.

“Thanks again, Rey. See you next Saturday if I don’t see you sooner.” Leia said, giving her a quick side-hug as she opened the door.

“Thank you. Bye!” she snuck one last look at Kylo, who was standing behind Leia. His mouth was drawn into a flat line, and his brows were furrowed- he was clearly thinking about something.

Rey unchained her bike from Leia’s fence, strapped her toolbox onto the rig she made behind the seat, and took off for her loft.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m telling you, Maz, I should have had my wifi upgraded years ago. I Skyped Luke this morning and for once there wasn’t a 20 second lag on the call!”

Leia and Kylo were sitting at the round dining room table with Chewie and Maz at their farm. Maz had called again on Sunday morning to demand that Kylo come over for dinner. 

“You’ve been here five days and haven’t been over yet!” she had yelled earlier on the phone. “It’s Sunday- I expect you to be here for Sunday dinner with your mother!” she had demanded before hanging up the phone. Sunday dinners had always been a thing for his parents and Maz and Chewie- they were all very close despite the large age gap between the two couples. When Leia and Han decided to move out of the city, they followed their friends who had retired several years earlier to the small rural town.

So here he was, sitting between his father’s best friend and his semi-psychic wife, praying for the dinner to pass without any sort of attack on him.

“And you should have seen the way Ben was looking at Rey- he was like a kid in a candy store!” Leia added after taking a sip of her wine, looking conspiratorily at Maz.

Kylo’s jaw dropped. No such luck for him, apparently.

“Saw something sweet, did you?” Maz asked, the corners of her mouth turning up.

“No- I- … What? I barely know her. I was just being polite.” Kylo responded, hiding his suddenly sweating hands under the table. He shot his mother what he hoped was a dark glare.

“Bullshit, Ben Solo!” Maz swore. For a little old lady, she always had quite the mouth on her. “You’re not polite to anyone nowadays. She must be someone special.”

“You two think you’re very funny, don’t you?” he said, hoping to appease his mother and her partner in crime.

“Yes, we are.” Leia said, laughing. “But we wouldn’t blame you Ben, everyone around here likes Rey. She’s a bit rough around the edges, but a good kid. Beautiful, too.”

Kylo refused to agree out loud.

“Why don’t you ask her out, Ben? There’s not a lot of guys her age around here. When was the last time you went out on a date?” Chewie asked. 

Great, now even Chewie was joining their team. 

“Can we talk about something else?” Kylo asked. “I won’t be in town for long anyway, so I don’t see any reason to date anyone here.”

Leia’s smile vanished. Maz looked over at Chewie, and a sad look passed between them. Whereas they had all been teasing and chatting a minute ago, they were all now very quiet.

“So how long do you think you’ll be here, Benjamin?” Maz asked quietly. Kylo knew he was in trouble when she used his full name. He looked over to his mother, but she was looking at a spot across the room with an unreadable expression.

“I… I don’t know” he answered, sighing and combing his fingers through his hair. “I can stay a while,” he mumbled into his hands, “but I don’t belong here. And I won’t let myself get trapped here.”

“Is that what we are to you, a trap?”

“No! I just- look- you know that there’s nothing for me here. I’ve never belonged. You all don’t know what I went through, and don’t pretend like you were always there for me.” he said with a harsh tone. He could feel the blood rushing to his head, and the muscles in his back twitch. His anger was coming very, very quickly this time.

“You all are pretending like everything is ok- it’s not. Me being here doesn’t mean I forgive you. You don’t know me, you never have.”

“The way I see it-” Maz began to respond.

“No- you never listened! Any of you!” Kylo interrupted. “You all sent me off to Luke instead of helping me, and he cared even less.” 

His blood was boiling now, being fueled by all of the memories of his teen years. How Han’s eyes had been riddled with disappointment, when would Leia would get too stressed to even look at him. Luke’s tired sighs at his angry outbursts. Flashes of the pain he had long since stored away deep in his heart came racing back. He had never actually unloaded this to Leia, Maz, or Chewie. He had just internalized everything when he cut himself off from them.

“You didn’t even care when I left! Han sure as hell didn’t!”  
He was yelling now. His mom was crying, still looking into the corner of the room.

“I put myself through school without your help- financial or otherwise! Why am I even here for you? It’s not like you would do the same for me!”  
His attack was now focused solely on Leia.

“You know that’s not true, Ben Solo.” Maz said with conviction, as Leia was still silent, looking away, tears streaming down her face. 

“I think you should take a walk, Ben.” Chewie said sternly, standing to extend his height over Kylo’s. Kylo hadn’t even realized he had gotten out of his chair. 

Kylo took a breath. “I can’t stay in a town where I’m bombarded with foul memories.” he said, now looking at Maz. “Nothing good ever happened to me here. And I won’t let anything suck me back in, especially you all.”

With that, he stormed out of the house.


	9. Conceding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo both surrender- admitting their problems. And they fall more deeply into each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally starting to earn that rating, eh? As always, thanks for the support. Y'all are the best.

Kylo got in late that night. He had walked the entire circumference of Maz and Chewie’s farm after storming out, cursing under his breath, the heat of his anger vaporizing the moisture on his skin to steam. He kicked the rotten portions of the fence, feeling power surge in and out of him. He was slightly more in control of his anger these days- at least trying to limit it to non-valuable objects. But he had been holding it all in for a week since he moved back in with Leia- apparently that was too long.

After an hour, he gathered the sense to pull out his phone. He texted Maz to tell Leia that the car keys were still on their counter, and she should just drive home without him, that he would walk home.

He made his way through the back roads, taking the long way home. He relived every painful memory of his childhood and his years with Luke, and every soul-splitting moment of leaving his family. Even the gravel beneath his feet reminded him of sitting out in his parents’ driveway, waiting for Han to come home. Stupid gravel, stupid town. There wasn’t anything wrong with the town itself, he supposed, it was like any other rural town. It had it’s local drama, but nothing truly bad ever happened here. It seemed as though the darkness surrounded solely his family- Han, Leia, Maz, Chewie, and himself. The early years were ok- his family was happy. They lived simple lives, making up for all their years in high-stakes careers. They were content, they never let the little things bother them. At least nothing that they shared with Kylo. But everything had been cast in a gloomy hue. Eventually Kylo had stopped finding joy in things he had previously loved, and every conversation with his family turned into a screaming match.

He pictured the four of them together- his parents and Maz and Chewie. They always got along… the rest of them loved each other. It was _him_ that the problems seemed to surround. He shuddered- maybe he was the poison that spoiled the life they had carved for themselves. Is that why his parents stopped trying? Did they _want_ him to leave?

He woke up the next morning exhausted. He could never sleep in even when he tried. His head hurt, and his legs were sore from stomping angrily home.

He needed to get out of the house, hopefully avoiding Leia in the process. He wasn’t ready to talk to her.

Where would he go? He thought about the quiet places around, he definitely wasn’t going anywhere near downtown. There’s no telling what he would do if someone tried to talk to him. He considered going for a drive around the state, or to the ocean, but didn’t trust himself to not be subject to road rage if someone accidentally cut him off.

He thought about the edges of town. He could probably walk around there without running into anyone. Then he thought about his jog the other day. The soccer field at the high school- that’s where he had run into Rey. She had said she went there every morning…

Kylo hopped out of bed before he could change his mind. Maybe seeing her would cheer him up. He had certainly laughed more in the past week around her than in the past few years combined. If he improved his mood, he may stand a chance to talk to Leia without blowing his lid again. Playing soccer might also let him release some stress.

Thankfully, Leia was still in bed as Kylo made his way downstairs quietly. And she had left his car keys in plain sight on the dining room table. He grabbed his keys and headed over to the school, letting his mind focus on the rumble of the engine, keeping his thoughts off of his family.

When he pulled up to the field, Rey wasn’t there. Didn’t she say she went there every morning? Maybe she was exaggerating, although that didn’t seem like her. _You don’t even know her_ , Kylo thought to himself. Maybe he’d stop by the shop. He pulled out of the school parking lot and drove a couple of blocks over. Getting out of his car, he looked up at the window of the loft above the garage. In it, he saw a few potted plants and tie-dye curtains. He couldn’t help but imagine what the inside of the loft looked like- it was probably warm, with signs of life all over- the exact opposite of his own apartment in Chicago. Rey really was his opposite in so many ways. Except for her toughness- he had a feeling she could take some shit. No one ages out of the foster system without a strong backbone.

Kylo next noticed that one of the garage doors was open. He hadn’t actually expected for the shop to be open yet, he had just kind of blindly hoped he’d run into her without waking her, it was still pretty early. Then again, what was he even doing here? She probably thinks of him as a stranger, would it be weird if he stopped by to chat? He didn’t even really want to talk. He had just pictured her smile and gotten in the car without any sort of plan.

He walked in, trying to look casual and like he happened to be in that part of town anyway. He didn’t see Rey at first. It took two scans of the shop before he spotted her. She had a hood of a car open, hands deep inside. But something was wrong- she was crying. Tears were streaming down her face as she ripped components out of the car. Her hair was down- Kylo had never seen it out of her buns. 

Kylo froze. He suddenly felt like he was intruding. Maybe he should try to slowly back out of the shop without interrupting her. He knew that the last person he would want to see if he was crying was some stranger.

But he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t walk away. Not when his heart was pulling him toward Rey. He wanted to help, he wanted to know what was upsetting her- and see if it was the same thing that had clearly been bothering her since Thursday. He didn’t normally feel obligated to help people with their issues. He had his own to deal with, and no one had ever helped him. But seeing Rey’s normally bright eyes stricken with grief made a lump form in his throat. He had to talk to her.

“Rey?” he said quietly, trying not to startle her.

Rey’s head whipped up anyway, almost hitting the open hood of the car.

“Kylo!” she said with shock. Her eyes widened. She furiously wiped her eyes with her sleeves- she was wearing an oil-stained grey sweatshirt that looked like it had seen better years. She rubbed her hands on her jeans, walking toward him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was driving by and I just wanted to stop by to… look, are you ok?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Ignore me.” she responded.

“No,” Kylo said firmly, “I can’t ignore it… What’s wrong?”

Rey’s mouth tightened, and her eyes swelled again with tears. Oh no, he hadn’t meant to make her cry. He hadn’t meant to take a firm tone, he was trying to be nice.

“Why do you care?” she asked, tears building up, on the verge of spilling over. She had encircled herself with her arms. Kylo recognized the stance- she was trying to protect herself. The question could have been heard as accusatory, but her tone suggested she was genuinely curious.

“I’m not sure.” Kylo answered truthfully. “All I know is that you’ve been upset for the past few days, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that alone. You especially don’t deserve that.”

At that moment, Rey’s tears released. She let out a small sob, clearly trying to hold herself together. 

Kylo couldn’t handle it- watching her cry was destroying him. He slowly reached out a hand to her shoulder, knowing sudden contact might scare her in this state. He never liked to be touched, especially when he was breaking down himself. He guided her toward the old couch in the corner of the shop, sitting them down.

“If you tell me what’s wrong, maybe I’ll be able to help” he offered, still not sure if she was going to tell him, or if he’d be good at listening. He’d never really tried to help someone like this before.

She peeled her eyes away from the floor, where she had been looking. She looked into Kylo’s, searching his in a way that made him felt like he was being read by her, as if he was an open book and she could read every word. 

She slowly uncrossed her arms from around her body, then again wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. She took a couple of deep breaths, training her focus to a spot across the shop. Kylo tried to be patient, waiting for her to speak. He had always hated when people tried to rush him when he was regaining control after an angry outburst.

“I don’t really have anyone” she started. “I don’t really have anyone in my life.” She paused again.

“I only have one friend- Finn,” she said, “the guy you met here at the shop earlier this week.”

“Mm” Kylo acknowledged, not wanting to interrupt. She still wasn’t looking at him. Maybe that’s how she could get herself through this.

“I only have one person in my life, and he’s being used as leverage against me.”

So someone was using Finn against her? What does that mean?

“I’m scared” Rey added, her voice cracking. Kylo couldn’t help it. His hand shot out before he could stop it, putting it on her arm.

She turned, looking down at his hand, then up to his face. God, her eyes were so beautiful. Even when red from crying.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Kylo said, trying hard to keep his voice from shaking too. 

“Someone threatened me with his safety” she continued anyway, this time looking Kylo in the eyes. “And I’m so worried for him. I can’t tell him, he’d never let me keep him safe. He’d sacrifice his own happiness, and I can’t let him do that.”

“How are you keeping him safe- what are they making you do?” Kylo asked. He was instantly furious at the thought of someone hurting her, but needed to stay calm, for her. 

Rey suddenly laughed, choking on her own tears. She looked away from him. “It’s so stupid. All I have to do is stay in this town. So basically nothing. I should be fine with this- it shouldn’t even matter to me. Finn’s happiness and safety is worth way more than that.”

“That’s not nothing, Rey. You told me the other day you didn’t want to stay here- that you wanted to go to university, to travel. That’s your _life_.”

She looked back at him, the corners of her mouth turning down. “Maybe I’m not meant for _that_ type of life. Maybe I’m meant to stay in place. Maybe I’m meant to scavenge together a life here, and hope that it’s enough.”

Kylo’s stomach sank. How could she think that? How could she think that’s what she deserves? He had only known her a few days, but her potential for a full life was blinding in its brightness. She could have the type of happy life he could only dream of. He refused to let her think otherwise.

“No Rey, that’s not enough. No one should be allowed to strip away your freedom. Who is threatening you? Have you reported this to the police?”

“No!” she said quickly, grasping the hand that was on her arm with hers. Kylo loved how warm her hands always were, they felt amazing against his own cold skin. Despite being stained with oil and rough with callouses, they were perfect to him.

“The person who’s threatening me has connections- powerful connections. I can’t risk telling anyone. They may have people on the inside- I could be jeopardizing Finn’s safety. Please Kylo, don’t tell anyone. I can work this out on my own” she said, desperately squeezing his hand to emphasize her earnestness.

“Ok, ok,” Kylo said, wrapping his other hand around hers, “I promise I won’t tell anyone. But I can’t promise that I won’t try to help you, if I can.”

“Thank you,” Rey whispered. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me.” 

“I…” he couldn’t say the real reason he was being so nice. That he was attracted to her. And not just physically. He looked down at his lap. “I just wish I had someone there for me when I needed help.” This wasn’t untrue.

“Do you not have someone?” she asked, voice quiet and gentle.

“No” he admitted, wishing that this conversation had not turned to him.

“Kylo...” Rey whispered, pulling his hands that were grasping hers towards her. He looked back up at her face. Her eyes were an explosion of color, brown and green in a sunburst pattern. Her eyelashes clumped together from her tears. Her lips were swollen from chewing on them. Her eyelids were lowered, her gaze wandering between his neck and his eyes. Her smooth skin was still glowing despite all of the crying. Her freckles formed constellations on her cheeks, illuminated by the sun coming through the shop window. Her hair was soft and wavy, little tendrils sticking out around her face. There was no one more beautiful.

She was leaning towards him. What was happening? Kylo felt her hands shake in his as she grasped them tighter. Was she… was she leaning her face toward his? He could now feel her breath on his lips, she was so close…

Kylo stood up, wrenching his hands from hers. She was still sitting, now looking at him with wide eyes. Had she really been about to kiss him? Or had he imagined it? He couldn’t do that- couldn’t take advantage of her when she was so upset, so vulnerable. He didn’t mind preying on the weak- but not in this way. Not when his own emotions were involved. He couldn’t offer her what she wanted- comfort. That’s how he had been dealing with his issues- sleeping with some random girl in an attempt to forget the pain. It never fixed anything. As much as he wanted her, he wasn’t going to help Rey fall down the same path. She was stronger than him.

She looked hurt now. Damn it. He was an asshole. Before he could apologize, she stood. She cleared her throat and began pulling her hair into her three buns. 

“Thanks for listening, sorry for unloading that on you. I bet you didn’t expect to deal with a mess when you stopped by.”

“Rey,” Kylo said, approaching her as she finished her buns, “I meant what I said.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. She was so much shorter than him. “I want to help you. And you already told me, so you can’t say no” he added, letting a small smirk form.

“Thanks,” she said, seeming to resign and accept his offer of help.

“Is there anything I can do for you now?”

“No, I just need more time to think and process” she responded, a small, sad smile forming. He gently rubbed her shoulders. She didn’t deserve this. She was tough, but she was too good of a person to have to deal with this.

“Kylo?”

“Yes?”

“I want to help you too. I don’t know what you’re dealing with, but I can tell that something is wrong with you too. And don’t pretend otherwise. I _see_ you.”

Kylo’s hands stopped rubbing her shoulders. Was he that transparent? Or was she just able to look back into him the same way he looked into her? God, now he was about to cry. When did he become such a sap? She had some sort of magical power over him.

“Ok.”

He couldn’t think of what else to say, and he didn’t need to say anything else. He gently pulled on her shoulders, seeing if she would let him hug her. He didn’t like hugging people, or really any type of contact- it made him feel exposed to them. But he wanted to be exposed to Rey. He wanted her to _see_ him, although he knew she wouldn’t like what she saw.

She let him pull her closer. She brought her arms up to wrap her arms around his stomach like she had the other day on the soccer field. But this time, he was able to wrap his own around her shoulders, pulling her face into his chest. He could have stayed there forever. Instead, he gathered all of his willpower to break the hug after a few moments. He didn’t want to scare her off. He had to leave before he lost control.

“I’ll let you get back to work,” he said. “Please tell me if something happens you feel unsafe. I’m leaving my number here.” He didn’t leave any space in his tone to argue. He walked over to the desk and scribbled his number on a spare scrap of paper. 

Rey was still standing in the same spot when he turned around. Her arms were back to holding herself. “Kylo... you’re a good person.” she said.

No he wasn’t. He knew that, his family knew that, his coworkers knew that. The girls he slept with knew that. His therapist in Chicago that he didn’t see enough knew that.

“I’m not,” he replied, his voice deep, “but maybe I should try to be.”

“You don’t have to be a perfect person to be a good friend” Rey said. “I would know.”

“Are you saying we’re friends?” he asked, he couldn’t stop the left corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk again.

Rey smiled. “Don’t get cocky, buddy. You’re nice, but friends don’t make fun of other friends’ hairstyles” she said, smirking. “You don’t hear me making fun of your abnormally long Fabio hair.”

Kylo chuckled. Her wit had bounced back quickly- he loved that about her. “The hair is so you don’t make fun of my ears.” he said truthfully. “Not everyone has perfect features like you.”

“Kylo Ren, flattery will not earn you friend points.” she countered, walking toward him, still smiling. “Now go take your giant ears somewhere else- I really do need to finish Mr. Ackbar’s car!”

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Rey spent the rest of the day replaying her conversation with Kylo. It had been a roller coaster of emotions. He had walked in when she was crying- no one had ever seen her cry before, she had made sure of that. He must think she’s some weak, girly crybaby. Which she wasn’t. She had always been the toughest girl she knew, unwilling and unable to back down from a fight, never letting anyone walk all over her. _Except for Plutt_ , she thought with a shiver.

He had insisted that he wanted to help her. When was the last time anyone besides Finn had cared so much? She couldn’t help it. She had broken down and told him everything. Well, not everything. She still didn’t know him well, she didn’t know if she could trust him with the details. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw truth. She had always been good at reading people, it was a necessary skill for a foster kid- people were always trying to cheat you. There was something about him that told her he was trustworthy. Dark, serious, and a bit angry at times, but trustworthy. And she could deal with anger- she wasn’t exactly a pacifist herself.

When he told her that he too didn’t have anyone to lean on, her body acted on its own. She had wanted him closer- his body, his mind. Was he as lonely as her? She wanted everything he had closer to her. She had leaned into him. Would she have actually kissed him? She wanted to believe that she wouldn’t, but her gut feeling said that she would have if he had let her.

He had jumped up. Of course he had. She probably came off as crazy- crying and spilling her secrets to him him, then trying to kiss him despite knowing him only a few days. Rey had always thought that she wasn’t easily embarrassed, but her own actions as of late were starting to debunk that belief. 

Thankfully, he saved the situation from getting too awkward. He was nice- no matter how he tried to argue that fact. Even with Leia, she could tell that he wanted to be nice to her. When he wasn’t funny or joking around, he was intimidating, and forceful, and grim- but Rey could see past it. She wondered what was _really_ wrong with him, this thing that made him seem like he was far away sometimes, this thing that looked like a shadow lurking behind his eyes.

“Hey babe!” Finn’s voice rang out as the shop door opened, breaking her from train of thought. Was it after 5 already? Where had the day gone?

“Hi Finn!” she greeted him cheerfully. “How was work? Any news on your one true love?” she asked, referring to his new coworker, some guy from downstate named Poe.

“Reyyyy” he whined playfully, coming up to her and pulling her into a hug. Two hugs in one day, the old Rey would have been repulsed. The new Rey didn’t mind it, maybe even liked it.

“He’s not my one true love yet.” Finn said, letting her go. “But I _am_ 100% sure he’s gay now.”

“What gave him away?”

“We were talking at lunch and he said he was engaged a while ago before breaking it off. With a guy.”

“Well that’ll do it!” Rey said. “You should go for it. From what you’ve told me so far, he seems really nice. Which means even if you get turned down, the world probably won’t end.”

Rey’s stomach loudly growled, causing Finn to erupt in laughter.

“You are never not hungry!”

“I forgot to each lunch today! I got… distracted.” Rey said. Maybe she should ask Finn for advice. He always told her about his love life, always asked for her opinion. Maybe that’s what friendship was about, letting yourself lean on other people.

“Actually, there’s something I want your advice on. How about I make us some dinner and we can talk?”

“Sounds good- as long as it’s not any of that dry English food you used to push on me.”

“Hey!” Rey said, smacking him with a rag. “I know I’m not the best cook in the world, but don’t go hating on English food! One day I’m going to go back, and I’m taking you with me.”

She bounded up the stairs to the loft with Finn close behind.

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Rey laid in bed later, thinking about Kylo. She told Finn how she felt about him. There was no doubt he was hot, Finn had actually been the first one between them to say that. But she told him about when they had run into each other on the soccer field, how she immediately felt open to him. How she immediately felt like she could tell him anything. She told him how she had barely kept it together when Kylo had gotten close to her in his bedroom, and how they had a heart-to-heart earlier that day in the shop.

“He always seems so serious… you’re telling me he’s funny?” Finn has asked.

“Yeah, when he’s not being all mysterious and brooding.” Rey responded with a laugh.

“And you’re saying that he’s actually nice? You’re the one who told me the story when I first moved here of Han and Leia’s evil son who walked out on his innocent family.”

“I never actually knew him, Finn. He left before I moved here. I was just repeating what other people had told me. I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to him-I don’t think anyone has actually asked for his side of the story.”

“Wow, you’re really trying to figure this guy out.” Finn said.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” she realized, letting out a sigh. 

“Just be careful, ok? I don’t want you getting hurt.” Finn said, worry painted across his face.

Rey smiled back at him. “I will. Besides, he’ll probably be gone soon. I should probably just keep to myself.”

Finn let out a sigh of his own. “As much as I don’t trust him yet, and as much as I want you to be careful, I also think you shouldn’t stop trying to figure him out. Rey, you deserve to be happy. It sounds like you really like him. Maybe this is your chance.”

“You really think so?”

“I think you won’t know unless you try. I told you the very first time we met him that he was ogling you. Maybe he feels the same way. It’s ok to like someone, Rey. You’re an adult. You don’t have to keep yourself away from everyone anymore. You’re allowed to _feel_.”

Rey couldn’t forget his words as she laid in bed that night.. Was she really allowed to feel? Wouldn’t she get hurt in the process?

She closed her eyes, willing herself to just _feel_ , without any limitations. She thought about Kylo. His tall build, his dark, glowing eyes. She could see the galaxy in his eyes, a whole wealth of emotion that he never let show. She imagined his arms around her, like they had been this morning. She imagined his body against hers, hard but comforting. How would he hold her? How would his hands run over her body? She wanted him innocently, but she also wanted him in ways that left her blushing.

She snuck a hand into her pajamas and under her panties. Normally, when she needed to do this, she had to use porn to help. She had never had a real-life inspiration. But when she imagined Kylo’s chest pushed up against hers and how his hands would feel going down her back, she was plenty inspired. She grazed herself with her palm, she was already wet enough to make quick work of herself. She grasped the sheets on one side of her and started gently exploring. She slowly rubbed her clit, imaging Kylo’s hands against her skin. His hands were always cold, it felt like ice against her- but like ice on a summer day, satisfying and sensual. She started to intensify her motions, feeling Kylo’s breath on her neck. Would he bite her? She imagined him as someone who liked to bite. Her back arched as she slipped two fingers inside of her, her walls clamping down immediately. It usually took a bit of work to get herself off, and sometimes it would totally evade her. Tonight, however, was different. She imagined Kylo on top of her as she pumped her fingers in and out. She imagined wrapping her legs around his waist as he took her. Would he go slow with her? She had never slept with anyone. Maybe he’d be rough, he was an intimidating guy. And he was huge. Rey let out an involuntary moan when she realized how big he must be. She pictured him working his way into her, leaving her completely full of him. She thought about his long hair brushing her face as he looked down at her, and thought about licking his chest, those muscles he was hiding under his shirt. She was now frantically thrusting into her own fingers, rubbing her clit with her thumb, getting dangerously close. She heard his low voice in her ear, saying her name. ‘ _Rey_ ’. She came, moaning and arching her back even further off of her bed.

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Kylo had taken his time after leaving the shop. He drove around town a few times, digesting what Rey had said. Was he really a nice person? Or a good friend? He severely doubted it.

But for once, he thought that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he was. If it brought him closer to someone like Rey, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. His anger was tiring. Most days, he could handle it. But some days, it was debilitating, draining him into a cold, cruel shell of himself. When had he given up hope? 

He found himself driving back toward the house. He knew he needed to apologize to Leia when she got home from work. He was supposed to be helping her, helping her get her life back. He suddenly felt very guilty. He had yelled at her for something that had happened years ago. She had been nothing but sweet since he arrived… he should have just shut his mouth, he should have just accepted the present and let the past wash away.

As he pulled up, Leia came scrambling out of the house. She was still in her robe. Her hair wasn’t done, and she was wearing mismatched socks. She ran across the yard anyway, shoeless.

“Mom? Why aren’t you at work?” he asked as he got out of the car.

She rushed toward him, and didn’t stop until she bombarded him with a hug so tight only Leia could give.

“I thought you had left.” she said into him, her voice shaking. “I saw your car was gone and I thought you had left.”

“Oh, no, Mom...” Kylo said. He couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her tightly. He suddenly realized- she felt as alone as he did. Kylo had left her, Han had died. She still had Maz and Chewie, but she was alone in that house, every day. 

“I’m sorry.” he said, his voice cracking. He couldn’t help it now- he really did feel sorry. He felt himself fill with regret. Even if they were shitty parents, Kylo shouldn’t have given up. Maybe they did have their own issues. Maybe he had been too focused on his own to notice. Maybe he had been selfish, or not observant enough, or blinded by his own rage. His mother was in his arms, trembling, and it was all his fault.

“Mom,” Kylo said, rubbing her back with his hands, “I need... help.”

Leia pulled back with shock on her face, but she refused to let go of him.

“Anything, Ben, anything.”

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be angry with you anymore, with anyone. I think it’s slowly killing me” he admitted, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Sweetie,” Leia said, voice still shaking, her hands making their way to cup his face, “let go. Let everything go. I think you’re halfway there. Just by coming here, staying with me, it’s like I can see you again.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Kylo knew she was right. He hadn’t been the same since Han died. Not truly.

“But this will probably take time, Ben” she added. “You’ve been drowning in anger for so long, it might take a while for you to be able to breathe again.”

Kylo remained quiet, listening to her for once. Her hands felt so small and fragile on his face, but he knew Leia was once one of the most respected military officers of all time before he was born- maybe he should let her take charge.

“Please tell me what to do” he whispered.


	10. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo lets Leia work on him, and Rey gets some advice from some old friends. These two souls are reaching similar points in their life- will they let themselves fall into eachother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, everyone. And guess what? We finally get some real Reylo action next chapter ;]

Kylo hadn’t come by the shop since their encounter when Rey had foolishly spilled her soul to him earlier in the week. She hadn’t run into him in town, and he hadn’t come out to the soccer field again like she was hoping. Maybe she had scared him off? He had seemed so genuine when he told her that he would be there for her. Maybe he had just meant if something went wrong, not all the time. That was probably it. _Stupid_ she told herself. He didn’t actually want to be around her, he was just being nice to a crying girl. She suddenly felt embarrassed about getting off to the thought of him. It sort of felt like she was violating him. 

But he had asked if they were friends, with a hopeful look in his eye. She had wanted to say yes, she wanted to have him near, she wanted to ask him to never leave. But she had joked it off, trying to play it cool. But the truth was, no one seemed to get her as quickly like he did, even Finn. Maybe everyone felt that way with him, though. Maybe she’s just one of many girls who thought there was something between them, him blissfully ignorant and unaffected. Regardless, it would be nice to have another friend, even if he was just going to leave her like everyone else. Maybe sometimes the pain was worth it.

She looked at the scrap of paper over on the desk- the one with his number on it. Maybe she could text him, something casual, just asking what he was up to. No, that would seem clingy. And she was the least clingy person in existence, normally. She only needed herself.

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Kylo was exhausted. Finally putting in the effort to retrain his brain to let go of anger was like going into withdrawal. It was like he didn’t know how to function without it. He slept several times a day, always with a headache. And instead of anger, deep sadness took over. He saw a therapist in Chicago for rage and depression, but he had never really truly felt the depression aspect of it until now. He arranged a Skype meeting with her, telling her everything about the past week. She was surprised, Kylo had never made an attempt to contact her before- she usually had to scold him to make appointments, and she usually had to pry things out of him. But now he told her everything, tired of holding back. He had finally realized that he didn’t have to guard everything so tightly, that there were some people who really did just want to help. Rey had helped him see that. She mostly listened during their first Skype appointment, just letting Kylo unload. At the end, she told him she was proud of him, and that they should continue their Skype appointments at least once a week while he was in Maine. Kylo agreed.

Leia made him meditate with her- a practice she had picked up from her brother. Luke had tried to make him meditate all of those years ago, but Kylo had resisted with every fiber of his being. Now, after grumbling for a few minutes as his mom adjusted his posture, he had to admit that he rather liked it. When he got it right, he felt light, he felt free. Emptying the guilt and hatred from his body, even if just for a few minutes, made him feel weightless. He decided that he should probably just submit to whatever crazy plan she had for him- he _had_ asked for her help. 

He only put in a few hours a day of work for the firm- he had enough vacation days saved up that it wasn’t a concern if he took some time off. He went for hard runs around town to tire himself out, ignoring the glares from the passersby, blasting classic rock through his headphones. He even faced his fear of going into Han’s pole barn, as there was a punching bag in there he could use. He didn’t look at the cars, he shielded his eyes from them as he made his way to the back of the barn where the punching bag and rack of weights were. He wasn’t ready for that quite yet. The exercise, as always, definitely helped him. Instead of imagining the punching bag as one of his annoying coworkers, he tried to just punch along with the rhythm of the music he listened to, making it more of a dance than anything.

Maz and Chewie brought over fresh cinnamon buns that Chewie made from scratch. He had always enjoyed making fun of Leia’s old hairstyle from the ‘70s and ‘80s. They treated Kylo as if nothing had happened, which he was very thankful for- he couldn’t get into everything with them yet. Leia had already gone to them and told them everything. Since he wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet, they didn’t pressure him. Chewie played Kylo in a few rounds of pool in the basement, and Kylo let Maz tell him all of the town gossip. They asked if he had talked to Rey again, they hadn’t seen her in a while. They told him they loved him, which Kylo had never really believed before, and told him that he didn’t have to come to Sunday dinner unless he really wanted to, unless he was ready. That they wouldn’t be mad, they just wanted him happy. It wasn’t easy- there were still times when certain words would spark a small flame within him. But he was surprised at how quickly it would dissipate if he let it, if he didn’t feed it.

On Friday, Leia even made Kylo sit down for one of her Skype video calls with Luke, who was currently living in God-knows-where, Brazil. Some sort of ‘sanctuary’ he called it. Kylo didn’t say much. He let Leia do the talking. She told Luke exactly what Kylo had told her, careful not to put anything in his mouth that he hadn’t explicitly said. Luke was quiet for a moment, Kylo recognized the contemplative look on his face. His expression had always been placid, but Luke had always thought more deeply than anyone Kylo knew. They remained quiet while Luke thought.

“Mm.” Luke had said, pausing for another minute again. “I recommend ginger tea.”

Kylo and Leia looked at each other.

“Isn’t that for digestive health?” Leia asked.

“Yes. But trust me, it’s a lot easier to let go of anger with clear bowels.”

No one said anything.

Then Leia burst into laughter. Luke smiled. Kylo had forgotten how funny his uncle could be. He couldn’t help it- a choke of laughter bubbled up behind his clenched jaw, resulting in him snorting. When was the last time he laughed with his family? He honestly couldn’t remember.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday had rolled around again. The last time Rey had seen Kylo was much earlier in the week on Monday, when she had cried, broke down, and tried to kiss him although he was clearly uninterested. She wouldn’t blame him if he was avoiding her. But now she was headed back to Leia’s house to work on the basement plumbing. Would he be there? Would he want to talk about what happened on Monday? She hoped he hadn’t completely changed his mind about being friends. If anything, she could at least use another friend. That would bring her up to two, which was two more than her average over the past 20 years.

She pulled up her bike, chaining it to Leia’s fence. As she approached the house, the front door swung open, revealing a beaming Leia. Rey smiled, she admired how Leia always had a strong sense of spirit and optimism, even after losing her husband.

“Rey, I’m so glad you’re here!” she said, practically dragging her into the house. “Before you start on the plumbing in the basement, there’s something I want to talk to you about. And Ben, too.”

“Ben!” she yelled up the staircase.

“Yeah?” Kylo appeared at the top of the stairs, running a towel through his wet hair. 

He must have just gotten out of the shower. As usual, he was wearing black jeans and a black shirt. Rey almost giggled when she noticed his orange socks. It definitely detracted from his whole “bad boy” image. But her smile vanished when she thought about where he would have been if she had arrived 5 minutes earlier. In the shower. Naked. With water running down his chest… Was she objectifying him? She looked away to avoid any eye contact. 

He shuffled down the stairs. 

“Hey, Rey” he said with a smile. Rey had never seen him smile when it wasn’t in the form of a smirk or in the process of teasing her. It was weird.

“Hi” she responded timidly.

Leia looked between them for a moment before speaking.

“Let’s sit in the living room, I want to propose something to you. Ben, you too” she said, leading the way.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Rey and Leia took a seat on the couch, which only left Han’s armchair for Kylo to sit in, which Leia didn’t seem to notice. He reluctantly took a seat. He wanted to talk to Rey about what she had told him on Monday, to ask if she was alright. He was worried about her- he had sort of dropped of the grid during the week, mostly sleeping and following Leia’s instructions. He felt bad that he had told her that he wanted to help her but then disappeared for a few days.

“Now,” Leia continued, turning toward Rey, “as you know, Han has quite a few old cars out in the pole barn. He loved working on them, but there were always too many for him to finish! I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with them since he passed. I want to keep a few of his favorites for memories’ sake, and I was also hoping that maybe Ben would take one… to remember his father by…” her voice trailed off. She turned her head in Kylo’s direction, but didn’t bring her eyes to meet his.

Really? She was bringing this up in front of Rey? Couldn’t she have talked to him about this in private? Kylo felt his blood boil, he dug his fingernails into his palms, trying to keep himself from exploding in front of Rey. Of course he didn’t want one of Han’s cars. Why would he? To remind him every day of how fucked up their relationship was? How Kylo had left and never answered Han’s calls again? How Han had died without hearing from his son in years? Was this some sort of test, to see if he would blow up again?

He closed his eyes. This is the type of anger that didn’t help anyone, least of all him. He took a deep breath and tried to release the tension in each finger one by one- something he had learned from a Youtube video on stress relief. After a few seconds, he reopened his eyes.

By this time, Leia and Rey were both looking at him. Leia with fear, and Rey with curiosity. Leia knew how to interpret Kylo’s expression, but Rey had never seen him on the cusp of combusting with rage. He stood up, choosing to pace around the living room to distract his mind. He realized that Leia probably wasn’t intentionally baiting him- she probably didn’t realize how this would make him feel. That’s something his therapist had suggested in their second Skype call. It was exhausting, trying to purposefully change the way he interpreted situations.

“Anyway,” Leia continued, seeming to let out a breath she was holding in anticipation of an outburst from Kylo, “I am planning on just selling the crappier cars, but I was hoping I could hire you to work on the nicer ones I’d like to keep. I’d like to hire you privately- not through Plutt. Han’s tools are all still in the barn, so you’d have everything you need here to work on them.”

Kylo watched as Rey looked at Leia in awe. Of course, she probably knew about Han’s collection. He had been an autocross racer before Kylo was born, and never ceased to love fixing up and driving cars. And he could tell that Leia had just offered Rey her dream job. She looked like she was about to burst out in shouts of joy, but her expression changed, and a look of confusion formed on her features.

“Privately?” she repeated. 

“Yes,” Leia responded, seeming to struggle for the right words, “since we have all of the equipment and tools here I don’t see a need to use any of Plutt’s resources, so I could just pay you directly.”

Kylo realized what she meant. Leia knew that Plutt cut a lot off of the top of his profits before paying Rey her fair share. If she hired her privately, she’d be sure Rey would be paid well. Kylo had never felt more grateful to his mother in his life.

Rey looked suspicious- she had probably figured out Leia’s true intentions. Kylo knew she was very perceptive. But her expression softened, and accepted the offer.

“I would love to help. For me, because you know I can’t keep my hands off of some sweet classic cars, but also for you. And Han” she said, eyes sparkling.

“I’ll help too” Kylo said suddenly.

Both Leia and Rey looked over at him in confusion. He knew that a minute ago, he must of looked like he was about to punch holes in the wall at the mere mention of Han’s cars. He knew why he was offering- he wanted to be close to Rey. He selfishly wanted to be near her every minute. She was like an ocean breeze, cooling him off, and he wanted to stand on her shore as much as he could.

Leia was the first to ask- “Really?”

“Yes… I don’t know… maybe. I’ll think about it.” Now that he was thinking it through, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. He could barely say his father’s name- much less spend hours working in his garage, on his cars that he loved so much, more than his own son.

“Your father would have loved it if you worked on his cars, honey” Leia said quietly. He knew she was trying to avoid upsetting him again.

“I know” he said with a sigh, hanging his head, falling back into the chair. Maybe he should do it. Maybe this could be his way of apologizing, even if Han wasn’t around to forgive him.

“I can always use an extra set of hands, especially with a whole bunch of cars” Rey said, also keeping her voice low. He could tell that she was trying to help, but didn’t exactly know what to say in this situation.

“I’m afraid I don’t remember much- I stopped helping with the cars pretty young” Kylo admitted, folding his hands together, looking into her eyes.

“Sounds like you need a teacher” she responded with a grin.

“That would be just perfect,” Leia said, wrapping her arm around Rey’s shoulders, “there’s no rush to start right away, dear, I’d like to finish up the basement first.”

“Sure!” Rey said, turning back to Leia. “Why don’t you show me what’s going on down there?”

Kylo watched as Leia led Rey to the basement stairs. He could go with them, but he needed some time to process. He willed his shoulders to relax again and leaned back in the chair. What did he just get himself into? 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The plumbing issues in Leia and Kylo’s basement had taken all afternoon and most of the evening. Leia had tried to make her stop several times, telling her that she didn’t need to work herself into the ground. But plumbing jobs were best done in a straight shot- Rey insisted that she wanted to finish within the day. Leia had brought her down water, lemonade, and cookies several times. Rey had laughed- she was always hungry but Leia’s hospitality was totally unnecessary- she was going to get a stomachache from all of the sugar. Around 6pm, Kylo had brought down some dinner. It was a piping hot plate of grilled salmon, broccoli, and roasted potatoes. He apologized that he hadn’t asked if she liked cilantro beforehand- the potatoes were covered with it.

“It’s a polarizing herb” he had explained.

“Did you make all this?” Rey asked incredulously, grabbing the plate he extended.

Kylo had stiffened. “Yes, is there something else you would prefer?”

“No!” Rey practically shouted, instinctively pulling the plate closer to her. “I just didn’t know you cooked so well! I’d get _so_ fat if I lived with you.” She blushed, had she really just pseudo-implied that she imagined them living together? Smooth, Rey. She stuffed a giant forkful of potatoes in her mouth. She groaned. She needed to learn how to cook better.

Kylo chuckled. “Well you’re welcome to come over for dinner anytime. Leia would love it if you did.”

Rey looked back up at him. Was _he_ inviting her? Or just inviting her on behalf of Leia?

“Thanks” she mumbled around her mouthful of food, little bits of potato flying out. Whatever, she knew she wasn’t the most elegant eater. As long as the food got in her belly, manners had never mattered much to her. She wanted to say more, but figured spraying his food all over the place might not be the most attractive thing she could do.

Kylo had nodded and turned back toward the stairs. Suddenly, he turned back around.

“Rey?”

She swallowed her mouthful of food. “Yes?”

“Are you ok? What we talked about on Monday…”

“Oh, I’m fine for now. Still thinking about it. I don’t think anyone is in immediate danger. I’m sorry if I freaked you out.” she responded guiltily.

“You didn’t freak me out, I’m just worried.” Kylo responded in his low voice. How did anyone talk to him without getting goosebumps? He worked his hands through his hair. “And I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch since then. Busy week. I wanted to call you, but I realized that I left you my phone number without getting yours.”

So he hadn’t been purposefully ignoring her. That sent butterflies to Rey’s stomach. 

“Well we can fix that,” Rey said with a smile.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Later, Rey found herself loaded with hundreds of questions as she biked away from Leia and Kylo’s. She could go to Finn about the Kylo stuff, but he didn’t really know him, so he probably wouldn’t be much help. And she certainly couldn’t talk to him about Plutt- she was going to keep that a secret, as she knew he would never let her do it for him. There was really only two people she could talk to.

She pulled up to Maz and Chewie’s farm. She always loved going there. She first met Chewie at the high school- he used to volunteer as the advisor for the Robotics Club. It was the only extracurricular Rey ever did- it was her and two guys who wouldn’t even speak to her, probably because she was a girl. She never needed to speak to them anyway- she always worked on her own projects, scavenging bits and pieces from Plutt’s shop and around town. Chewie was quiet, but had an amazing dry sense of humor. It reminded her of British humor. One day his wife came to visit him at the school, and she took to Rey right away. She invited her over for dinner often, always making sure to send her home with leftovers. Plutt never really fed her, just gave her barely enough money to scrap together some cheap meals. So Rey treasured each invite she got to the farm. Maz and Chewie had felt like the foster parents she could only dream of. But when Chewie got sick, she got fewer and fewer invites. She didn’t mind, she actually missed just hanging out with them more than the food. She made the effort to stop by when she could, bringing Maz flowers or making some sort of crude toy she made from car parts to show Chewie. He always got a kick out of that. She hadn’t been around much in the past two years. Their farm was on the opposite side of town from the shop, and the pair of them had slowed down considerably. Rey didn’t want to interrupt their peaceful days together now that Chewie was mostly better.

She stopped by the goat pen, petting her favorites. Then she went to the stable, wondering if their two horses would remember her. She never learned how to ride, but she always used to ask Maz if she could feed them. They seemed to remember her by her hands on their noses, her fingers combing through their manes. It was some of the only physical contact she had gotten before Finn had moved to town, introducing her to hugs.

She made her way to the door of the main house, knocking loudly. She immediately felt guilty. It was already getting dark- hopefully she wasn’t interrupting their dinner or sleep.

“Rey!” Maz shouted as she opened the door. “You are a sight for sore eyes! Come in, come in!”

“Hi Maz” Rey said, smiling. “Hi Chewie!” she shouted across the room, seeing him in his favorite armchair.

They spent hours catching up, sitting around the kitchen table. Maz still had some of Rey’s favorite English tea on hand, brewing cup after cup. She and Chewie listened as she caught them up with her life- which mostly consisted of working in the shop and hanging out with Finn. She swore them to secrecy before telling them about Plutt’s threats, keeping the details about Finn’s secret vague. She had promised she wouldn’t tell anyone about his Witness Protection plan. Maz’s eyes studied hers, and Chewie held her hand. She couldn’t stop. She kept going. She told them about everything she was feeling for Kylo. She knew they were close with Han and Leia, they must also have known Kylo before he left, known what he was like then and what he was like now. She told them about his offer to help her, and how she didn’t know how he could possibly help. She told them about her confusing feelings, about how he also seemed so alone. Who is he really?, she asked. Is he the boy who left Leia and Han devastated, or is he the man who held her hands as she cried?

Maz and Chewie had let her get through everything, just listening. When she finished, she suddenly remembered that they were in the room too. She had been so caught in unloading all of her thoughts she had briefly forgotten. She blushed. Was this too personal? She had never shared anything this personal with them before. This whole week was an anomaly for her in terms of letting other people into her world.

Maz was the first one to speak.

“Your eyes, child. I’ve seem them before.”

“Yes” Chewie agreed.

“I’ve seen them before on another lonely soul- another soul that felt like there was no one to rely on, no one that could see them. I’ve seen them before on another independent, self-reliant soul, who would rather wither away than ask for help. I’ve seen them before on another passionate soul, who feels so deeply, crushingly intense, but never lets it show.”

Rey blinked as Maz read her face.

“Thankfully, you’re a smart girl. We might be able to help you yet,” she said, a broad smile filling her comically small face.

“Let’s start with your Plutt problem” Chewie said. “Your lucky my wife is a genius and can figure out people in a heartbeat.”

“Yes, thank you dear” Maz said, smiling at him and patting his shoulder, which was higher than her head. “I think I’ve got an idea, but I’m going to need some time to make some calls and figure it out.”

Rey nodded. Chewie had told her all about how back in her day, Maz had been Chief of Detectives on the NYPD. She didn’t like to talk about it now, preferring to dwell in the present and look to the future. But she had known her way around thieves, gang members, drug dealers, the whole lot. She had a knack for recognizing who the true threats to public safety were, prioritizing the investigation of truly dangerous criminals over issues of petty crime. Even the felons of New York respected her. If anyone knew how to efficiently and discreetly help, and had the connections to do so, it would be Maz. Maz also knew that dirty cops were easily bought out by various companies and mobs, so she’d have to be careful.

“Now- I must say I’m surprised to hear you talk about Ben in this way” Maz went on. “Most people in this town don’t like that boy- he was always different.”

“But they never really knew him” Chewie added.

“That’s true” Maz agreed. “Maybe it takes a different sort of person to understand him. You know that we are as wacky as it gets, Rey. But you’ve also always been different- so different from the other young people here.”

Rey nodded again. She had always been different wherever she lived. A foster kid, slow to get along with people, impatient, guarded.

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you should give him a chance. If you want to be with him, even just as a friend, tell him. But don’t push him. He’s had a lot of issues over the years, and he’s just now getting his feet back under him” Maz responded.

“Issues?” Rey asked. She _knew_ something was wrong, she had sensed it the other day, and his wild undulation in emotions today confirmed it. Some dark, underlying, last-your-whole-life kind of issue was there. She recognized it because she had seen it in her own face in the mirror for years, although hers was less angry, and more sad.

Maz and Chewie looked at eachother, and Maz nodded.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about how angry Ben was as a child and before he left” Chewie said. “It’s true- it’s always been a struggle for him. He’s felt alone since he was born. I won’t tell his story for him, maybe he will tell you one day. But I’m assuming he offered to help you because he sees a bit of himself in you- the loneliness.”

Rey swallowed dryly. Kylo himself had told her as much. What was it he had said? I just wish I had someone there for me when I needed help.

Rey shivered. She had understood what he had meant even then, without any details. It’s one of the reasons she had trusted him.

“Yeah, he did” she said, bringing her eyes up to Chewie. “If I trust him, will he hurt me?” she asked, unable to hold back the question any longer. Her eyes welled up without her permission. It was what she was truly wondering, and not just about Kylo.

Chewie took a moment to respond. “I honestly can’t say. What I do know is that he’s a different person than he was 10 years ago. Still intense, still sometimes spilling over with anger, but it’s like there is a different Ben trying to claw his way out of him. Maybe not Ben, but someone in between Kylo and Ben.”

Rey contemplated this idea. She couldn’t honestly see the sweet little boy in the photos in Leia’s stairwell in him. But she also knew he wasn’t the dark monster everyone claimed him to be. Maybe he really was somewhere in between.

“I feel connected to him. Is that weird? I’ve only known him for two weeks…”

“No, child. It’s not weird. Not for those of us who are sensitive to the force of life pulling us in whichever direction it deems fit. I have a feeling you need to speak to him” Maz said, rising out of her chair to walk over to Rey. She pet the top of Rey’s head, which was surprisingly soothing. 

“Now I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. Chewie and I rarely stay up past 10 anymore, and I think we could all use some rest.”

Rey looked at her watch- it was almost 11pm. She felt bad for keeping them up. Then her stomach took the opportunity to growl loudly- she had eaten the entire plate of food Kylo had served her, but she had been doing pretty hard labor all day, and she was always hungry anyway- a remnant of foster system life.

Chewie laughed. “Do you still eat as much as you used to? We’ve got a spare barrel of oats in the farm you can have as a snack!” he joked.

Maz winked at him, then turned back to Rey. “Rey, we’ve got plenty of food here in the fridge. Help yourself. And then you’re staying in the guest room tonight, you know where it is- no arguing. It’s getting late and I don’t want you biking all the way across town in the dark, I don’t care how often you do it. You’re staying. Eat and go to bed.”

With that, she walked out of the kitchen, with Chewie in tow. Rey was secretly glad that Maz had refused to let her argue. She really was tired, and very hungry. And the bed in their guest bedroom was way better than her own. She could take advantage of their hospitality for one night. She’d be sure to thank them and send Chewie some blueprints for some toys she recently designed tomorrow.


	11. Muscle Cars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo work on Han's old cars together, and things start heating up (not just the engines) ;]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a bit of a longer time than I normally take to update, sorry about that!  
> It's a bit of a shorter chapter, but it should make up for it in Reylo content ;]

Kylo’s week passed in a similar manner to the previous- sleeping several times a day, working out in the pole barn, meditating with Leia, and talking with his therapist over Skype. Each time his anger arose, it got a little bit easier to smother it and let it burn out. He started making elaborate meals for dinner- taking the opportunity of working less to cook. He never realized just how much he enjoyed doing it. Leia seemed more than pleased to have her own personal chef.

Whenever he went for a run, he always thought about Rey. He wanted desperately to run over to the high school in the mornings to see if she’d be on the soccer field. But each day, he decided against it. Even if he hadn’t yelled at anyone recently, he still wasn’t in control. And he didn’t want his experiment with healing to suddenly go wrong in front of her. But he missed seeing her smile, and missed making her blush. But now was not the time to pursue someone.

He was, however, concerned about her issue with being threatened with Finn’s safety. Had that resolved itself? She had brushed it off when they were briefly alone the previous Saturday… Maybe he should call or text her... He had secretly hoped that she would’ve reached out to him, something that would prove that the interest wasn’t completely one-sided. In the end, the week came and went without him working up the courage to call her.

Saturday came again quickly- Rey’s day, as Kylo liked to think of it. She was coming over to the house again, this time to work on Han’s old cars, and Kylo was supposed to help. He was trying not to overthink it- if he focused on Rey, maybe he could forget that the cars once belonged to Han, that his hands spent countless hours on them.

Rey came bursting through the doorway like a beam of sunlight as Kylo let her in the house. As always, she was glowing. Kylo internally thanked Mother Nature for the warmer weather they were getting- Rey was again in shorts, revealing fit, lean legs that Kylo couldn’t stop ogling. But it wasn’t her legs that Kylo missed the most, it was just talking to her, letting her voice soothe him. His stomach had been uneasy all morning waiting for her, excited and anxious to spend time with her.

“So, you ready to get your hands dirty, Kylo?” she asked, looking at him with a smile.

Kylo’s heart skipped a beat when she said his name. There was no use denying it now- he loved her. Everything about her had drawn him in from the moment they met- her spirit, her strength, her beauty, even her stained clothes and abundance of baby hairs around her temple. Maybe he couldn’t stay away, maybe he would try to tell her how he felt in case of a miniscule chance that she wouldn’t reject him too hard.

“Ready” he responded, leading her out of the back door of the house and over to the pole barn.

“Wow, these are incredible!” Rey gasped as she entered the barn, encountering Han’s car collection for the first time. “I saw him driving a few of them around town, but seeing them all together- I think I’m in heaven!”

Kylo smiled and watched her as she waltzed her way through the cars, a new animated expression popping up for each one. 

“Han and I actually have really similar taste- I’m also more of a muscle car fanatic myself, instead of sport” she said, running her hand over an old Dodge Charger.

“I wish he had invited you here.” Kylo said, still at the door.

Rey looked over at him then, her smile soft and understanding. “Me too. But I’m glad I’ll be able to finish them for him and Leia. And for you! Do you know which one you’ll want?”

“I’m not sure” Kylo shrugged, mouth pursing. He still didn’t know how to feel about all of this. By the end of everything that had happened between him and Han, his memories of old cars and car repair turned sour. He always bought new models now- nothing that would need any work. He didn’t want to hurt Leia by not taking one, but he really couldn’t imagine wanting any of them.

“Well, we can figure it out” Rey said, walking toward him. She came all the way up to him before stopping and reaching her hand out to touch his arm that was tightly crossed above the other against his chest. “Are you sure you want to help? I totally understand if it’s too hard…”

Kylo shivered under her touch, hoping she wouldn’t notice. He paused- maybe it was too hard. He saw a little bit of Han in every car. But that would never change. He would always see a bit of Han in everything- in the house, in the town, in Leia, even in the punching bag in his regular gym in Chicago. Maybe he just needed to face it head on. And if there was anyone who could help him do that, it was Rey. Her light seemed to engulf him, swallowing him whole. Rey took her hand off of his arm, seeming to second guess the contact.

“It is hard, but I want to do it” Kylo finally responded. “Plus he always said I’d have better luck with the ladies if I could fix a car” he added, fighting to keep a smile off of his face. Han had always been honest- and had always teased him about never having a girlfriend. Back then, Kylo resented him for it. Now he sort of understood- a sulky, angsty teen is a lot more appealing if he actually has the skills of a true bad boy- maybe Han had actually been trying to help.

“Are you not lucky with the ladies _now_?” Rey asked. Kylo noticed her ears turning pink.

“Not in the ways that matter” he said, walking toward the tool bench, wishing he hadn’t brought up the topic. He didn’t want Rey to think that he couldn’t get a girlfriend- that he was so emotionally unavailable and dislikable that no one actually wanted to date him (which was true), that girls were only ever interested in him physically. 

“So which one should we start with?” he asked.

“That ‘69 Camaro is calling my name!” Rey said, her voice going up an entire octave with her enthusiasm. He chuckled as she practically skipped over it. “Can you grab the keys from the bench? Let’s start her up and see if anything’s wrong. She needs some trim work but I’d rather work under the hood first before shining her up.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Rey spent the afternoon floating in her own personal version of heaven. She was surrounded by classic muscle cars, classic rock blaring from the radio on the tool bench, and a sweaty Kylo next to her. The best part was that there was no chance that Plutt would be stopping by. Older cars were her bread and butter. The newer models were all made of black boxes that practically forced you to go to the manufacturer for repairs. Older vehicles were like old clocks- you could take them apart and find exactly what made them tick. And Rey loved fixing them and putting them back together.

The barn wasn’t well ventilated, and it was warming up quite quickly with engines running and two bodies at work. Rey had already taken her sweatshirt off and Leia had already come in with ice water for her and Kylo twice. Some of the sweat on Kylo’s shirt was starting to outline the muscles in his back and his chest. He was back in the same tight grey shirt from two weeks ago- it really wasn’t doing Rey any favors.

She had been nervous to start- the subject of Han was clearly a sensitive topic for Kylo, and not just in a normal grieving way. But he had insisted that he wanted to help. Thankfully, he was becoming looser and less tense with every minute. He had even let a smile slip at one of Rey’s many automotive puns. She was sure he’d probably heard them all from Han before, but she couldn’t help it. She found that she would do just about anything to see a smile on his normally serious face.

Kylo was a quick learner, asking questions here and there but not distracting her when she was in the middle of pulling something out or replacing a hose. It turned out his hands weren’t very adept at small motor tasks- they were big and gangly like the rest of him. She laughed when he tried to handle small nuts and bolts, cursing as he dropped them inside of the hood. She nearly shivered any time her hand grazed his as he handed her a tool. They made a good team, and spent the day just talking, getting to know each other better as they worked. It was so easy to talk to him- it felt like she had known him forever. All of the social anxiety and distrust she usually had when first getting to know people had melted away the first day they really talked on the soccer field, and now they already felt like lifelong friends.

After a few hours under the hood of the Camaro, she asked Kylo to hop in and give it a start. The engine roared to life, causing Kylo to jump in the driver’s seat, his head hitting the roof. Rey laughed. She let it run for a minute, watching for any smoking or sparking, before signaling to him to rev the engine. He did so with a smile. Rey couldn’t help it- she smiled when he smiled. The engine sounded crisp as he revved it. She let it run a few minutes longer to see if it stayed smooth. Finally, she signaled for him to kill it. He got out of the car, closing the door.

“I’ve gotta admit it- I’m impressed” Kylo said, walking around to the front where Rey stood. “When it didn’t start earlier, I didn’t think you’d be able to get it running so quickly. Especially since Han loved to cannibalize his own cars and swap out parts.”

“Oh, he definitely did a number on this one” Rey responded, closing the hood. “But lucky for you, I specialize in mix-and-match machines. I’m a scavenger. Now we just need to get the other cars running so that we can maneuver them all out of the barn and see if it actually drives” she added with a laugh.

“A scavenger, huh?” Kylo asked as she turned around to face him.

She hadn’t even realized she had called herself that. It was a word that bullies used to call her when she was a kid, always looking for spare or unclaimed food, clothes, or parts of toys and stowing them away in her backpack. She had hated the word then, but couldn’t deny that it was true.

“Yeah,” she said, “that’s how I’ve always survived- taking bits of nothing and making them into something for myself.”

“Rey,” Kylo said, walking closer. She instinctively backed up, her bum hitting the grill of the Camaro. “I wish you hadn’t been through all that. I wish someone had taken care of you.”

Rey frowned. “I can take care of myself” she said defiantly. He was getting closer again, much as he had in his bedroom a few weeks ago.

“I know you can, better than anyone I know,” Kylo responded, “but I hope you know that you don’t need to survive on nothing anymore. There are people that can help you. Leia cares for you… I- I care for you…”

He was too close again. Too close, but not close enough. 

“You do?” Rey whispered. Did he mean platonically? Or more than that? His proximity to her suggested the latter, but she didn’t want to make a fool of herself again.

“Yes, I _want_ you” he whispered back, his eyes suddenly cast down, as if embarrassed, “I want you- every part of you. But I don’t want to hurt you- I don’t think I can be trusted. Even if you wanted me back, I wouldn’t be good enough.”

Rey’s heart broke for him. Is this how he always felt? That he would hurt those he loved? She wanted desperately to trust him, even if it did mean getting hurt in the process. She remembered what Maz and Chewie told her- that he would rather wither away than tell people how he felt. This confession must be difficult for him, how could she possibly deny him? She thought about what Finn said- maybe this was her chance. If not at love than at least at something better than she had- which was nothing. He thought he wasn’t good enough for her, but the truth was that she certainly wasn’t good enough for him- she was as damaged as they come. Maybe they could try to be better for each other.

“What if I want you too? And what if I’m the one that’s not good enough?” she whispered.

Kylo’s face whipped up, his eyes meeting hers again. They were dark and rich, with a multitude of feelings storming behind them. 

“You what?”

“Kylo,” Rey said again, now with more confidence, her hand finding it’s way to his arm. “Kiss me.”

Kylo looked at her blankly for a moment, as if trying to determine if she was joking. But she knew she was blushing, and her heavy breathing had to be giving her away.

“I don’t want to hurt you” he repeated, but Rey could see his pupils dilate, there was no way he didn’t want this too.

“Kylo,” she repeated with what she knew was a cheeky grin, “kiss me now or I will smash your head against the hood of this Camaro.”

Kylo’s eyes lit up. Fast as lightning, he cupped her face with one hand and wrapped his other arm around her back, pulling her to him and crushing his lips against hers. He wasted no time- Rey couldn't help but moan as he made his way into her mouth. His lips were just as soft as she had imagined. Before she knew it, her hands were in his hair, gripping tightly. His hand slid from her cheek down her neck and down her side before meeting her thigh, suddenly using both hands to lift her legs and sit her on the hood of the Camaro. She was at a better height now, able to take control of the kiss. She bit into his lower lip. She had never done that to anyone before, but his lips were so soft and luscious that she couldn’t help it. Kylo let out a groan in return, clearly approving of the action. His hands were running up and down her sides and along the outsides of her thighs. She pulled him closer, bumping his legs into the grill of the car. Her body wanted his as close as she could get it. He continued to ravage her mouth before moving down to her neck, using his large hands to hold her head still as he sucked hard, causing her eyes to roll back into her head. 

She had never been this turned on by kissing before. To be fair, she had never kissed anyone sober before. It was like every nerve ending was amplified, sending her shock waves of pleasure. She wanted to rub her thighs together, but they were straddled on each side of Kylo. She was turned on by how much he wanted her, his mouth attached to her skin. No one had ever wanted her like this. Even covered in sweat, he smelled incredible. She pulled herself closer to him by gripping his shirt, finally closing the space between their torsos. She was finally able to feel his muscled chest under her fingers and against her breasts. She wrapped her legs around his waist naturally. Rey had never felt this bold before- normal Rey would be mortified by her actions. But this was sexy Rey, confident under Kylo’s touch.

She gripped him with her legs tightly, and found that he was erect beneath his black jeans. She involuntarily gasped, bolts of energy shivering up her spine. Kylo brought his mouth back to hers at the sound, moving his hands back to her thighs. They fought for dominance in the kiss, each trying to show each other how much they wanted one another.

Kylo’s hands wandered up to her waist, his thumbs resting on her hip bones before rubbing small circles into them. They ghosted across her stomach, making her clench. She never imagined that someone touching her stomach could be so sensual. His hands kept moving, fingering her ribcage, and God did she want him to just grab it and slam her back down against the hood of the Camaro. But as his thumbs grazed just under her breasts, she froze. She jerked her head back from his.

Kylo was panting, looking into her eyes. It took a second for his expression to change, to look at her questioningly.

“Am I going too fast?” he asked, his hands making their way back down her ribcage, back safely to her waist.

Rey felt her face burn with embarrassment. She was inexperienced compared to almost everyone her age, and he was older and probably _very_ experienced. She wanted more than anything for him to keep going, but she didn’t want to disappoint him. What if she wasn’t good at it? What if he found her boring? That would be entirely too embarrassing. She always tried to be the best at everything she did- that was her strategy to avoid pain and ridicule. But she really had no idea how to be the best in bed.

She felt guilty- she had been the one to pull him closer, she had been the one to wrap her legs around him. She hoped he didn’t think she was a tease. She had gotten swept away in the moment, something she never let herself do. But now, all of her anxiety and self-awareness had come flooding back. She didn’t want to get hurt- and Kylo would probably stop liking her if she wasn’t good physically- she was sure that he had _lots_ of partners to compare her to.

She liked him so much- she wouldn’t be able to bear it if he lost interest physically.

“I… um…” she stuttered, unable to peel her eyes away from his lips. It physically hurt to have hers so far away from them. She felt his hand move to her lower back under her shirt, slowly caressing it in a sweet and gentle way.

She looked into his eyes again. He was so patient- far more patient than she would have been.

“I like you,” she whispered, leaning forward, nuzzling her nose against his neck, unable to look him in the eyes anymore, “but I don’t want to move too quickly. I care about you.”

That’s what normal people said, right? That they wanted to go slowly because they ‘liked each other’? He didn’t have to know that she was lying- that she wanted him to take her right here on the hood of the car. 

“Of course” Kylo said against her neck in return, his deep voice making her bones rattle. He removed his hands from under her shirt, she almost shivered from the loss of contact.

She let him peel his torso off of hers, taking a small step back. She took her hands from behind his neck to cup his cheeks, giving him a gentle, chaste kiss. She would never tire of his lips. He looked back at her with an unfamiliar expression. Partiality? Fondness? With a start, Rey realized what it was. It was the same expression Leia wore when she spoke of Han, and how Chewie looked at Maz when she wasn’t looking.

_Adoration_. 

Oh, crap. She was in deep.

“I better get going” she whispered, knowing she had to go if she was going to have any chance at controlling herself.

Kylo lifted her off of the Camaro, gently placing her down. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Can I drive you home?” he asked.

“No thanks,” Rey responded, seeing a flash of hurt across his face, “I’ve got my bike but I’ll walk it home if you join me” she said, turning toward the barn door, waiting for him to follow.


	12. Inventory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days after Rey and Kylo's first kiss.  
> Plutt makes another appearance.

When Kylo awoke the next day, there was plenty evidence of what he had dreamed about. He could still practically smell Rey, feel her skin against his own. His morning wood was aching with arousal.

She had said she wanted him. He didn’t believe her at first. She _knew_ how fucked up he was, but wanted him anyway. He had honestly never imagined that could ever happen, that a woman would ever feel that way about him. It was still hard to believe, even after she had sweetly nuzzled his neck and told him she cared about him when they slowed down. 

When she had first ordered him to kiss her, he had never been so out of control with lust in his life. So out of control that he wasn’t able to keep his hands off of her. He had moved too fast- his hands roamed up her body. He cringed at the memory. This wasn’t some girl that was just using him for intentionally emotionless sex, this was someone who actually _cared_ about him. And he had treated her like some common hook-up. He felt overwhelmingly guilty. He knew that she didn’t trust anyone, that she was guarded. He probably scared her. He wondered how many people she had been with before, if any of them had been someone that she genuinely cared about. He secretly hoped not. He was the first woman he’d ever felt this way about, and he selfishly hoped it was the same way for her, but he doubted it. She was too beautiful, too smart, and too engaging to not attract good guys, guys that would treat her right. He still wasn't sure that Finn wasn’t more than just a friend.

Kylo heaved himself out of bed, desperate to leave his erotic dreams about the way her body felt in his hands behind. In the shower, he was still left with his erection, which refused to dampen. He grasped himself. He hadn’t allowed himself to think of Rey while doing this before, but now he couldn’t help it. Not when he could replay their kiss in his mind, not when he could still feel her feet digging into his back as she had wrapped her legs around him. He started with a hard and fast pace, unable to hold back. 

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Rey headed over to the soccer field as usual on Sunday morning, but couldn’t wipe the unusual, stupidly large smile on her face as she biked there. She was replaying the previous night in her mind over and over- the way she and Kylo connected, shared details of their lives, and how his touch had driven her insane. He actually _wanted_ her. She had spent her whole life alone, thinking that no one would ever want her. Her heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest at any second. The feeling of being wanted was incredible, but it also left her very anxious. What if Kylo suddenly realized that she was just a scrappy nobody? She knew she should be preparing herself for the pain of him leaving her, instead of encouraging whatever this was between them. But she couldn’t keep him off of her mind or out of her dreams.

She had considered asking last night as he walked her home if he wanted to come to the soccer field the following morning, but she knew she would need the time to physically unwind. Another game of keep-away that got too handsy might leave her unable to say no, unable to keep herself safely distant. After a couple of hours of running, shooting, and dribbling, attempting to relieve some of the physical stress, she put the ball back in her bag and biked home, ready for a long shower and a nap. She wondered if she should call him. She considered herself a loner and usually liked spending time by herself, but she wanted to spend every minute with him that she could.

She woke up from her nap at a pounding on the door of her loft. Could it be Kylo? It was more likely Finn, although she hadn’t contacted either of them. She lazily made her way out of bed, throwing on a shirt over her sports bra. Suddenly she remembered it was Sunday- the door to the shop was locked, and only one other person had a key. The pounding continued. “I’m coming, I’m coming…” she nervously shouted as she walked the short distance to the door.

When she opened it, she was staring at a sweating, angry Plutt. 

“Girl, you better answer the door when I knock” he said loudly, pushing against the door with his meaty hand. Rey tried to block the doorway with her body and push lightly against the door in hopes that he wouldn’t come in, but he pushed past her anyway, seating himself in one of her chairs around her small table. He stared at her a minute as she remained by the open door, not particularly wanting to walk away from the only path of escape from the apartment.

“Is there something you want to talk about?” she asked, after another awkward minute of silence.

Plutt sneered.

“I’ve been thinkin’,” he started, shoving his chair back, leaning back, and putting his large feet on her table. “It’s about time you start being more grateful for your situation.”

“My situation?”

“It’s rather nice that I let you live here for free, give you a job and all. No one else in this town would want you.”

“That’s not true” Rey said before she could help it. She immediately snapped her mouth shut, hoping by some miracle Plutt hadn’t heard her.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, GIRL?” Plutt shouted, bringing his feet down off the table, ready to launch himself out of the chair at any moment.

“Nothing, Mr. Plutt. Really. I am grateful for everything” she lied, hoping to defuse the bomb about to explode. Her godfather, who took care of her briefly after her parents died, had always told her that her quick tongue would get her in trouble. She had never imagined that he too would soon pass, and that her quick tongue would get her in trouble with nearly every foster parent she had after that, especially Plutt.

Plutt stared at her with a frown, clearly trying to decide if he should continue yelling. Instead, he unclenched his fists and narrowed his eyes at her.

“There’s some folks I’d like you to meet,” he said. “Maybe you could help them with some of their work.”

Work? Rey forced a swallow past the lump in her throat. She knew he was referring to the criminals he dealt with downstate.

“My schedule at the shop is already pretty full, and I want to make sure I serve all of our regular customers in a timely manner…”

“Not automotive work. And this would be in your free time.” Plutt responded, not convinced by her attempt to play dumb.

“I don’t think I have enough free time away from the shop to be of much help…”

“And _I_ don’t think there’s really any reason not to tell my buddy about your friend Finn.”

Rey’s jaw clenched. The job she could do without, the loft she could do without. She could always find another job in town, and hopefully either find somewhere to stay or just camp in the woods. But she couldn’t give up Finn. She would never do that to her friend.

“What is it that you want me to do?” she asked slowly, using a massive amount of effort to keep her voice steady.

Plutt smiled a greasy, wicked smile. “Why don’t you start with picking up and delivering some inventory of mine downstate?” he asked. “You can use my extra car in the shop- conveniently it’s already registered in your name.”

The only helpful thing Plutt had ever done for Rey was pay for her driving training so that she could get her license, and that was only so she could run all of the errands for the auto shop with his car. She could only imagine what type of ‘inventory’ he meant this time, and why he would register the car in her name. It had to be something illegal, something that he wouldn’t want found in a car under _his_ name.

Rey just stared back at him, trying desperately to think of a way out of it. She couldn’t think of anything- he had her completely at his mercy with Finn’s safety under his thumb. It could be worse- he used to hit her when she was younger. At least this didn’t involve him touching her. All he was doing was keeping her in town, working at his shop, and helping with some illegal hauling of some sort. But would it stop there? How much more would he take from her, now that he had her best friend by the noose? She needed help. She needed to talk to Maz again, and soon.

“Sounds doable” she responded in a clipped tone. She hoped he didn’t mean _that_ day, she hoped she’d have some time to figure something out.

“Excellent,” Plutt sneered, rising from his seat at the table. He came up close to her, trying to threaten her with his proximity. “I’ll let you know when I need you,” he said, then made his way out of the loft, lumbering down the stairs.

Rey closed her door quietly, then turned around and leaned against it, letting her back slide down it until her bum reached the floor. She hugged her knees, too scared to think of much. She sat there for well over an hour, just trying to process how her life had reached this point. Before Finn, she hadn’t had much to live for. Now she had a best friend, and she also had Kylo. For the first time in her life, she actually looked forward to each new day. And Plutt was going to take it all away from her. She couldn’t go back to her old life- she just couldn’t.

Rey knew Plutt was friends with the town sheriff- she often saw them playing poker at the bar. She couldn’t trust him to help. Her only hope was Maz. She was going to have to swallow her pride and ask for help. Maz had said that she would find a way to take care of it when Rey initially told her about the situation. Hopefully when Rey went to see her next she would have an idea of what to do.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He couldn’t stay away from her, even if he had wanted to. Kylo found himself driving to the auto shop on Monday. To be fair, she had texted him first. Around noon, his phone buzzed, asking how he was, saying that she was thinking about him. He had groaned- now she was thinking about him? He realized all over again that he loved her. He made himself wait a couple of hours before driving over, trying to not look desperate. When he pulled up, she was in the garage, dancing to whatever was on the radio, smiling to herself. He noticed a smile form on his own face.

He hopped out of the car, and she bounded over to him, wrapping him in a hug. Okay, so he hadn’t completely scared her off, this was good.

“Hey! I wasn’t expecting you to come in person!” she said, giving him a tight squeeze.

“I was done with work for the day, I wanted to come by and see you” he responded, giving her a squeeze in return. It was incredible- he had never had a friendship like this before- the kind where you’re happy to see each other, greeting each other with hugs. He felt… light. Was this normal?

“I’m glad you did. Do you want to keep me company while I work? Mrs. Mothma will be back at 5 to pick up her truck, I just need to finish an inspection and tune-up.”

“I’d love to” Kylo said. _I love you_ was what he really wanted to say.

They chatted while she worked away. He loved the way she laughed at his bad jokes and teased him in return. He loved the way she described her favorite books, getting lost in explaining the narrative and why she enjoyed them to him. Not once when he was with her did dark thoughts worm their way into his mind.

After she finished and Mrs. Mothma picked up her truck, she closed the garage doors. She wiped her hands on a rag as she came over to him where he was sitting on the couch against the wall. She bumped his knees against his. 

“What are you doing tonight? Want to hang out?”

Kylo smiled, tentatively rubbing her knee with his. “I was actually going to ask you the same thing. Leia’s working late today, and I don’t have any plans.”

“Perfect. You’re staying here with me” Rey said confidently. He liked it when she bossed him around. 

“Are you going to threaten to smash my head into another car?” he asked, unable to keep himself from teasing her.

She blushed, but then boldly straddled herself on his lap, facing him.

“Only if you’re uncooperative” she said, gently holding his throat in her hand. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him?

He grasped her head to bring her lips down to his. He knew she wanted to go slowly, but they had already kissed, so hopefully that was still in bounds. By the way she responded, tightening her grip on his throat and placing her other hand on his chest, he could tell that she would take control, letting him know what it was that she wanted. He moved to position his hands safely on her hips, and tried to will away his growing erection. 

Her lips felt like heaven on his, his tongue against hers made everything in the world feel right. She let go of his throat, choosing to instead bury her hands in his hair, twisting it between her fingers. As her nails raked his scalp, shivers flew down his spine. He wanted to stay there forever, sitting on the old couch with Rey in his lap, just kissing. He never spent much time kissing the girls he slept with- they were usually too busy getting down to the point of it all. Kissing felt emotionally intimate, and he never wanted to kiss anyone but Rey ever again.

The bell on the door to the shop suddenly jingled, causing Rey to jump out of Kylo’s lap, standing and taking a few steps away from him. But there was no way with Kylo’s messed up hair and Rey’s swollen lips that they would be able to hide what they had been doing.

It was Finn who entered the shop, carrying a bag of food.

“Hey Rey babe! Oh, hi Kylo, how are you, man?” he said, putting the bag down on the desk and walking over to extend his hand, much like he had done a few weeks ago in the general store. He didn’t seem to notice their heavy breathing or embarrassed expressions.

Kylo had to admit it- Finn did seem like a nice guy. He still couldn’t bring himself to believe that he wasn’t even a little attracted to Rey, but he couldn’t find it in himself to hate him either. He was clearly a good friend of Rey’s, so that had to mean he was ok, and that he should try to get to know him.

“Good, good. Yourself?”

“I’m good too. I don’t know if Rey told you, but I work over at the textile plant. We have some new management that have actually made some great improvements, I think this town might see a boost in its economy this year.”

“Yeah,” Kylo responded, “Leia has been telling me about the new permits they’ve been applying for- sounds like you all are building a new add-on to the plant...

Rey suddenly cut off their small talk, pounding her small fists against Finn’s arm.

“Ok, ok, you two can talk about boring work stuff later. So, Finn, did you finally talk to him?” she asked, practically jumping up and down. 

“I did” Finn answered, turning toward her with what appeared to be a self-satisfied grin. “We may or may not be going out this weekend.” 

“Ah!!!” Rey shouted, her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to celebrate with her. “You’re going out with Poe! You guys are gonna get married! I’m gonna be a bridesmaid! You guys are gonna adopt little gay dogs and I’m gonna dogsit them when you go on romantic vacations!” She sang as she danced around the shop.

_Oh._ So that cleared some things up. Kylo would have tried to be cool with Rey’s male best friend anyway- Leia had raised him to always respect and trust women's choices, but he couldn’t help that the fact that Finn was gay made him less insecure about his chances with Rey.

Finn laughed- “Ok, ok, you’re embarrassing me. It’s just a date!” he said, smiling wide. He turned back toward Kylo- “It’s just a date, Rey likes to be dramatic!”

Kylo chuckled. Rey’s excitement for her friend’s happiness was evident, she truly was too good for him. 

“Well if you’re half as excited as she is, I’m happy for you” he responded, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Have you dated anyone else since moving here?”

“No,” Finn said, “there’s not a lot of options with so few people, although I’m sure you know that, growing up here and all.”

“You’re right about that.”

Rey blushed at that as she rejoined them. Kylo wondered how much she had told Finn about what had happened between them. He didn’t mind, he just didn’t know if he was supposed to pretend he didn’t like her like that around him. And it occurred to him that she didn’t really know about his lack of dating history. 

“Well, guys, I brought over some stuff for dinner, I make Rey food when I get the chance since she’s a horrible cook… but I have enough for 3… want to join us, Kylo?” Finn asked.

Kylo’s first instinct was to say no- that was always his first instinct when invited to join any sort of group gathering. But he had already agreed to spend the evening with Rey. And he didn’t mind Finn, he was actually pretty ok. Maybe it was time for him to be social for once in his life.

“Sure” he said, giving his best attempt at a friendly smile. Jeez, he should really practice those.


	13. Boxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey get closer, and reach a turning point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, sorry for the longer-than-usual break between the last chapter and this one. Work has had me SUPER busy recently. Have no fear, I want to keep pumping out this fic so that I get a chance to do another one before Ep 8 comes out!  
> This chapter is super fluffy, hope you enjoy. We are getting dangerously close to smut!  
> Thanks again for your comments and kudos!

Kylo had stayed at her place late last night. Finn had made them dinner in her loft. Kylo had been pretty quiet- she and Finn dominated the conversation. He had never really been shy around her before, but Maz and Chewie said that he didn’t open up to anyone, that he never really had a lot of friends. Rey was now seeing that side of him. She shot him a smile now and then, hoping he wasn’t too uncomfortable. He always responded with a small smile of his own, each of which set the butterflies in her stomach into action.

After Finn left, Kylo stayed and helped her clean up. Afterwards, she took his hand and led him through the large window of her loft onto the roof of the garage. She had two old lawn chairs out there, where she and Finn often spent the evenings star-gazing. Sharing the night sky with Kylo, however, was different. It felt… _romantic_ , how she imagined couples in movies felt. He had reached over and held her hand as she told him about the first time she saw a sky full of stars when she had been shipped away from light-polluted London to Maine. No one had ever told her that there was _this_ many stars.

Kylo’s hand had pulled ever so slightly at hers. She wondered if he even noticed he was doing it, or if he felt the same sort of gravitational attraction that she was feeling and his body was pulling her toward him subconsciously. She was normally very modest and guarded with physical contact, but eventually she had worked up the nerve to stand up and go over and sit sideways in Kylo’s lap. To her relief, he had immediately wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly. His voice lowered into a deep whisper against her ear as they looked up, and he told her about seeing the Northern Lights almost every night in Idaho when he was living with his uncle. “I’ll take you one day” he said. Her eyes had watered then, and a tear slipped out and ran off her face, knowing full well that Plutt would never let her leave. His hands immediately had come up to hold her face, and he brushed away her tears with his lips.

“What’s wrong?” he asked between light kisses under her eyes.

“Nothing, when I’m with you” she whispered back.

He kissed her then, slowly and sweetly, nothing like their kisses in Han’s barn or in her shop. She whimpered pathetically when he finally pulled away, and ducked her head into his shoulder.

That’s when she realized she loved him. And that she didn’t him to leave, for their lives to part. She felt completely vulnerable, but all of her instincts to protect herself melted away whenever they were together, and that had to mean something. When he left for the night, she didn’t even change into pajamas. She slept in her clothes that vaguely smelled like him from their cuddling on the roof.

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Kylo was getting better and better at being around Leia without getting angry. He had to admit, her now significantly greying hair and wrinkles were major factors in his attempt to be kind to her- she looked so much older and more frail than when he was a kid. He finally felt like he was fulfilling his promise- taking care of her, helping her transition out of her grieving stage. She smiled whenever he entered the room, though he couldn’t imagine why. They talked quietly and slowly for hours on end while Kylo pretended to work, listening patiently for once to her stories about her life in the military as a general, and how she met Han. Kylo never really appreciated the stories before, until now. He’d make her tea as she sat in the living room knitting. He cooked for her, and felt genuinely grateful when he heard her gushing about his cooking skills to her friends on the phone. ‘I must have put on 10 pounds since he moved back!’ she said. He made sure she didn’t stay up too late working, and continued to humor her by meditating with her in the evenings, still not quite admitting to himself that it was helping him too.

Kylo noticed when she resumed doing little things she had done for years but had stopped when Han died- grooming the ivy growing on the trellis in the back yard, finishing the crosswords in the paper, making elaborate birthday packages for folks around town. It brought a strange feeling to his chest, something he could only assume was... happiness. He even started to look forward to Maz and Chewie’s visits and Sunday dinner at their farm. They were more careful around him, he assumed that Leia asked them to tread lightly. He hated feeling that way, like he was a bomb that was about to explode and ruin his family’s happiness. He made an effort to say something nice to them. It was obvious that Maz knew he was forcing it, but always patted his arm appreciatively anyway.

Kylo also went to the auto shop nearly every day to be with Rey. He felt peaceful in her presence, she kept him from brooding in his thoughts. Although he could still sense a strong physical urge between them, they enjoyed just talking for hours on end. Unlike with his family, their relationship was a blank slate. He didn’t feel weighted by everything in his past, he could just open up and discover along with her what he was as a person. By the end of the week, Rey knew more about him than even his therapist. He couldn’t remember ever speaking this much to anyone. In a way, it made him feel guilty- that a girl he knew for a month knew him better than even his mother, but he figured that any progress was good progress. Rey and Leia were friendly with each other, maybe she’d be able to help him get along with her even better. Despite being desperately physically attracted to her, he found himself not overwhelmed with a need to rush her. He was willing to wait as long as she wanted. He kept their kisses chaste, though he could swear that she was the one to hold his lips longer. He’d wait forever if it meant that she would stay by him, _caring_ for him. 

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Rey received a text from Leia Saturday morning, telling her that she was out shopping so Rey should just let herself into the pole barn whenever she arrived to work on the cars.

She was surprised to see the door to the barn already open when she arrived. She stepped in, looking around. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust and spot Kylo in the back of the barn. Her mouth suddenly went very, very dry. He was at the punching bag, shirtless, facing away from her. He had headphones in and was punching very hard, back and arm muscles rippling with each hit. She didn’t have a ton of experience seeing shirtless guys, but even she knew that his body was not normal. He was ripped. Not in a huge, steroidy kind of way, but well-corded with muscle, strong. His skin was shining with sweat, droplets of which were making their way down the smooth skin of his back, gathering along his spine, dripping down toward his ass. Crap, she was staring. 

She tried clearing her throat, not wanting to just stand there creeping on him. He didn’t hear her. She dropped her toolbox loudly on the workbench, still to no response. She could hear the music pounding through his headphones, clearly it was turned all the way up. She walked over to him and gently tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped and whirled around, his taped up hands still in fists. A huge smile appeared on his face, which made Rey blush. Not to mention she was now face-to-face with his sweat-covered heaving chest and his well-defined abs. His dark hair began below his navel, leading somewhere that Rey was trying _very_ hard not to think about. He pulled out his headphones- “Hey!” he said too loudly. 

“Hi” Rey responded, suddenly timid. “It’s Saturday, I’m here to work on the cars? Did you still want to help today?” she asked.

“Of course, sorry, I lost track of time” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder in greeting. “I’d hug you to say hi but I’m pretty sweaty” he laughed.

Yes, yes he was. But in a way that Rey kind of wanted to put her body against his, reveling in his warmth and natural scent.

“Thanks for not,” she said with a fake smile. She was trying very hard to keep her eyes on his face, but she was sneaking quick glances up and down his torso. She caught Kylo’s eyes again, which were gleaming with a look that knew he was about to tease her for staring.

“Right,” she said, before he could get a chance to do so. “I’ll be over there when you’re done with your workout,” she added, pointing over to the Dodge Charger. 

“I’ll finish up here, just going to stretch for a minute” he responded, starting to unwrap his hands. He flicked his sweaty hair out of his eyes, not even a little bit aware of what he was doing to Rey’s body temperature.

She practically ran back across the shop before her burning cheeks embarassed her further. She watched him from afar as she opened up the hood of the Dodge. His body was magnificent as he started stretching on a yoga mat. She couldn’t peel her eyes away, staring at his exposed torso. She wanted to dig her nails into it for some reason. She knew she was an aggressive fighter, but she surprised herself with how often she daydreamed about getting rough with Kylo in a distinctly not-fighting way. He caught her wandering eyes more than once, and each time she whipped her gaze back to the car, trying to ignore the soft chuckles coming from his corner. It had to be clear to her and now probably to him what she wanted. And since he had already implicitly expressed interest in going further physically, it now seemed more a matter of timing on her end than anything else. She normally didn’t even like talking to people, how the hell was she supposed to initiate sex? Her complete lack of experience was finally catching up with her, and she was still afraid that he would leave her after getting what he wanted. It’s not like they had ever discussed if they were in a relationship- Rey wouldn’t even know how to define that anyway. Despite trusting him with some of her deepest secrets and insecurities, she was still reluctant to intertwine with him physically- then she would never be able to forget him when he inevitably left her behind.

When he finished stretching, Kylo toweled himself off, slipped on a black tank, and strolled over to where Rey was pretending to work. It was going to be a long afternoon for her.

“Didn’t know you boxed,” Rey said with a forced casual tone, still keeping her eyes averted from the very warm body standing entirely too close to her.

“It’s the one way in which I take after Han” Kylo responded quietly. She could feel his eyes on her. “You don’t box, do you?”

Rey finally turned to him with an amused smile, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, although I’d probably be good at it. I used to fight kids all the time when I was young.”

“That’s right,” Kylo responded, the corners of his mouth turning upwards, “you told me you were scrappy. I could teach you, we could spar. I wouldn’t mind letting you beat me up a bit.”

Rey’s breath briefly caught in her throat. Her imagination had taken that suggestion into a dirty, dirty place. 

“Maybe we should. I could handle you,” she said confidently, stepping toward him.

“Rey, I’m almost a foot taller than you. And you’re a girl. There’s no way I’m throwing any punches your way.”

“You’re no fun,” Rey said, sticking her tongue out at him. She started to turn around, but his hands caught her waist, spinning her back around and into his body. Rey shivered as he leaned in close to her ear.

“You like it rough, don’t you, Rey?”

There it was, the lack of control she had been waiting for. Over the past week, Kylo had been too gentlemanly, never letting his hands wander when they kissed. She had been regretting asking him to move slowly. She was far too shy to make the first move, not even knowing what she was doing. She had been secretly hoping to lure him into getting more physical, but had no idea how to flirt effectively. Without even trying, she had finally broken him at this moment. She grabbed his shirt and lightly nipped at his neck. She heard him softly moan before she moved her own lips to his ear. 

“I guess you’ll have to find out,” she whispered.

Kylo immediately drew his head back and attacked her lips with his own, digging his fingers into her waist, finally releasing the lust he must have been holding back. She loved kissing him. Not only did she feel _wanted_ , but she genuinely wanted him in return. He cared for her, and actually seemed to like her as a person. This was all a novel concept to Rey. She never wanted to let him go. Despite being passionately kissed by him, she still wondered if he felt the same way, or if she was just another girl to him. They still hadn’t discussed dating history, or if they were really even dating each other. A low growl from Kylo broke Rey out of her train of thought, bringing her attention back to the feel of her body against his own.

Kylo suddenly broke their kiss when Rey’s hands reached into his hair. He took a large step back, holding his hands out in front of him as if he had been caught doing something bad.

Rey stared back at him in shock, confused as to why he had so suddenly backed off. In the moment, she felt hurt. Maybe he wasn’t enjoying it as much as she was.

“Rey, can I take you out?”

What? Her mind couldn’t compute what he was asking.

“What?”

“I mean, if you want to, no pressure… I just thought I should take you on a real date for once…” Kylo continued, running his hands through his hair in a nervous gesture.

Rey continued to stare at him in shock, her mouth hanging open.

“Ok, nevermind, forget it… it’s ok…. I just… nevermind” he said when she didn’t respond. He started looking around the barn wildly, as if looking for the nearest exit.

“No!” Rey practically shouted, stepping forward and grabbing his hands which he was wringing together.

He whipped his head back to face her.

“I mean…” she said with a laugh, “yes! I meant yes, I want to go out with you!”

Kylo stood stunned for a moment, then his worried expression melted into one of relief.

“You do?” he asked, releasing a breath.

“Of course,” Rey said, amazed that _he_ would be nervous to ask _her_ out. “Has it not been clear from all the making out and the sharing of life stories and trust I’ve put in you that I like you?” she asked.

“I guess,” Kylo said, letting out a nervous chuckle. “I just didn’t know if you’d actually be interested in dating someone like me. I’m not normally this awkward, this is just a different type of experience for me.”

“Dating is different for you?” Rey asked, confused.

“Dating someone I like…” he trailed off. 

Rey felt the weight of that confession deep in her stomach, and down in her loins. It was one thing to be physically attracted to someone and date them as a means to physical contact, she knew that. By the look on Kylo’s face, it was apparently another thing entirely for him to expose himself, making himself vulnerable, all for the sake of communicating to her that he wanted to date her for _her_ , and that these feelings were new to him.

She took a tentative step toward him, slowly reaching up toward his face to move some of his hair out of his face. He closed his eyes at the contact. 

“Dating is different for me too,” she said softly, “different as in new. I… I don’t have a lot of experience dating.”

Kylo’s brows furrowed. “You don’t?” his voice took on a harder edge.

Rey immediately withdrew her hand from his face. Had she exposed too much?

Kylo must have interpreted the hurt expression on her face, for he was quick to explain.

“I just… I just can’t believe that guys around here wouldn’t be lining up to ask you out…” he said, looking at her intensely. 

Rey snorted on a laugh that snuck up on her. But Kylo’s expression remained the same, apparently he was serious.

“I’m not exactly prime dating material if you haven’t noticed, Kylo,” she said, gesturing at her body up and down, clad in one of her many oil-stained sweatshirts and old, ratty pair of athletic shorts. “And I’m not exactly outgoing, most guys just steer clear of me.”

“Well I think you’re perfect dating material,” Kylo responded seriously, “and I’d wait in line for you any day.”

“Good thing there’s no queue at the moment,” Rey said, with a cheeky smile. “What did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking I’d take you downstate, somewhere where we can get away from the town a bit.”

“I like the sound of that,” Rey said. She scruffed the toe of her shoe into the ground before asking her next question, trying to work up the courage to accept any response that came her way. “Kylo, why are you asking me out?”

“What do you mean?”

Rey kept her eyes focused on her shoe. “I mean, what do you hope to accomplish?”

He stepped toward her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She liked when he did that, it felt like something a friend would do.

“I was kind of hoping to show you how much I like you. Isn’t that what people who care about each other do- try to do things that make the other happy? Spend quality time together?” he asked with a genuine curious tone, as if he was checking to make sure that was actually true.

She hadn’t expected that answer. “We spend a lot of time together…”

“In your shop, and here in the barn. You’re worth more than that, Rey. Can’t you let me show you?”

She grabbed his hand on her shoulder with her own.

“Of course. Nothing too fancy though- I’d stand out like a sore thumb.”

“Whatever you want,” Kylo said.

Rey finally let herself smile. Kylo was taking her out. On a date. Her first real date. And she liked him. She loved him. Then it hit her.

“Are you dating anyone else?” she asked.

“No!” he responded in a rush. “I… I care about _you_ , Rey. There’s something here. At least, that’s how it feels to me…”

“I feel it too” Rey said when he let his statement trail off. She smiled at him, trying to convey with her eyes what her mouth desperately wanted to say.


	14. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey go on an actual date.

He picked her up promptly at 6pm. For the first time, he had stressed over what to wear. He didn’t normally put a lot of thought into his clothes, they were all black anyway. But he wanted to look at least half as good as Rey, even though he knew it wasn’t possible. She was all natural beauty, he was all gangly limbs and moles. He wondered if people were going to stare, if people would wonder why on earth a woman like Rey was with someone like _him_. 

Rey waved to him out of the window of her loft as he pulled up. He got out of the car as she ran downstairs and greeted her at the door of the shop as she locked it behind her. She immediately ran into his arms for a hug, nearly knocking him over.

“Sorry!” she exclaimed, suddenly backing away before he could even return the hug. The first thing he noticed was that her hair was down out of it’s normal three buns.

When he finally got a clear look at her, Kylo’s jaw dropped what felt like a mile open. Rey was wearing a dark grey dress that ended mid-thigh with long sleeves, and was skin-tight all the way through. He thought she was sexy in her motor oil-stained sweats, but this was a whole new level of fantasy.

“Finn got it for me, he made me wear it. It’s stupid” Rey said, noticing what Kylo was staring at, looking down at herself and blushing, nose scrunching up as she glared at her attire.

“I love it,” Kylo blurted out. “I mean, it looks great on you,” he added, embarrassed by his own inability to peel his eyes away from her body. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. He usually had game when it came to talking to women who were clearly just looking for a hook-up, but it had became apparent to him that he had no idea how to flirt with a woman he cared about.

“You mean it’s nicer than the rags I usually wear?” Rey joked, letting out a light, airy laugh.

Kylo looked back up into her eyes. “You know I like you in anything, in every which way” Kylo said in a low voice, leaning towards her.

Rey blushed harder than he had ever seen her do. But he knew she wasn’t one to back down in a flirtatious challenge. “Why did I even get dressed then?” she asked, a coy smile making its way onto her face.

Kylo closed his eyes and groaned. “Let’s get you in the car so I can take you on this date,” he said, trying to hold back appreciative laughter. When he looked at her again, Rey’s face was triumphant.

“After you, miss” he said teasingly, gesturing her toward the car. Rey lifted her head and walked past him. What Kylo wasn’t expecting was for the majority of her dress to be backless. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Kylo had to physically lift his hand and bite on his fist to keep from grunting in desire or making some sort of comment. If there was a God, he was sure making Kylo pay for his sins.

Kylo ran forward and opened the car door for her, plastering on an unaffected smile. He already knew he was going to have a tough time keeping his eyes on the road as they drove out of town.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey’s face hurt. She had always thought people were exaggerating when they complained about their face hurting from smiling so much. But here she was, smiling through dinner like a fool. She realized more with every second how dangerously attached she was growing to Kylo. Every new part of him that she learned about interested her, every part of him felt like he was made for her. Where he was a creator, she was a fixer. Where he had a flair for the dramatic, she was level-headed. Where he was methodical, she was imaginative. And despite all of their differences, they meshed when they spoke about what they wanted out of life. She thought she knew him from the countless hours he had spent in her shop and the days spent working on Han’s cars, but each new fragment he let slip during their conversation compelled and enraptured her. He wasn’t a perfect person, but no one was. She certainly was no one to talk. But he was perfect in every way that mattered to her.

It scared her. She’d never been in a loving relationship that lasted. Her parents had died, then her godfather. Her first real friend moved out of town, leaving her behind. Now, she only had Finn. Should she let herself get lost in Kylo? He would leave town eventually, and she wouldn’t be able to follow him. Plutt was making sure of that. Even now, as part of her smiled, part of her was also dying in the pain of the thought of being left behind by him.

Eventually, they finished their dinner and headed out onto the deck of the restaurant, where there was a nice view and a bar where people were mingling. They stood at the balcony, sharing sweet nothings with each other has they looked at the moon.

“If you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’m just going to use the restroom” Kylo said, quickly planting a kiss on her forehead before excusing himself from their perch. Rey took the opportunity to approach the bar to ask for a glass of water.

“Hey there,” she heard from her left as she waited at the bar.

Rey turned, finding a young man with short brown hair sitting at the bar, clutching a tumbler and giving her a smile.

“Hi,” she said in return, giving him a small smile. She her head back toward the bar, looking to see if the bartender was heading her direction.

“Can I buy you a drink?” the man asked. Rey turned back toward him.

“Actually I’m just getting some water,” she responded. A moment of silence passed. She didn’t know what to say or do, she had never been hit on before. She hoped the conversation would end there, that the bartender would come and save her.

“Alright,” the guy said, with a laugh. “Point taken. What brings you out tonight?”

Rey looked back at him again. The guy had a pleasant smile, and there was kindness in his eyes. He was dressed in jeans and a plain button-down. His shoes were practical, not particularly fashionable. Her instincts told her that he wasn’t a threat.

“Just trying to get away from home for a bit” Rey responded vaguely. She didn’t need to admit she was on a date, he had already conceded to her disinterest. 

“Me too. I was supposed to meet a friend here, but he’s late as usual. Figured I’d strike up a conversation with whoever came up to the bar,” the man replied.

“Do you offer all the people that come up to the bar while you’re here drinks?” Rey said with an eyebrow raised.

“Nope, just the pretty ones,” the man said with a smile, lifting his tumbler toward her before taking a sip.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her back. Assuming it was Kylo, she turned her head around with a smile. However, the face she found was not that of her date’s.

“Tomas!” the man with a hand on her bare back shouted to the man seated at the bar. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing a lady friend!”

Rey quickly wrenched her body away from the stranger’s hand as it started to descend down her back, throwing him the iciest glare she could muster.

“Varan! No- she’s- I don’t know her!” Tomas said, his eyes suddenly widened in panic. He turned back toward Rey, “I’m sorry miss, he…”

“Now, now, Tomas, no need to be embarrassed. She’s a cute one, isn’t she?” the friend interrupted, stalking his way toward Rey. Rey’s fist clenched, a reflex from being picked on my older kids in the foster system- she was always ready to defend herself. She had worn the tight dress at Finn’s insistence, and partly because she had hoped it would drive Kylo crazy. But she was now starting to regret it, feeling entirely exposed and vulnerable. She normally hid in bulky shirts and sweatshirts, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible. Keeping a low profile had always kept her safe in the system. She wished she could fly under the radar now.

“Varan, really. I just met her. Let’s sit and have a drink down here,” Tomas pleaded with his friend, now urgently gesturing him to join him at the other end of the bar. But the new stranger still approached her, and reached a socially unacceptable distance from her.

Rey stared back at the new man, warning him with her eyes not to get too close. She could feel something explosive bottling up inside of her. She hadn’t needed to physically defend herself in years, but she had no doubt that she could take this scrawny man down within seconds if she needed to. She wasn’t scrappy for nothing.

“She looks feisty,” Varan said in a low voice, letting his arms come forward to cage Rey in, with her back against the bar. “I bet we’d have a lot of fun together, you and me, little kitten” he said, with his face close enough for Rey to smell the whiskey on his breath. “I bet-” 

Rey was about to shove him away from her with a _hard_ push when suddenly the man’s shoulder was wrenched back, flinging him away from Rey and the bar. Rey gasped at the sudden aggression. The man was now facing Kylo, who looked like his head could spontaneously combust at any moment. His brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched, Rey could practically see the daggers flying out of his eyes and into the stranger. 

“What the fuck, man?”

“I suggest you leave her alone.” Kylo said, his tone more of a growl than anything else.

“You jealous? I saw her first, bro…”

Rey flinched at the comment, anticipating Kylo’s fist to fly at any second. She had a sense that he was a jealous type, and she knew he had some deep rage problems. She was surprised when all he did was turn his head away for a second and take a deep breath before turning back to him.

“She’s clearly not interested. What makes you think you can treat women like that?”

The drunk stranger didn’t immediately respond. Although they were about the same height, he seemed to have realized how much stronger Kylo was, and recognized the wild ferocity behind his eyes.

“I...-I-”

“I’d prefer not ruining my date tonight, so you’d better turn around and leave before I make you” Kylo threatened. Rey was impressed with his even tone. Although he exuded danger from the outside, she could see the control he was using to keep himself from lashing out. She hoped it would last long enough for them to leave without an altercation.

The man stood there in shock, his eyes darting around, as if looking for either backup or for an exit. The whole bar was now watching the heated exchange.

Kylo finally released his fist, letting go of the man’s shirt he had been holding.

“Consider this a favor. She’s used to fighting scum like you,” Kylo said, cocking his head toward her “and I doubt you’d make it out with your dignity or your ball sac if you touched her again.” 

Rey hadn’t even noticed how she was quivering with rage until then- Kylo was right.

The man turned quickly away from Kylo when he realized his shirt was free, not even sparing a glance at Rey as he left, and practically ran out of the bar.

Kylo finally turned to Rey, making eye contact for the first time throughout the exchange. His expression turned tender, and something about the look in his eyes made Rey melt a little, releasing some of the tension she was holding in her body.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” she said, grabbing his hand and squeezing tightly.

“All right folks, break it up!” the bartender suddenly shouted. “You-” he added, pointing at Kylo, “you’re outta here!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Kylo mumbled as he gently pulled Rey’s hand to lead her out of the bar.

Rey watched the back of his head as he led them through the maze of people. She was honestly pretty shocked that he had remained calm. She knew that she would have been less patient. She was usually very quick to take action, and she had no doubt that she wouldn’t have been able to control herself like Kylo had. Kylo led them to his car without a word. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kylo remained quiet on the long car ride home. He let the radio play, stealing glances over at Rey now and then, trying to assess her mood. He felt ashamed. True, he hadn’t even punched this guy, but he knew that he had used anger and threats as a first response. Did she hate him? Would she hate that part of him- the part that got angry and violent? He was working on controlling it, but he knew it would always be something that would haunt him. He wanted to explain, try to figure out how she was feeling, but couldn’t find the words.

They sat together quietly for a while when Kylo pulled up to the shop, listening to Billie Holiday croon through the speakers, neither of them wanting to break the silence between them. He wanted to say something, anything. Some sort of apology, or maybe a warning that maybe she shouldn’t get involved with him, that he was broken, that he would inevitably end up hurting her.

“Rey, I-...”

Before he could get any more than that out, Rey swung her right leg across the front seat and over him, straddled him with her back against the steering wheel, grabbed his face, and began furiously kissing him. After a moment of shock, Kylo fell into the kiss, grabbing her around the waist and feverishly kissing back. Moving one hand to the back of her head, he pulled his lips off of hers, pecking and kissing and biting down her jaw, onto her neck, desperate to show every bit of skin as much love as he could muster. She deserved no less.

Kylo’s breath hitched when Rey ground herself down on his crotch. His eyes nearly rolled back into his head just from the one movement. His hands grasped her thighs, gripping hard. Rey threw her head back, continuing to shift her hips against his, her dress riding up indecently high. She let out a little moan, and Kylo had never heard anything so sweet in his life. He brought his lips back up to hers, desperate to feel any more sounds she would make against his mouth.

Rey gripped his hair and pulled hard, causing Kylo to groan in pain and in ecstasy. She moved her mouth to his throat, peppering a few light kisses before finding a spot that she seemed to like and sucking hard. He wanted it to bruise. He would take any marks she would give him.

After a moment she pulled her mouth off of the fully suctioned spot. She brought her face back even with his. She let out a small sigh, still holding onto his head via the firm grasp of his hair. He was still holding her thighs, too overwhelmed to do anything else.

“Fuck, sorry,” she whispered suddenly, “I got carried away really quickly.”

Kylo looked at her for a moment, confused as to why in the world she was apologizing. She was still looking at him, as though she was trying to read his face.

“I just- I don’t know what came over me,” she whispered, “no one has ever defended me before. No one has ever cared. I guess I was just trying to show you how thankful I am.” She closed her eyes and scrunched her face, clearly in embarrassment.

Kylo then quickly caught onto what she was saying. 

“Rey- trust me. You never have to apologize for kissing me,” he said quietly, trying hard but failing to keep the smile off of his face. He never thought someone would even _want_ to kiss him like that, to show him how they _felt_ about him.

“I am more concerned with how I acted at the bar. My anger definitely got away from me. I thought maybe I had scared you.”

Rey cocked her head, looking at him with confusion.

“I thought you were actually pretty calm,” she responded, “why are you concerned?”

Kylo hung his head.

“I hate that I’m always the person to make a scene. And I don’t want you to have to deal with my issues.”

Rey laughed softly. “Kylo, if you hadn’t made a scene, trust me- I would have.”

Kylo’s eyebrows raised.

“We’re both pretty messed up. So forgive me if I won’t allow you to ruin this by playing the broken, socially inept loner. We get to share that honor” she said, removing her hands from his hair and moving them to gently hold his face. He closed his eyes. He wished he could stay like this forever, with her holding him.

“I love you” he said in a broken voice, unable to hold it back any longer. He kept his eyes closed. He couldn’t look at her, he couldn’t bring himself to look as she rejected him.

After a moment of silence, he felt her lean forward, and her lips brushing his ear.

“I love you, Kylo,” she whispered, bring a strong surge of warmth to his heart, “and that scares me.”

She pulled her head back to look at him. Kylo had never seen someone look at him the way she was looking at him now. He felt his eyes become moist.

“I want to…” she whispered, shifting her hips against his again, reminding him that he was still hard. “But I’ve never…” she trailed off.

“You’ve never…?” Kylo asked, shocked.

Rey bit her lip and shook her head, blushing again. “No one ever… I was alone for so long and… I mean you’re the first person to want me…”

Kylo quieted her with a light kiss on her nose. He was flabbergasted. She was the sexiest woman on the planet to him, he simply couldn’t believe that she had never been wanted like that. It had never crossed his mind that she may not have ever had sex. He suddenly became very worried about rushing her.

“We don’t have to…” he whispered hurriedly.

“I want to,” she interrupted, “I just… don’t have experience.”

“Let’s not rush it, then,” Kylo said. He felt her sigh of relief on his face before he went back in for another gentle kiss.


	15. Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone meets for Sunday dinner, and plans to liberate Rey from Plutt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, I'm drowning in fluff. Not to worry, we'll be alleviating some of that with real, official SMUT in the next chapter. ;]

For the first time in years, Kylo slept in, just laying in bed as the sunlight poured through the window. He could hear Leia downstairs making breakfast in the kitchen. The familiar buzz of the coffee grinder, the tell-tale sound of the cabinet closing and a clink of a plate onto the counter. He smiled. It was incredible the way the mind remembers the sounds and smells of your childhood so vividly. He wishes for once that he would hear the grumbling and padded footsteps of Han making his way down the stairs once the smell of coffee reached the second floor. 

He leaped out of bed, determined to give Leia the sound of footsteps on the stairwell. He ran downstairs and into the kitchen.

“Good morning, honey,” she smiled, grabbing for the bread to make toast.

He went up to her and hugged her. 

“Well someone’s in a good mood this morning…” she said with a laugh, loading a few slices into the toaster. “I take it your date with Rey went well?”

Kylo froze. He had told his mother that he was going downstate yesterday to meet with a potential buyer for some of Han’s cars. He wasn’t exactly lying- he did have plans to meet with a guy later that week. But he hadn’t wanted to tell Leia what was going on between him and Rey. It was too sacred to him, too new, too unlike anything he had ever felt before. The mere thought of Rey made him want to quit his job, leave Chicago, and take her anywhere she wanted to go. It was scary.

“Please, honey, I’m your mother. I know everything. Don’t think I didn’t know what you two were doing out in that pole barn for weeks,” she added, not even bothering to look at him as she cracked a few eggs into a pan.

Kylo blushed what he was sure was the most tomato-y red he’s ever been.

“Are you treating her well? Like a gentleman?” Leia asked, pointing her spatula at Kylo.

“Of course,” he blurted out.

“Good. She’s special to a lot of people around here, you know. Although I don’t think she knows it,” Leia turned back to the eggs on the stove.

“Mom,” Kylo said.

“Yes?”

“I love her.”

“Oh, honey, any fool could see that. You’re not exactly subtle.”

Seriously, was there anything Leia didn’t know?

“The question is, what are you going to do about it?” Leia asked, pulling the eggs out of the frying pan.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said, pulling the toast out of the toaster, “have you thought about what you’ll do when you go back to Chicago? Long-distance relationships are hard, sometimes impossible.”

To be honest, he hadn’t really thought about it. There was no way he could do long distance. He couldn’t even bear to be apart from her for more than a day.

“I… don’t know.”

“Well I suggest you think about it, and talk to her. You’ll have to deal with me if you break her heart,” Leia threatened, picking up her plate and walking past Kylo to the dining room.

“I won’t. I could never…” he protested.

“Don’t forget Sunday dinner at Maz and Chewie’s tonight!” she shouted from the dining room table.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey smiled the entire bike ride over to Maz and Chewie’s the day after the date. Kylo loved her. _Her_. She had already known that she loved him, but to hear him say it in return made it feel like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. She now understood all those sappy love songs, all those happy ending rom-coms. Not only were their souls in sync, but _God_ he was hot. She had wanted to rip her dress off the moment she straddled him in the car. She had wanted to tear his shirt off of him and claw her way down to his pants, moving layers of clothing out of the way until she could seat herself fully on him, taking every inch of his cock. She knew he was big, she had felt it through his pants under her.

But she had chickened out. That’s what she was, a giant chicken. She had never had sex, and the casual fun that seemed to accompany a teenager’s first time was long behind her. She was 20 now, and somehow she felt like it meant more. Especially if it was with someone she loved. If it went badly, it wasn’t someone she could just avoid for all of eternity in embarrassment. She couldn’t blame it on young stupidity. She wanted it to be good with Kylo, she wanted to live up to his expectations. He had seemed quite surprised when she told him she was a virgin, it made panic course through her veins, anticipating his disappointment. He told her that they shouldn’t rush, which made her worry. Did he not want her as much now that he knew she wasn’t experienced? She had been willing to go all the way right there in that car, that’s how impatient she had become with their physical relationship. Just sitting on the bike seat was enough to get her going at this point. But he seemed to be avoiding it for some reason, avoiding going further with her. She tried to quell any doubt about his feelings for her. She would just have to ask him what he wanted.

She pulled up to the farm she loved and leaned her bike against the fence in front of the main house, not bothering to lock it. She really didn’t need to lock the bike anywhere in town, everyone knew each other and would recognize her bike, but she always did anyway, a protective habit formed in the foster system. 

“Rey!” she heard Chewie shout from the horse stable. She flashed him a giant smile as she ran over. He had been house-ridden with health problems for several years, it was great to see him back at work on the farm. 

“Hey Chewie!” she said. “Thanks for inviting me over today! It will be nice to hang out.”

“No problem, young one,” Chewie said as he continued brushing their oldest mare’s mane. “Maz also wanted to speak with… about your problem.”

Rey’s heart suddenly sank. It wasn’t like she had forgotten about Plutt’s threats. She stayed up most nights worried about Finn. But Kylo had been a _very_ good distraction. She had no idea when Plutt was going to make her drive his ‘inventory’, but she knew the longer she waited, the more likely it would be to get tied into his illegal activity. She needed to act, but was also scared about potentially putting Finn in danger. Not to mention, herself. Plutt hadn’t hit her in years, not since she had grown and become strong enough to defend herself, but there was no telling what he or his cronies would do if he found out she was trying to deceive him.

“Yes. I need to talk to her.” 

“We will take care of you, Rey,” Chewie said as he left the mare’s stall and closed the gate behind him.

She and Chewie chatted about her work on Han’s cars as they made their way back to the main house. 

“Better you than me, I spent too many damn years on those things,” he laughed. 

“Good, you’re here,” Maz said as they entered the house. “Help me put a leaf in the dining room table, will you?”

“Sure,” Rey said. “What’s the occasion?”

“Sunday dinner tonight. Leia and Ben are coming. You’re staying too.”

Rey’s heart jumped a bit hearing his name, his real name. She knew him as Kylo, but she was getting to know Ben more and more from Leia and Chewie and Maz.

“I have a plan for your Plutt situation.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo and Leia pulled up to the farm later that evening. He was finally ready to do Sunday dinners again. He wasn’t angry with Maz anymore, he couldn’t even really remember why he had been originally. And he figured if Leia knew about him and Rey, Maz and Chewie definitely knew too. At least he could take advantage of it and ask for advice. They had all been in very long-lasting relationships, after all. 

As they parked and got out of the car, Kylo spotted Rey’s bike leaning up against the fence. Oh no. What were they doing? He looked over at Leia, who was looking over at him with a knowing look. Whatever was going on, she was in on it.

Kylo let out a sigh. Well, here went nothing.

When they entered the house, Maz appeared, loudly greeting Leia and pulling her in for a hug. Chewie slapped Kylo on the back before petting Leia on the head.

Maz gave a pointed look at Kylo and said, “Good. You’re here. We need you.” She then grabbed the pie he made out of his hands and walked toward the kitchen.

There was Rey, leaning against the doorway of the kitchen, giving him a huge smile. His chest tightened and heart heated up whenever she looked at him that way. 

Maz beckoned them all to the dining room as she, Chewie, and Rey brought all of the dishes out. Kylo hoped he would sit next to Rey, but she ended up across the table from him.

“Now, we’ve got an issue to work out,” Maz said as she sat down and began spooning mashed potatoes onto her plate. “Plutt’s started to get Finn and Rey spun into whatever crooked stuff he does on the side. And I simply won’t allow it.”

Kylo looked between Maz, Leia, and Chewie. Apparently they all knew about Rey’s situation. Finally, he looked at Rey. She was looking down at her lap, face red with embarrassment. He knew she hated asking for help. She never wanted to be a burden on someone else, never was able to see that people who loved her genuinely wanted to help her. He tried to speak into her mind, telling her to look at him. He wanted to show her how much he loved her.

“Now,” Maz continued, “we all know that Sheriff Ashukuwo is buddy-buddy with Plutt, so we’ll have to move this operation downstate. Now I’ve got a few friends of mine who are ex-NYPD who now work for Maine State Police. Depending on what exactly is involved, especially if it does indeed cross state lines, the feds will get involved. I also called an old pal of mine at Witness Protection. For his own protection, Finn should be kept in the dark about this. We don’t actually know exactly who Plutt’s connections are, he could be bluffing. So we need to keep Finn’s identity quiet so that he won’t need to be reassigned if everything goes well.”

She certainly knew what she was doing, Kylo thought. He had heard stories from Maz about her days as NYPD Chief of Detectives, but he had never seen her in action. This was as close as he was going to get.

“Now Rey, my friends at MSP weren’t too happy about it, but they’ve agreed to wait to check out Plutt until we know he’s up to something. They owed me a favor, and I don’t want him getting away with anything, I want him going to prison when they get him. I’ve been waiting a long time to see that guy pay.”

Rey nodded. Kylo could practically see her wringing her hands under the table. She always did that when she was nervous. But her face was fierce. Her face showed that she was ready for a fight. 

“We will all need to be vigilant while waiting for Plutt to ask Rey to drive his inventory. Because as soon as she calls me, we will all need to go into action. Ben, you’ll meet Rey just outside of town once she has picked up the car. I don’t want her alone for any more than a few minutes. You’re a lawyer, so pull your lawyer crap and don’t let anyone get away with messing with her. Or pretend you’re a thug or something.”

Kylo nodded at Maz. He would always be there for Rey, defend her if he had too. To be honest, he wouldn’t have to change much to look like a thug. He was big enough, and his entirely black wardrobe didn’t hurt.

“Chewie and I will be driving downstate separately and meet up with MSP, hopefully at whatever address Plutt gives Rey. Ben, we will be calling you with a plan to meet up.”

Kylo nodded again.

“I’ll be getting a hold of Finn,” Leia said. “He and I got to know each other when he first moved to town and was getting all of his things settled with town hall. I’ll keep an eye on him, make him come to the house if I have too.”

“Offer him homemade macaroni and cheese,” Rey said, with a small smile. “He literally cannot say no.”

Everyone gave her a soft smile. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

They spent the rest of dinner working on their plan. Maz knew how corrupt local forces could be, and she didn’t trust the town sheriff’s office when it came to Plutt, he had been getting away with stuff for years. She also warned Rey and Ben not to do anything stupid or try anything themselves. This was a job for the police and the feds. If anything got sketchy, they were to drive to the nearest police station or call 911.

After a while, everything was settled. Rey looked around the table at the people who cared enough to help her. _Her family_ , she thought with a small burst in her heart. Maz and Chewie, the foster parents she never had, Leia, the female mentor she wished she had grown up with. And Kylo, her love. His eyes caught hers, and he gave her a smile. She couldn’t help but return it. She didn’t care if the others saw. She was too in love.

Suddenly, Chewie cleared his throat with a loud, slightly howling sound. Everyone’s attention turned to him.

“So, you two kids going to tell us when the wedding is?”

She and Kylo immediately went Maine lobster red. 

“What?” Rey choked.

She whirled a look around at Kylo, whose face was now buried in his hands.

“They know,” he groaned.

“They know what?” she asked.

“That you two are together,” Maz interjected with a wink.

“Oh.”

Leia laughed. That feeling of family which had engulfed Rey a second ago was now gone. Now she was embarrassed, and a bit angry.

“Can we not talk about it?” Kylo asked from behind his hands. Rey relaxed a little looking at him. If possible, he looked more embarrassed than her. She figured he probably had to deal with their teasing about girls his entire life. 

“Now Rey,” Maz said, “if he’s ever mean to you, punch him hard in the stomach and then come to me.”

“Maz…” Kylo whined.

Rey laughed instead. “He could never be mean to me. He’s a pushover.”

“Hey!”

“Well you are!”

“Only for you.”

“All right, all right,” Leia said, pushing back from the table and clearing some dishes, “get a room.”

Rey blushed again, throwing Kylo what she hoped was a reprimanding glare. She too pushed back, grabbing dishes and heading to the kitchen, leaving Maz, Chewie, and Kylo at the table.

“You know,” Leia said as she entered the kitchen, “I’ve never seen Ben so smitten.”

Rey stayed silent. She had never spoken to another woman besides Maz about her feelings before. 

“I hope I’m not embarrassing you too much. You’re family, dear,” Leia said, giving her a one-sided squeeze.

“I’ve never been so smitten either,” Rey admitted quietly, whispering so that no one else could hear. 

“Then don’t let him get away. You know him, he’s so insecure. He’ll be afraid you don’t love him. He’s always been that way.”

Rey saw sadness creep into Leia’s eyes. She knew he probably had thought at times that Leia didn’t love him, even though she knew that wasn’t even remotely possible. 

Rey squeezed her back. “I won’t,” she said, “I can’t.”

Leia smiled at her.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So what’s your plan?” Chewie asked as soon as Rey had left the dining room.

“For what?” Kylo asked.

“For Rey!” Maz exclaimed. “You keep telling us you’re going to be going back to Chicago, but what about her?”

Kylo sighed. “I really don’t know, to be honest.”

Maz and Chewie let him think for a moment.

“I know I can’t be apart from her.”

“Good. She’s good for you,” said Maz. 

“Maybe after Plutt is taken care of, you two can figure something out,” Chewie suggested.

“Mm,” agreed Maz, “yes. Let’s make sure she’s safe first. She’s coming to live with us after that whole ordeal.”

“Does she know that?” Kylo asked. He couldn’t imagine her easily allowing them to help her in that way.

“No. But she is,” Maz affirmed. 

Leia and Rey emerged from the kitchen, with Kylo’s pie and dessert plates. Kylo savored every bite, looking at each of his loved ones. Rey was part of their family now, there was nothing she could do about that. He hoped they could be even half as good as the family she imagined she would have. 

He watched her take giant forkfuls of the pie and stuff it in her mouth, unable to eat slowly. He loved that about her, he thought it was cute. He saw Maz and Chewie glance at her lovingly, as if she was the daughter they never had. Lastly, he made eye contact with Leia, who sent him a knowing and loving smile. If this got any more fluffy, he was going to pass out.

He cleared his throat and got his family’s attention. Chewie had been jokingly trying to steal pie from Rey’s plate, which made her shovel it into her mouth even faster, with Maz urging him to leave the poor girl alone.

“I, um, I’ve been thinking,” he started nervously, avoiding eye contact with anyone. He didn’t want to see their smug expressions. “I was thinking maybe I’ll move back home. Well, not _home _home. Maybe Boston? That’s not too far. I think- I wish- if Dad…” he started choking up. What was happening? What he about to cry?__

__“I mean,” he said, shaking his head back and forth to alleviate the pressure, “there’s not much for me in Chicago anyway. And it makes more sense for me to be around here. You know, logistically.”_ _

__Everyone was silent for a moment. He expected Leia or Maz to start gloating any moment, reminding him of his words that he would never stay in the town again. Technically, he still didn’t want to. But he didn’t want to be far away from his family anymore, that much he knew. You never knew how much time you had left. He had always assumed he would make up with Han, that there was going to come a day far in the future that he would visit and make amends. But that day never came. He didn’t want to be gone the next time something happened._ _

__Instead of gloating, Leia whispered, “Are you sure, honey?”_ _

__He still couldn’t look at her._ _

__“Yeah, I am,” he said solemnly._ _

__“Well, you know I’ll be happy no matter where you live,” she said, “as long as you call me.”_ _


	16. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo get it on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited smut has arrived. If only the joy could last.

When the night grew late, and everyone said their goodbyes, Rey insisted to Maz and Chewie that she didn’t need to stay the night, that she wanted to get home. Kylo offered to walk with her and her bike, and she accepted. They started their way down the long dirt drive away from the farm, then turned onto the gravel road. 

“I can’t believe you’d want to give up a life in Chicago to come here,” Rey said.

“I like Chicago,” Kylo responded, “and I can always go back, but I think I need to be around here for a while, at least within a few hours’ radius.”

“For Leia?”

“For all of you.”

Rey was silent at that, looking down at the gravel, brows furrowing. Kylo hoped she knew what he meant- that she was a part of the family that he wanted to be closer to. 

“Kylo?” she suddenly asked in a soft voice.

“Yes?”

“What should I do?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean… what should I do after this is over… if Plutt really goes to prison, or at least if I can leave him.”

“Well, you told me you wanted to travel, right? And go to university? Do you still want to do those things?”

“Yes…” she said hesitantly.

Kylo gave her time to think. The selfish part of him wanted to keep her to himself, whether that meant keeping her by his side near home, or following her wherever she went. He knew that neither of those things were really possible. There was no way he would ever even consider suggesting putting her dreams of traveling on hold to stay behind with him. And he did want to stay nearby for Leia and Maz and Chewie, so he couldn’t move across the country with her if that’s where she ended up at school.

“I want to do those things,” she said slowly after a minute, “but I don’t want to do anything without you there too.”

Kylo’s head had never turned faster. He looked for her eyes, but they were still pointed downwards, a blush of embarrassment visible on her cheeks even in the evening darkness, seemingly ashamed of making the confession.

Kylo stopped them with a hand on her arm before moving his hands to her cheeks.

“I don’t want to do anything without you either,” he admitted. “But I also don’t want to hold you back…”

Rey laughed at that, leaving Kylo to raise his eyes in confusion. “Ben Solo, you couldn’t hold me back even if you tried,” she said, looking into his eyes lovingly before reaching her own hand up to his face, running her thumb under his eye.

Kylo snorted. “Ben Solo, huh? You’ve been spending too much time with Maz and Chewie.”

“Maybe,” she responded with a smile, “I like both of your names. Both suit you depending on the time of day.”

“You’re welcome to call me either,” Kylo said seriously. He preferred Kylo, but he was glad Rey knew about his real name, it gave her a deeper connection to him. His real name sounded soft on her voice. For the first time in years, it felt like the name fit him again.

Kylo took her bike from her, wheeling it beside them with one hand as he held Rey’s hand in his other before continuing walking toward her shop.

“We will have to figure it out together, I suppose.”

“I suppose so,” she said. “So are you going to quit your job in Chicago?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I’ll have to find a new law firm somewhere around here, maybe downstate. Maybe Boston.”

“Will you take me to Chicago before you move?”

Kylo smiled over at her. “Of course. I told you I’d take you on a pizza date, remember?” 

“Oh yeah!” she said, her face lighting up with the memory of the first time he met her on the soccer field. “You’re my deep dish hero.”

They approached the shop and Rey opened the garage briefly to roll her bike inside. Kylo didn’t want to leave yet. He felt a new phase of his life was starting. One where he was close with his family. One where he was in love, and that person was in love with him in return. He didn’t want the night to end. He leaned against the garage door, trying to think of an excuse to stay.

Rey beat him to it. “Want to stargaze?”

“Yes,” he said too quickly. He remembered the first time they stargazed on the roof of the garage, the first time he had held her in his lap, and had promised to show her the Northern Lights one day. That was before he knew that Plutt was the one threatening her. 

They made their way up the stairs to her loft, holding hands and sneaking glances at each other. Kylo had never felt so full, so safe than when he was with her. He felt simultaneously unstoppable and completely vulnerable. She made him happy, made him scared, made him passionate, made him protective.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they entered the apartment, Rey turned to Kylo before closing the door. She stood on her tiptoes and laid a soft kiss on his lips. There was so much that she wanted to say to him. She was amazed when Kylo had told everyone that he would be moving back home permanently. A small selfish part of her hoped it was for her. At first, she was elated. He wouldn’t be leaving her behind. But her elation quickly came crashing down when she remembered that she was the one who wanted to leave. During their walk home, she had asked him what she should do. He told her that she should follow her dreams- to travel and go to university. At first, she was hurt that he didn’t immediately ask her to stay with him. But she sucked up her courage, and for once put herself on the line first, and told him she wanted to be with him, whatever that may mean. Thankfully, he returned the sentiment. The look in his eyes didn’t lie. He felt just as strongly for her as she did for him.

Closing the door behind him, she continued raining little kisses along his lips and jaw. She heard his breath catch, then let out a loving sigh. She never imagined she would be able to make anyone feel that way. He brought his hands carefully up to her face, cradling it as he deepened the kisses. She would never tire of kissing him.

Kylo pulled away from her lips an inch. “Did you still want to starga-”

“Fuck stargazing,” Rey responded, pulling his mouth back to hers, latching her arms tight around his neck.

Kylo groaned in return, running his hands down her ass, hooking his hands around her thighs, and lifting her up to hold her around his waist. They continued kissing, letting their mouths explore each other’s, occasionally parting for air. Kylo made his way to her small couch, laying her down gently before gingerly climbing on top of her. She noticed how careful he was being, not putting too much weight on her, not lining up his core with hers. She frowned in frustration. She didn’t want gentleness. She wanted passion. She wrapped her arms around his back and pulled as hard as she could, bringing his body into full contact with hers. Kylo let out a gasp against her mouth, then a quiet growl.

“Someone’s impatient,” he said with a smirk.

“Always,” she responded, doing her best to give him a determined glare, making it clear what she wanted.

Kylo chuckled in that low voice of his before setting his mouth back on hers, giving her an impossibly gentle kiss. She whined in frustration when he pulled away and ducked his head next to hers.

“Rey…” he said in a husky, strained voice against her ear. “I want you… I don’t know if I can… we gotta slow down or else…”

“Or else what?” she asked in an equally breathy voice.

“I… I’ll want to go all the way with you…”

“So do it.”

He looked at her from above, brows furrowed, his hair brushing her face.

“You want to?” he asked.

Rey grabbed his ass in impatience, making him hiss above her.

“Kylo I’ve wanted you since you first kissed me in your pole barn. I wanted you on the hood of that Camaro,” she said, completely shocked by her own explicit confession. Kylo groaned.

“I’ve just never done this before, I didn’t want your expectations to be too high,” she added.

Kylo’s eyes changed at that. They softened, and he lowered his head again, nuzzling it into her neck.

“Rey, my only expectations are for you to be you, nothing else. I love you the way you are.”

Rey’s heart gave an explosive palpation at that. She had never felt so… loved. She kissed the top of his head that was next to her lips and ran her hands up and down his back. Kylo began to mouth at her neck, sucking lightly before laying gentle kisses. Slowly, he started biting, but Rey found that she enjoyed the sting, enjoyed the feeling of being marked by him. And she was right, that fantasy she had all those weeks ago of him biting came true. He was simultaneously tooth-achingly sweet and erotically intense.

She started rolling her hips under his, desperate to feel his erection against her. She was ready. His hips bucked against hers, seemingly of their own accord, his body seeking her warmth. She felt the hard length of him vividly, and couldn’t hold back a moan at the size and rigidity. Her hands carded through his soft hair, pulling whenever he gave a particularly hard nip on her neck.

“Kylo,” she said after a few agonizing minutes of feeling him on top of her.

“Mm,” he responded, mouth still attached to her neck.

“Bed. Now.”

Without a word, he sprang up off of the couch and grabbed her under her back and legs, carrying her bridal-style over to her bed. He tried to gently lay her down again, but she immediately swung her legs around when she was seated on the bed and began yanking at his shirt. She didn’t have the patience for carefulness. 

Kylo, still standing, laughed as he helped her get his shirt off. She was just as stunned at his body as she was the first time she saw it. She immediately felt her center moisten even more.

“Do you…” she began to ask.

“What?”

“Do you have…”

“Oh!” he exclaimed. Reaching into his pants for his wallet and pulling out a condom. 

Rey raised a brow. She was _very_ happy he had one on him, but decided to tease him anyway.

“Always have one on hand, do you?”

“No,” he answered with a serious face, “I put one in there after you crawled into my lap the other day.”

Rey giggled. “That’s fair, I suppose.” 

She reached his hands back towards him, wiggling her fingers to tell him to get back within her reach. He smilingly obliged, bringing his hands up to her hair. He began to slowly work her hair out of her three buns. She bristled at how gentle he was, his hands against her scalp felt amazing. He was introducing her to so many sensations that it made her want to cry. Instead she reached for his belt, slowly unbuckling it. She wanted to savor every moment of seeing him for the first time. He finished releasing her hair the same time as she threw his belt on the ground. 

“I want to see you too,” Kylo said lowly. But he didn’t reach for her clothing, he looked nervous, his usual smug confidence gone. Wasn’t he experienced? Why was he nervous?

“Then why don’t you take my clothes off?” she asked, completely aware of how breathy her voice was.

She saw his Adam’s apple bob as he gave a hard swallow. He looked into her eyes for her approval before slowly stripping her shirt off.

She knew she wasn’t sexy. She wasn’t the most hideous person on the planet, but she knew she had flaws. Scars from reckless accidents from childhood, rib cage a bit too visible, breasts too small. To make matters worse, she was wearing a sports bra, not exactly exuding sex appeal. 

But Kylo didn’t seem to mind any of those flaws. He sunk to his knees in front of her where she was sitting on the bed. He laid gentle kisses along her collarbone, hands ghosting over her bare waist. Just as he had all those weeks ago on the hood of the Camaro, his hands made their way up to just under her breasts. Back then, she had been spooked, and asked him to slow down. Now, she wanted nothing more than his hands on her. He starting running his fingers under the bottom band of her sports bra. She ripped it off over her head for him, exposing her chest. His eyes widened before he moved his head back to her, placing open-mouthed kisses on one breast, then the other. She anchored her hands behind her on the bed, allowing her to arch her back and lean her chest into him. Her breasts weren’t really sensitive under her own touch, but his hot breath and moist tongue felt incredible and caused shivers to radiate down her spine. His hands were gripping her thighs tightly around her jeans. Suddenly, her pants were feeling very constricting, but she didn’t want to interrupt the bliss she was feeling from his mouth around her nipple.

She let out a soft moan, overwhelmed with all of the sensations. Kylo’s mouth moved from her chest back up to her mouth, capturing her lips again before giving light tugs at the belt loops on her jeans. She quickly undid the button and zipper, grabbing his hands to place them on the waist of the pants so he could start pulling them down. She was also wearing distinctly unsexy underwear, but she found that she really didn’t care at the moment. She was too busy enjoying the feeling of Kylo’s skin as her hands roamed his broad chest. He was warm, and she could practically feel energy humming beneath his skin. It felt like their energies were connected.

Once he pulled her jeans off of her, he quickly started pulling his own off. Whereas he had been the patient one minute ago, Rey now saw his desperation, his impatience. She smiled as she helped him out of his pants, and immediately put her hand against his hard cock through his underwear. She’d been waiting so long to feel it that it came as a natural instinct. She looked up to see Kylo’s eyes blown wide, and a slight blush form on his cheeks. She slowly leaned forward to place a light kiss on his member through his black boxer briefs before scooting back onto the bed, beckoning him with her eyes to follow her. He immediately followed, turning her lengthwise onto the bed and settling himself on top of her. Without as many clothes, his body against hers felt even better. Rey truly was left speechless by the feeling. She kissed him again, not bothering to smother her occasional moans and whimpers as their crotches made contact. 

“Rey”, Kylo said against her lips. She cut him off, unwilling to be apart from his lips for more than a millisecond.

“Rey,” he repeated in a pleading tone.

“Yes, my love?”

“I need to… I need to be inside you.”

Rey stopped kissing at that, looking at him for a moment, panting under him all the while. 

“Fuck me then already, will you?” she teased. She was more than ready.

After a moment of shock and then a loud guffaw of laughter, Kylo reached down and completely ripped her panties down the side and threw the scraps over his shoulder. Rey’s jaw dropped. His aggression was everything she imagined. She’d always liked things rough.

Then, he less gracefully shimmied off his own underwear, nearly falling off of the bed as he tried to unhook it from one foot. He tore the condom packet open, rolling on the condom as quickly as he could.

He laid back on top of her, but didn’t push himself into her like she expected. She felt something brush along her folds, making her jump a bit. She realized it was Kylo’s fingers. She relaxed, and gave him an encouraging smile. She closed her eyes as she felt his fingers stroke along for a while, before she felt his thumb work his way toward her clitoris. She gasped when he made first contact. For some reason, someone else’s fingers made everything feel a thousand times more sensitive than her own. He rubbed there slowly, still teasing her folds with his other fingers. He was breathing hard against her neck now, clearly showing restraint. 

“Keep going,” she whispered in his ear. 

He groaned as he slipped a finger inside of her. It didn’t hurt, she had her own fingers up there plenty of times. But his were certainly longer, and she whimpered in pleasure when she felt his finger reach a new depth within her. He quickly added a second, realizing that she was more than ready. He alternated between pumping them in and out of her and grazing his fingertips along her walls hard, sending her heart to beat faster, making her breath become heavier. His thumb was still doing its best attempt at staying at her clit. Rey bit at Kylo’s earlobe whenever he got a stroke just right. She was loving this, but getting impatient. Feeling his erection against her, it was like her vagina was aching to have it inside of her.

“Kylo,” she breathed against his ear, “I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, still fingering her.

“Now. I need you.”

Kylo kissed the side of her head before bring his hand back up to the other side of her head, holding himself up on his forearms so that he could look into her eyes. His expression was soft around the edges. Big, swollen lips slightly parted, forming a small smile. But his eyes read as straight passion. Rey grabbed his face, giving him a kiss before spreading her legs apart even further. He pulled a hand away from her side, grabbing his cock and gently leading it to her folds. She let out a breath when she felt it made contact. It felt so right. 

She watched Kylo furrow his eyebrows in concentration as he rubbed the tip along her folds a few times before pushing it slightly into her. She saw him scan her face for a reaction. She realized he was making sure she wasn’t in too much pain. She gave him an encouraging smile. He pushed further in, and Rey felt her walls start to grasp him, making him falter some of his balance over her, obviously overwhelmed by the sensation. Rey tried her best to relax her muscles, grabbing his ass to push him all the way into her. It was definitely uncomfortable, but not as painful as she expected, especially given how large he was. It felt like when she got her first pap smear, but a lot softer and bigger. It felt like a tremendous pressure pushing down on her. She wasn’t particularly enjoying it at the moment, but it wasn’t terrible. 

Kylo was still scanning her face, apparently waiting for her to say something. She loved the way his eyes always searched her, as if trying to read her mind. Sometimes she felt like he could, the intense way he stared at her. She knew she stared just as intensely back at him. They both were always wanting to connect with one another.

Rey experimentally tried to relax and re-engage her walls, testing the feel of him inside of her. He let out a hiss and closed his eyes. She felt bad that he was having to hold back for her. The pressure was starting to release a bit, she didn’t feel like a stuffed turkey anymore. She rolled her hips a little, seeing if it hurt to move him in and out of her. It wasn’t bad. If anything, it felt good when her vagina grasped him in again. 

Kylo started gently rolling against her, taking himself out just by half an inch, then slowly sliding back in. After a few moments, the pressure alleviated and she started noticing all the other sensations. All of the ridges of his cock brushing various spots within her. It sent an electrical current all the way up her body and into her jaw. She started rolling more intensely against him, making his penis come out of her even more before pushing back in. She kept her eyes on his, trying to communicate everything she was feeling through her face. He was looking at her with adoration, the same expression he wore the first time she realized how much he cared for her. That look made Rey whimper, which spurred Kylo on to push into her more quickly, and deeper.

They kept a steady rhythm, each wanting to last as long as they could. They only had one condom, after all. Rey could feel a different pressure within her building, one that was far more pleasurable. As he continued to thrust deeper, Kylo laid more down onto her, putting his face back down on the pillow, whispering adorations into her ear. Rey alternated between letting him slam into her and gripping him as tightly as she could, clawing at his back.

“Rey…”

“Kylo…” she whispered, “I’m so close…”

Kylo’s pace seemed to involuntarily quicken at that. He reached a hand down to find her clit. After a few strokes, he felt her convulse as his thumb grazed it, and focused on it while still haphazardly pumping into her. He mouthed at her ear, sometimes biting at the cartilage, sometimes whispering _I love you_ s into it. 

Rey was letting out loud shouts and moans by now, overwhelmed by the feeling of him pumping inside of her and his thumb on her clit. Her vision was starting to blur, she couldn’t keep her eyes from rolling back into her head.

“Kylo,” she moaned loudly, unable to say anything else. “Kylo.”

Kylo grunted as he gave a particularly hard thrust, one that made her whole body move up further onto the bed toward the headboard. He was also letting out sounds, loud grunts and moans as she could tell he was trying desperately to get her off before coming himself.

She lost track of space and time as the feeling escalated, and everything went quiet for a moment before suddenly fireworks detonated behind her eyes and her whole body arched off of the bed. She let out a scream as her walls clamped down on Kylo’s cock, electrifying every nerve ending in her body for a few seconds. Kylo ripped his hand away from her clit and used it to hold himself back up, reinstating a renewed vigor into pumping into her furiously.

“Rey,” he shouted as she wailed.

Rey felt her body coming back down from outerspace and Kylo raised himself even higher, starting at her bouncing tits as he slammed against her again and again. After a few moments, she felt him shudder against her, and felt an unfamiliar sensation of a new warmth inside of her, although it didn’t reach as high as she would have liked. She continued to pant as he gave phantom thrusts, like a runner jogging a lap to cool down after a race. When it looked like his body couldn’t take any more, he collapsed on top of her, gracelessly smashing his lips against hers. She felt him go soft inside of her, but didn’t want him to pull out. She wanted him here, with her, forever. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, flexing her inner muscles one last time to feel his member inside of her. He moaned quietly at the feeling.

After a few sloppy kisses and a minute of heavy breathing later, Kylo pulled out of her carefully. She felt a slight sting as he exited. She would be sore tomorrow. But for now, she reached out for him once he removed the condom and made his way back towards her.

“Rey,” he whispered as he laid next to her, wrapping her in his arms. “That was…”

“So fucking amazing,” she interrupted.

Kylo let out that low chuckle of his into her hair. “Yeah. It was.”

“You’ve got a giant dick,” she said, starting to feel the soreness down there.

“Sorry, I guess. Are you ok?”

“Absolutely,” she answered a little too loudly.

He laughed again, nuzzling his nose against hers. His serious expression returned.

“I’ve never done that with someone I loved before,” he admitted.

Rey felt her eyes water up. Kylo deserved love, and she would give him all of the love she had to offer. 

“I want to do that with you for the rest of forever,” she said quietly, starting to become _very_ tired. She couldn’t hold back a yawn. 

“Am I boring you, sweetheart?”

“No, you just wore me out,” she answered, slightly headbutting his big nose.

“I’m worn out too. Can I stay?”

Rey looked at him in shock. “There’s no way I’m letting you out of this bed, Ben Solo,” she said sternly.

“Good,” he said before squeezing her even tighter and closing his eyes. Rey released an arm from his grasp to tuck the hair in his face behind his ears. She gently ran her thumb along the shell of the exposed adorable, massive ear. His eyes flickered under his closed eyelids, a small contented breath released from his chest. She stroked his ear and watched him fall asleep, until her own eyes closed.


	17. Warehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plutt calls on Rey to make good on her end of the deal, and things don't go exactly to plan.

Kylo woke up a bit disoriented. He wasn’t in his bed, and he was a lot warmer than usual. As his eyes adjusted to the light, the memories of the night before came rushing back to him. His eyes opened the rest of the way with a jolt, recognizing instantly the brown hair crowding his line of vision in front of him. He was curled around Rey, who was still naked as the day she was born. He was pressed tightly into the back of her body, arms circling the circumference of her waist as if his life depended on it. It probably did, he had to admit at this point. He felt his own heartbeat against her back and took a deep inhale of her scent. He could spend all day like this, holding her to him. He leaned into the back of her neck, letting her hair cover his face.

As he shifted, he felt his morning wood nestle itself against her ass. It had been making an appearance most mornings the past few weeks after Kylo spent every night dreaming of her, but it seemed particularly eager this morning now that it knew exactly what her body felt like around it. He was now wide awake, too happy for himself to fall back asleep. If he wasn’t wrapped around Rey, he would have given himself a high five. That was definitely the best sex he had ever had. And for once, he wasn’t left with the empty feeling of loneliness that resulted from a hook up leaving his bed as soon as they were done, as if she couldn’t wait to get away from him. If anything, he felt Rey shift even further back into him as his slight movements seemed to gently wake her. 

Kylo closed his eyes for a second, trying to commit the moment to memory. The way Rey felt in his arms, her scent surrounding him, how badly he needed to pee… _Wait._ Damnit. He really didn’t want to get up and disturb their peaceful cuddle, but nature was calling. He slowly and carefully untangled himself from Rey, rewrapping her in the sheets to keep her warm. She gave out a light snuffle as his body detached itself from hers, but her eyes remained closed, as if she too was not ready to leave their warm cocoon.

Now Kylo had the task of peeing with a boner. Always a fun challenge. Normally he waited until it died down a bit. He knew that wouldn’t happen if he stayed in the same room as Rey and her naked body. So he closed himself into her bathroom, choosing to read the back of her shampoo bottle until his body decided he didn’t need so much blood in his cock. After a few minutes, he was soft enough to go. Just as he flushed the toilet and started washing his hands, he could hear a hard knock outside on the door of Rey’s loft. He heard Rey jump out of bed. Who could it be? 

“Coming!” he heard her shout as she made noises that sounded like she was stumbling around, probably searching for clothes to put on. He started drying his hands, but the next voice he heard made him completely freeze.

“GIRL, OPEN THIS DOOR,” he heard Plutt shout. _Fuck_. This wasn’t good. He wasn’t going to let that slimeball hurt her.

He was about to open the door to the bathroom to go defend her, naked and all, but Rey beat him to it, peeking her head into the bathroom and ordering him in her fiercest whisper, “Kylo, stay in here until I get you. Don’t come out!” She shut the door quietly behind her and heard her run over to the main door of the loft. Kylo pressed his ear to the door to try to overhear what was happening.

He heard Plutt mumble something snide-sounding as his heavy footsteps entered the loft. He couldn’t hear their conversation. Rey’s voice was softer and higher-pitched than normal, indicating stress. Kylo wanted to rip the door open at the sound. The Rey he knew was strong, but this evil bastard terrorized her. He heard some other foul grunts and commanding orders come from Plutt. His fists were clenched and shaking. What if he did something to her? He couldn’t just stay in the bathroom and do nothing…

But before he knew it, he heard Plutt’s labored footsteps make their way back out the loft and the door slam behind him. Another few moments later, Rey opened the door of the bathroom. She immediately went inside and wrapped her arms around Kylo and buried her face in his bare chest, letting out a heavy sigh.

“What did he want?” Kylo asked, trying to disguise the rage in his voice.

“It’s time, he gave me the keys to the car he wants me to drive down to Manchester.”

“New Hampshire?”

He felt her nod against him. His mind started working in overdrive.

“That will cross state lines…”

Rey peeked up at him from his chest, eyes flashing in recognition.

“That’s right… Maz said it would be easy to get the feds involved if it crossed state lines…”

“Rey, we don’t have to do this. Above all, you need to be safe. Maz agrees. We could always try to get him another way…” he said. 

“This is the surest way that he won’t have time to tell anyone about Finn before he and his friends get caught,” she said, her eyes set in determination. “I need to do this.”

“ _We_ need to do this.”

Rey’s eyes teared up a bit at that. She shook her head back and forth, Kylo knew she was trying to will them away. She pulled away from him and set her hands on her hips. That’s when he noticed that she was wearing his shirt, which reached mid thigh on her and only barely covered some shorts she had managed to pull on when Plutt knocked. She still managed to look _good_. Good enough to rip his shirt off of her, hoist her up onto the vanity, and take her right there in the bathroom. But now was not the time. He needed to focus.

“I really could use a shower,” she said, bringing him back to the situation at hand, “but we better get going so that Maz and Chewie have time to get in touch with authorities before Plutt calls to check on my status.”

“Agreed. You’ll need to go downstairs and make sure he isn’t there. I was supposed to meet you outside of town so that you were alone in case any of his colleagues saw you driving away. Once the coast is clear, I’ll have to run home and get my car and drive the long way around town and meet you at the gas station at Exit 23. You call Maz and let her know that we’re ready. I’ll talk to Leia when I get home so that she can track down Finn.”

“It’s Monday, he’ll be at work. Maybe she can come up with some sort of excuse to go to the plant. Pretend she has questions about their permits or something.”

“Good idea,” Kylo responded. He suddenly realized he was still naked. He looked down at himself in embarrassment, but when he looked back up at Rey, her eyes were looking at his body ravenously. _That_ was an ego booster.

“You better get dressed if we’re ever going to get this thing on the road,” she said with a satisfied smirk. “If you keep standing there naked, I’m never going to let you leave.”

Kylo was tempted to take her up on her offer, but summoned the willpower to walk around her and start searching for his clothes. After his briefs and pants were on, he made his way back to the bathroom, where Rey was now leaning against the doorframe, watching him. It seemed she had forgotten that she was wearing his shirt. He slowly approached her, her left eyebrow raising in confusion as he stepped right up to her. He wrapped his hands around the bottom of the shirt.

“I’m going to need this,” he said lowly.

Rey looked down, and blushed as she realized what he needed. She put her hands on his and stripped the shirt off, leaving her completely bare from the waist up.

Kylo wanted nothing more than to worship her breasts, but he settled for sighing and giving her a light kiss before throwing his shirt on.

Rey stepped away with what seemed like regret, grabbing a shirt of her own, foregoing a bra. She was going to kill him. 

“Stay up here for a minute,” she said, “I’ll check downstairs and be right back up.”

Kylo sat down on her small couch to lace up his shoes as her feet pounded up and down the stairs of her loft. When she re-entered, she ran to her window, checking that no cars that could potentially be watching were parked nearby.

“Ride my bike back home, you’ll get there faster,” she said, grabbing his elbow to lead him out of the loft. “I’ll call Maz. Call me when you’re home and about to leave, so we can arrive at the gas station at about the same time.”

Kylo turned around before heading out the door. He grabbed his face in her hands and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Stay safe,” he said, before drawing back and bestowing a kiss onto her forehead.

“You too,” she whispered, “I’ll see you in just a few minutes.”

Kylo reluctantly released her face to leave.

“I love you,” he heard from behind him.

He felt himself smile before he turned back around toward Rey.

“I love you more than I ever thought I could love somebody,” he answered, closing the door behind him so that he would get the last word.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo’s fingers were tapping nervously on the armrest on the passenger-side door of the car, and it was driving Rey up a wall.

“Kylo,” she said.

“Mm?”

“Stop it. You’re making me nervous.”

“Oh,” he said, clasping his hands together. She absent-mindedly wondered if he had to sit on his hands when he was younger to stop from fidgeting.

“I just don’t like this,” Kylo said, looking over at her. “I feel like this whole plan puts you in danger. We shouldn’t be driving this car anywhere.”

“I trust Maz,” Rey said, “she knows what she’s doing.”

At least she _hoped_ so. Maz _was_ pretty old. How old was she exactly? She was weird, but Rey had always assumed that was a personality trait, not that she was senile.

“Can’t help it,” Kylo responded, “I just care about you too much.”

“You’re such a cheeseball.”

“A what?”

“You heard me.”

Kylo chuckled at that. Rey smiled knowing that she had made him laugh. They drove on in a nervous quietness. After a while, Kylo’s phone indicated that they were almost at the warehouse for which Plutt had given her the address.

“Pull over. I’ll call Maz and see if she and Chewie are down there with authorities yet.”

Rey nodded her head and pulled over to the side of the highway. She listened to faint tones of Maz explaining something to Kylo over the phone. His brow furrowed as he nodded along, occasionally muttering that he understood. Rey couldn’t help but appreciate how handsome he was in the sunlight. His black hair shined and reflected rich brown tones, and his pale skin seemed to glow.

When he hung up the phone, he stared at it for a moment before turning around to give the unmarked boxes in the back seat a glance and turning back to Rey.

“I don’t like this,” he said, “she wants you to pull up to the warehouse alone and draw the guy out.”

“That should be fine,” Rey said, placing a hand on one of his. “As far as they know, I’m just one of them.”

“I didn’t think this plan would involve you actually going through with any of Plutt’s shit, or else I would never have agreed to it,” Kylo said lowly.

“Kylo, I know you’re worried, but I need to do this. This may be my best chance at breaking free from Plutt.”

Kylo sighed, running his thumb across the knuckles of the hand she had slid into his.

“Ok,” he said with a tone of reluctance. “But I’m going to be nearby. How about you drop me off like a block or two away from the warehouse, and I’ll walk over? I’ll stay out of sight. If anything happens, I’ll be there. Scream really loudly and beat the shit out of them.”

Rey felt a spark of fire ignite within her. It had been a while since she had beaten anyone up, but she knew she could still do it. It gave her an adrenaline rush.

“Will do,” she said confidently, with a smug tone.

That made Kylo look back up at her with a soft smile.

“Look at you, all dark and whatnot. Pretty sexy.”

“You really are turned on by the fact I used to fight a lot, aren’t you?”

“Ever since you first told me.”

“You’re twisted.”

“Yes,” he agreed, with a dangerous glint in his eye.

Rey gave him a coy smile before extracting her hand from his and restarting the car.

“So where are Maz and Chewie?” she asked as she pulled back onto the highway.

“They’re waiting at the next loading dock over. You’re supposed to text her as you pull up.”

“Got it.”

Kylo navigated them toward the warehouse facility. 

“Ok, let me out here,” he said when they were a few blocks away.

Rey pulled over and put the car in park. She reached over, grabbed Kylo’s face, and pulled him in for a kiss. She kissed him so hard that she must of bumped his nose pretty bad upon impact, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“See you soon,” she said when she pulled back.

Kylo took a moment to recover. Rey relished the fact that she could leave him so flustered. 

“Be careful,” he said in return before hopping out of the car. “Don’t forget to text Maz. Just do it now since you are so close.”

She typed out a text to Maz and drove away before she could look at Kylo again. Now was not a time for distractions.

As she pulled up to the warehouse marked with a number 3, her hands began to tremble. She wasn’t nervous before, but it was all crashing down just how real everything was. Just this morning she had awoken blissfully happy in Kylo’s arms, still high from mind-blowing sex, and now she was sweating in the driver’s seat of Plutt’s car, playing a part in a dangerous trap. She reminded herself that it wasn’t _actually_ dangerous. All she had to do was pull up, let the guy she was supposed to meet know that she had some boxes in the car for him, and let the cops deal with the rest. Maz had assured her that everything would be fine. But she couldn’t help but have a bad feeling about all of it.

She parked a good distance away from the door of the warehouse, which would make Plutt’s man have to walk a significant distance away into open space, allowing Maz and the authorities to clearly see what was going on. She saw a response to her text to Maz, letting her know that everyone was in position. She took a deep breath and tried to let out all of her nerves with her exhale. As a child, she had been fearless. Bruises and scars never bothered her. But now, she knew that these people would do far more than just beat her up if she crossed them. They would threaten her with the people she loved, like Finn. And that hurt more than any punch or kick.

She stepped out of the car and slammed it shut, determined to appear tough. She walked over to the door of the warehouse and knocked loudly. A few moments later, a thin looking middle-aged man with a scraggly beard and a cigarette between his teeth cracked the door open.

“What do you want?”

“I’m Rey,” she answered, “are you Zhaff?”

“Yup, you Plutt’s girl?

“Yes,” she said, having to swallow a bit of vomit that made it’s way up her system at admitting it.

“What do you got?”

“I have some boxes for you. They’re in the car,” she responded, pointing back at the old beige sedan.

Zhaff looked over her shoulder at the car and then back at her.

“Give me a moment,” he grunted before slamming the door in her face.

Rey was stunned for a moment before beginning to panic. This wasn’t part of the plan, she had figured he would just come out and help her carry the boxes. Could he sense that something was wrong? Was he leaving out of some sort of back door?

Rey looked around, looking for any sign of trouble. She considered pulling her phone out to call Maz or Kylo, but didn’t want to risk looking like she was contacting anyone if he came back out suddenly.

After a minute that seemed to last about an hour, the door reopened and the thin man came out of the warehouse.

“Let’s take a look,” he said roughly. “Lead the way.”

Rey nodded with what she hoped was an indifferent expression before turning around to walk back toward the car. Her instincts told her to never turn her back on an enemy, but she didn’t have much of a choice in this situation. She was supposed to be one of them. She listened to his footsteps behind her to gauge his distance from her.

As she neared the car, she saw something dark in her peripheral vision come barreling toward them on the right. She turned her head to see Kylo walking toward them with a livid expression on his face. _Fuck_. What was he _doing_? Rey whipped around and saw that Zhaff had noticed him too. Zhaff quickly looked between her and Kylo.

“Who is that?” he asked Rey, the cigarette falling out of his mouth, anger dripping from his voice.

Rey was frozen. She had no idea what to do or say. Kylo was still coming toward them, staring at Zhaff with what must have been every ounce of hatred in his body.

“I said,” Zhaff repeated with a growl, “who is that?”

“I don’t know,” Rey responded. She instantly cringed, knowing that her voice had completely given her away.

Kylo was now about 100 feet away, at which point Zhaff reached behind him to pull a pistol out of the back of his waistband and pointed it at Kylo.

“What do you want?” the man shouted.

Rey’s eyes widened in fear as she saw Kylo not stop, but keep approaching them. He didn’t say anything.

Suddenly, a shot went off, and Rey screamed.


	18. Gunshot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the gunshot.

Rey had honestly not expected the thin man to fire his gun. Weren’t criminals supposed to be smarter than that? You don’t unload any bullets unless you have to.

She didn’t even have time to look at Kylo to see if he had been hit before her fight-or-flight response engaged. She grabbed Zhaff’s arm- one hand gripping the top of his forearm and the other gripping his hand holding the gun. She brought his wrist down _hard_ against her knee, satisfied with the crunching sound it made as he wailed and released the gun. Rey immediately kicked it away before turning the man toward her, gripping his shoulders, and bringing a knee up as hard as she could into his groin. She then socked him in the face for good measure. The man went down like a sack of potatoes. All of this occurred within a span of about two seconds.

Only then did Rey pause to take in what was going on around her. At the sound of the gun firing, the cops had come rushing in with their weapons raised. Rey immediately put her hands up and stepped away from the man. Her gaze whipped to her left to search for Kylo. He was still standing, thank God, and looking at her with his jaw dropped as the cops came swarming in around them. He was holding his left upper arm tightly with his right hand. Had he been hit? A police officer stepped in front of him and started talking to him as several other officers took care of the thin man snivelling on the ground. Another cop approached her and backed her far away from the stranger she had disarmed that was now being handcuffed and led to a police car that had pulled up next to them. 

She was in shock as she tried to listen to the officer speaking to her. Where was Kylo? Was he ok? Her eyes were searching for him between the now countless officers and vehicles that crowded the small lot.

“Ma'am?” the officer repeated.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“They keys… I need the keys to the car.”

“Oh, of course…” she said as she digged the keys out of her pocket. She saw a K9 unit and its handler inspecting the beige car she had driven down with Kylo.

“Out of my way!” she heard cutting through all of the hubbub. “Out of my way, Lieutenant!”

It was Maz, moving faster than Rey had ever seen her do, with Chewie trying desperately to keep up. Officers jumped out of her way as she walked briskly into the lot. She had a grim frown on her face.

“What the hell happened?” she yelled at seemingly everyone as she approached.

“Where’s Kylo?” Rey mumbled, still in shock. She still couldn’t see him.

“Why did no one move in before the weapon was fired? What the fuck is wrong with you all?” Maz shouted at the crowd of officers. Rey had never heard her curse like this. She was _mad_.

“Has anyone seen Kylo?” Rey repeated, but at no louder than a whisper. No one was listening to her.

Maz finally spotted Rey and changed direction, nearly running toward her. 

“Rey!” Chewie shouted as he followed Maz, “are you ok?”

Rey just stared dumbly at them. 

“Where’s Kylo?” she asked.

“He’s over there, the idiot…” Maz pointed toward a car where a mop of black hair was visible on the other side. He was standing there, still talking to an officer.

Rey’s breath suddenly all released at once, and tears came with it. She stood there holding herself. There were words and conversations floating around her, but her brain wasn’t processing any of it.

Maz put her hand on Rey’s arm, recapturing her attention.

“He’s fine. Everyone is fine,” she said.

Chewie put his arm around her, and she couldn’t help but let him hold some of her weight as her brain tried to catch up with her other senses.

“Why did he do that?” Rey asked, “Why did he interfere?”

“I’m sure they are asking him the same question,” Maz answered, glaring back at him across the crowd. “Idiot,” she mumbled again under her breath. “Honestly, putting you in danger like that? What was he thinking? Never mind, you’re both safe. We will all need to meet at the precinct to give our statements. Are you ok? Do you need any medical attention?”

“No… I’m fine,” Rey answered quickly.

Maz gave her a hard, appraising look before nodding her head in agreement and whisking herself away to talk to more officers. Chewie gave her an affectionate squeeze. She turned more toward him and wrapped his arms around him to give him a hug. She really needed a hug, and a hug from a father figure was immensely comforting. Chewie patted her on the back as she let out a heavy breath. 

“It’s alright, you’re ok,” he reassured her. “After checking in with the state police and the feds today, Maz was able to gather that they actually have already have a case building against Plutt from some other charges against him over the years and some more information on him from various sources. So they’ve definitely got him. The car will seal the deal.”

“Thank you, Chewie,” she said quietly. “You and Maz have been so kind to me. I can’t imagine what I would do without you.”

“We feel the same way about you, Rey. You’ve brought light to our house these past six years. And you’ve brought light to Ben. We’ve discussed it, and you’re moving in with us after this. No objections.”

Rey couldn’t even find the energy to argue with him. She had always insisted on being independent, but maybe it was time she let someone help her. Instead, she just squeezed him a bit tighter, giving him a wordless response.

“Come on, young one. I’ll drive you to the precinct,” Chewie said, leading her toward his car.

“Wait, I need to talk to Kylo…”

“I know dear,” Maz said, overhearing as she reapproached them, “but they’re going to continue checking him for any signs of injury and they’ll take him to the precinct themselves. Don’t worry, by the colorful language he was using just now, it sounds like he is just fine. Chewie and I brought both of our cars. I’ll stay here and make sure he doesn’t get into any more trouble.”

Rey wanted to argue, she _needed_ to hold him tightly in her arms to reassure herself that he was fine. But she was _exhausted_. She could barely hold herself up from the shock. She merely nodded and let Chewie lead her the rest of the way to the car. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo sprinted into the farmhouse as soon as Maz put the car in park. He _needed_ to see Rey. They had been separated as soon as the shot went off, and he hadn’t been able to see her since. Before he could process what had happened, they had both been surrounded by police officers and careened into different parts of the lot. He tried to cut off the cops who were questioning him, but they wouldn’t have it. They practically pinned him against a police car so that they could assess him for injuries and question him about what had happened. 

He was fine, the bullet had just barely grazed his arm. His leather jacket was torn and he had a pretty nasty graze wound, but he had gone through much worse before without treatment. The officers were not having it, though. They forced him to go to the hospital, even though all they did was clean and bandage his arm. Then they drove him to the precinct to collect his statement. He had hoped to find Rey still at the precinct when he arrived, but she had already finished and been driven home by Chewie. He had to wait until Maz was finished with everything so that she could drive him back home.

He slammed the door of Maz and Chewie’s house open, wild eyes searching for Rey. Instead, Leia was waiting for him in the foyer. She immediately wrapped her arms around him.

“Are you ok? Are you hurt? Maz said you’re fine… are you ok?” she asked worriedly, eyes scanning his body for any obvious injuries.

“I’m fine, Mom, I’m fine,” he answered, grasping her shoulders and looking into her eyes to convince her.

Leia let out a sigh before releasing a few tearful laughs of relief. Then, her face hardened into a grimace. She took a step back and hit him in the chest.

“What were you _thinking_? Honestly, Ben Solo, did I teach you nothing? Son of a military officer and a good-for-nothing gambler and you just charge into a crime scene like _that_? You could have gotten hurt! You could have gotten _Rey_ hurt. I swear, Ben, your father is rolling in his grave right now. If you’re going to do something like that, you shoot first…”

“I’m sorry, mom,” Kylo interjected, “really, really sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Clearly. You’re right.”

Kylo wanted to apologize more for worrying her, but he needed Rey.

“Where’s Rey?”

Leia’s face softened, and she let out another sigh.

“She’s in the study with Chewie. They’ve been in there for hours. Building some sort of robot or something.”

Kylo pulled Leia in for another tight hug.

“I’m sorry. We’ll talk later. I need to see her.”

“I understand,” Leia responded. “God help us all…” he heard her mumble as he walked around her and down the hall.

He yanked the door of the study open to find Rey kneeling on the floor next to Chewie’s armchair. She was holding a small device of some sort, pointing at a particular gear and speaking lowly to Chewie. When he entered, both of them turned toward him. Rey’s eyes widened, and she froze. Before he could speak, she dropped the device on the floor and bolted toward him. She practically jumped onto him, pulling herself up with her arms around his shoulders and wrapping her legs around his waist. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her hair. Her scent, the feeling of her around him, and the sound of her breath were everything he needed. 

They stayed like that for what could have been a few seconds or what could have been a few hours. After a while, a cough from Chewie brought them out of their reverie. Rey unwrapped herself from around him and kicked her legs a bit, trying to signal to him to put her down. He reluctantly lowered her so that she could touch the ground, but refused to let her go entirely. Rey raised her hands to his chest and pushed back lightly, at which point he regretfully retracted his arms from around her. 

Rey turned to Chewie.

“I’ll tell you more later. I need to speak with Kylo,” she said.

“Of course, young one,” Chewie responded, picking up the device from the ground where Rey had dropped it. 

Rey turned back to Kylo and grabbed his hand. 

“Come with me,” she ordered.

Kylo wordlessly let her drag him to the guest room on the other side of the house. He assumed that’s where she would be living now.

Rey remained silent as she led him into the room and shut the door. Then, she turned around to face him with her arms crossed in front of her chest and one hip cocked to the side.

“You absolute dolt,” she said with a frown.

“What?”

“Are you kidding me, Kylo? Why did you come running at us like that? You never run toward a criminal!”

“Ok, let me explain…”

“I’m waiting!” she yelled impatiently.

“I was watching from a distance, but then when he came back out of the warehouse I saw he had a gun tucked into the back of his belt! I wasn’t about to let him use it on you!”

“Of course he had a gun! That’s what criminals _do_ , Kylo! They have guns! That doesn’t mean he was going to _use_ it! Honestly, for acting so tough, you have _no_ street sense!” Rey yelled, raising both hands up to shove his chest.

“What was I supposed to do?” he yelled in return. “Nothing?!?”

“Yes!” she said in an exasperated tone. “You were supposed to let the authorities handle it! You know, like how they’re _trained_ to do!”

“Rey! I couldn’t just stand there while he was that close to you with a weapon!”

“I am so mad at you right now!” she yelled, raising her hands up to give him another push at his chest. He let her do it, pushing him right back into a seated position on her bed.

“You could have gotten shot!” she continued to yell as she began to straddle him, “you’re lucky he had terrible aim!”

Kylo’s hands automatically settled around her hips as she settled down into him.

“How can someone so smart be so _dense_?” she said before smashing her mouth against his. She took complete control, diving her tongue into his mouth before biting down hard on his lower lip. 

“I’m sorry,” he said when she briefly broke their kiss for air.

“Shut up,” she said, reaching down to the hem of his shirt to peel it off of him. She grabbed his face again as soon as it was off and started kissing him again. A few moments later, she pushed his chest again, this time to lower his back to the bed.

His breath hitched when she stepped off of his lap to rip all of her clothes off. He could only watch as her body was bared before him again, every beautiful curve, scar, and freckle. He barely had a second to appreciate it before she was ripping his pants down, then his boxer briefs. He had to raise his hips off of the bed to help her.

“I’m never involving you in anything remotely stealthy ever again, you senseless wanker,” she said fiercely as she threw his pants on the floor.

“Rey, I-”

“No,” she interrupted. “No talking. You scared me. Don’t ever do that to me again,” she said as she climbed back into the bed to straddle him. She sat low on his torso, so that his now hard cock was nestled between her asscheeks. She was looking at him with a glare and digging her fingernails into his chest.

“I won’t,” he promised, unable to keep aroused strain out of his voice.

“Good,” she said with a smug half-smile, smoothing her palms over his chest where her nails had just left half-moon marks. “Now how are you going to make it up to me?”

“I can think of a few ways…” he said lowly, letting his hands caress up and down her thighs. Rey was beautiful in every way- when she was under the hood of a car, when she was besting him on the soccer field, when she spooned against him in bed. But she had never been more beautiful to him than at that moment, when she was gloriously bare and straddling him from above. She was powerful, she was glowing, and he was _hers_.

Kylo took control, wrapping an arm around her and flipping her over quickly so that he laid on top of her on the bed. He gave her what he was sure was a cocky smile before lowering himself so that his face came down to her pussy. She was staring back at him, eyes full of fire. She spread her legs open further to allow him access. A month ago, he had only dreamed that she would let him do this. He resisted the urge to pinch himself.

He immediately buried his nose inside of her, drawing a sharp gasp from her. He inhaled through his nose deeply, aching to be engulfed by her scent. After a moment, he drew back out and gently kissed her inner thigh, making sure to use a light scrape of teeth to let her know that he wanted her all for himself. He cherished the small sounds she was making, quiet whimpers and heavy breaths as he teased her, kissing her inner thighs and nudging her core with his nose.

“Ben…” she whispered in a desperate tone.

Kylo froze. He didn’t mind when she called him that, in fact he found that he liked it. But she hadn’t said it in bed last night, and the shock of his real name being said in a lusty tone made all of the blood in his body immediately rush to his cock. No woman had ever known his true name, so it had never been said like that before. The feeling it gave him was _incredible_. 

After a moment of awe, he bit her inner thigh a bit harder.

“Say that again,” he growled, looking back up into her eyes.

Rey blinked before a look of realization appeared on her features, and she repeated his name.

“Ben,” she said more confidently, reaching down to grab a handful of his hair into her fist. He groaned at the pull.

He couldn’t wait anymore. He dove his tongue into her folds, too impatient to let it build up. He pumped his tongue in and out, searching for spots that made her breath hitch. When he found one, he focused on it and allowed a hand to release her thigh and direct his fingers toward her clit. She was going to come more than once tonight.

Within minutes, he felt Rey’s walls start to flutter and clench harder. He felt a proud sense of accomplishment, being the first one to make her come like this. He’d do it every day if she’d let him. He chased her release, and groaned when she finally came, coating his face and chin. He stimulated her through it, and didn’t let up until she pushed him away.

“Oh my god…” he heard her say, her first understandable words besides his name in minutes.

He let out a joyful chuckle before planting another kiss on her thigh. Her orgasm had given him an emotional high. 

Rey pulled him up by his hair to kiss him. He let her lazily lick at him, clearly tasting herself on his lips and face. The thought of that made his hard cock twitch. She must have felt it against her, for Rey then opened her eyes and shot him a brazen look. She flipped them around again so that she was sitting on top of him and took his hands in hers and pinned them above his head. She leaned down, and Kylo was sure he might come just from the look in her eyes alone as she kissed him again. She exuded sex.

Without another word, Rey released his hands, warning him with her eyes to leave them above his head. Rey leaned back to brace herself, pushed herself up with her legs, and sank onto his member. Kylo saw stars as he felt her tight, velvety heat embrace him. It felt like his dick _belonged_ in her. Like they were made for eachother. He barely kept it together as she worked herself open, gently adjusting her position and raising herself up before settling back down. 

Kylo’s hands flew to her waist, desperate to start lifting her quickly up and down onto him.

“So impatient,” Rey chided, gripping his hands hard to keep him from doing so.

“Yes,” he said as a mimicry of her the night before, “always.”

She laughed at that, and lifted herself high before letting herself slam back down onto him. They both groaned in unison, cherishing the new sensation. After that, their slow pace dissolved into rapid pummeling with an occasional rolling of Rey’s hips to hit new spots within her. There were too many places within Rey that felt good against him, he’d have to map all of them someday. But they were both too desperate to take their time now. 

Kylo tried to hold himself off as long as he could, but it was hard when she was on full display above him, bouncing and riding him like she was born to do it. 

“Rey,” he moaned, “you need to cum for me.” He gave an extra hard thrust, knowing his orgasm was approaching quickly.

“Fuck,” she whimpered in response. Apparently, his demand had been enough to set her off. For not a moment later, her walls clenched impossibly tightly around him and her eyes rolled back into her head. His mind went blank and his cock immediately responded, sending hot spurts of his seed into her. He emptied everything into her, body _and_ soul. There was nothing he wouldn’t give her.

They both shuddered through their orgasms, grasping each other tightly. It seemed to take ages for both of them to come down from the high. Eventually, Rey rolled off of him, hissing when he pulled out. She collapsed beside him, and Kylo reflexively reached out to her. She let him gather her to his chest before speaking.

“I’m still mad at you,” she said quietly.

“I know,” he responded. “Maybe you should get mad at me more often.”

Rey let out a snort at that, then nuzzled against him even closer.


	19. Sunday Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo find their forever.

Rey awoke to a loud rumbling that sounded like thunder. She opened one eye to peek at the alarm clock that sat on the nightstand next to the bed in the guest bedroom at Maz and Chewie’s house where she was now lying with Kylo wrapped around her. 11:53pm. So they had only been asleep for a few hours. Rey closed her eyes again, perfectly ready to fall back asleep.

The rumbling returned. It took Rey a second to identify that the noise was coming from behind her. It had a familiar sound.

“Kylo?”

“Mmph,” he mumbled against her hair.

“Is that your stomach? Are you hungry?”

“Mm,” he answered as he squeezed her tighter, apparently willing to go hungry as long as he could stay in bed with her.

“Kylo, have you eaten anything since earlier?”

Rey and Chewie had eaten a large meal when they returned from the precinct in New Hampshire. Kylo hadn’t returned until hours later, and had come right from the car to her.

“No,” he answered in a sleepy tone.

“Do you want me to make you something?” Rey had an odd relationship with food. She couldn’t stand to see others hungry after she had experienced it herself for all of those years.

“You’re not a very good cook,” Kylo mumbled against her neck after planting a leisurely kiss on it.

“Shut up,” she said, reaching behind her to smack his arm.

“Sorry,” he said quietly with a light chuckle, “I just meant that I could make us something. You hungry too?”

“I can always eat,” Rey answered honestly. She pried Kylo’s heavy arms from around her and made to get up from the bed. As she stood, she couldn’t help but notice a sticky sensation between her legs.

_Fuck_.

“Kylo?”

“Mm?” he answered sleepily, with his head now in the pillow where hers had previously been. 

“Kylo, wake up,” she whispered more forcefully.

“What?” he grumbled.

“We didn’t use a condom.”

_That_ got his attention. She saw his eyes widen before he sat up quickly and found her eyes.

“ _Shit_.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry, Rey,” he said as he climbed out of bed.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s both our faults,” Rey answered as she buried her face in her hands. How could she be so careless? What kind of idiot didn’t practice safe sex nowadays?

“I should have been thinking…” Kylo protested, gently lifting her hands away from her face and grasping them in his own.

“Kylo, really. It’s ok. It’s not your fault. I’m the one that shoved you onto the bed. We were both pretty distracted, I guess,” she said, trying to assure him with a light smile.

“That’s true. But I still feel terrible. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry enough to drive me to get Plan B?”

“Yeah, whatever you want,” he said, gently guiding her to sit back down on the bed. He retrieved her clothes from the floor and began to dress her. Rey would have thought that someone dressing her would be weird, but with Kylo it was sweet. And also _very_ distracting as his dick swung around in front of her at eye level as he was still standing. She needed to focus. Wanting his dick was what got them into this mess in the first place. 

After he dressed her and himself, they quietly snuck out of the guest bedroom. Rey hadn’t even been thinking if Maz, Chewie, and Leia would notice what they had been up to. She suddenly was petrified with embarrassment. True, the guest room was separated by a long hallway from the rest of the house, but knowing them, they probably knew exactly what they were up to. It didn’t help that they had fallen asleep and thus been in there for hours.

As they tiptoed to the front of the house, Rey was relieved to find that all of the lights were off- Maz and Chewie had gone to bed. Leia’s car was also gone from the driveway, hopefully she had gone home before noticing, or worse, _hearing_ anything suspicious.

Unfortunately, Rey and Kylo both realized simultaneously that they didn’t have Kylo’s car. His car was still at the gas station he met Rey at earlier in the day before the whole warehouse fiasco. He had forgotten about it completely since Maz had driven him home. Rey watched as he snuck back into the kitchen and opened the drawer with all of the keys. She heard a bit of jingling as Kylo found the key ring he was looking for.

Rey raised an eyebrow at him as he walked back toward her.

“We’ll just borrow Chewie’s truck.”

“Are you sure he’d be ok with that?”

Kylo scoffed. “He’s used to it. I used to steal his keys and go on joyrides all of the time.”

Rey giggled as she imagined a teenage Kylo sneaking around, stealing his family’s various vehicles. That sounded like something he would do.

They closed the door quietly behind them and made their way to Chewie’s truck. Once inside, Rey let out a sigh of relief. She really was not looking forward to having to look Maz and Chewie in the eye after they likely knew that she had sex with their godson in their own house.

Kylo grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss.

“The drug store and gas station in town aren’t open this late. We’ll have to go south. Is that ok?” he asked.

“Yeah. I don’t think I could even bring myself to buy Plan B here, everyone knows me.”

“That’s true,” Kylo responded with a laugh. “And there are no secrets in this town.”

Kylo started up the engine and drove them down the long farm driveway. After he turned onto the road, he took a hold of Rey’s hand again and rested it on his knee. It was a simple gesture, but it made Rey’s heart sing all the same. They enjoyed the quiet drive until Kylo’s stomach grumbled loudly again. She laughed at him, she had completely forgotten the whole reason she had gotten up in the first place.

“Kylo, you should have grabbed something to eat first!”

“Don’t worry about me, let’s take care of you first. How about we pick up Plan B then find a 24-hour diner?”

“Works for me,” she responded. Now that he mentioned it, she could go for a burger. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo pulled up to the drug store and reluctantly let go of Rey’s hand to park. 

“You can stay here,” he said. “I can go get it. Anything else you need from in there?”

Rey looked surprised he would offer, but accepted. “Thank you. Just grab a bottle of water too so I can take it right away.”

Kylo nodded and went to hop out of the truck.

“Kylo!” he heard as he was closing the door.

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling the door back open.

“Condoms! Buy condoms!” she ordered.

Kylo thought she was joking at first, but her face was dead serious.

“Yes, ma’am,” he responded with a smile. Who was he to deny the lady?

The elderly cashier with blue-white hair gave him a judgmental look as he dumped Plan B, a bottle of water, two value packs of condoms, and a bag of Skittles on the counter. But Kylo didn’t care. He was having sex with the woman he loved, and she was awesome. Everyone else could bite him. He _did_ feel really bad for forgetting a condom, though, especially since he was the more experienced of them. Their emotions had been running high, but it was really unlike him to not be careful.

He handed the bag to Rey when he hopped back into the truck.

“Oh, Skittles,” she said cheerfully. “My favorite.”

“I know,” he said, “you told me.”

Rey gave him a large smile before cracking the first pill out of the Plan B package and tossing it back with some water.

“Right. I think we’ve learned our lesson,” she said with a smirk.

“Definitely,” he agreed. “Again, I’m really sorry. I should have been more careful…”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry too. I’m going to go on birth control, but we should still use condoms for a while to be careful.”

Kylo gulped thickly, remembering what it felt like with his bare cock inside of her. To say he was excited to return to that would be an understatement. He felt his penis twitch just at the memory of it. But he would be as patient as he needed to be for that.

“As much fun as this has been, I am still quite hungry,” he said, teasing her.

“Diner?” she asked.

“Let’s do it.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_ONE MONTH LATER_**

“You two are disgusting,” Finn said, pretending to throw up his mouthful of salad. 

Rey and Kylo were out on a double date with Finn and Poe downstate. Poe was a huge sports fan, and he had insisted that they all go out to watch the game together. Rey had thought she was sneaking a kiss from Kylo while Finn and Poe’s eyes were on the TV, but apparently she wasn’t as stealthy as she thought.

“You’re one to talk! Poe, you have no idea how much lovey-dovey crap I’ve had to listen to about you for months…”

“Rey!” Finn shouted, embarrassed. Poe, on the other hand, thought it was hilarious.

“Oh yeah? What was some of this lovey-dovey crap, I might ask?” he said, slinging an arm over his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“When he first met you he called you a sexier, hispanic David Krumholtz and proceeded to quote Goldstein from Harold and Kumar with a Spanish accent..”

Poe burst into laughter, “I don’t even have an accent!” he exclaimed, turning to Finn.

“True,” Finn admitted, “well except for when we’re-”

“Ok!” Poe cut him off, “next round’s on me!”

Rey smiled as she watched Finn turn toward Poe, eyes full of adoration as he watched him laugh. How did she and Finn get so lucky? A few months ago, they were two lonely souls stuck in their small town who only had each other. Now, Finn was planning on moving to Philadelphia with Poe now that Poe’s interim position at their plant was close to being over. Finn had been reluctant to leave Rey, but she had promised him that she would visit them often. Thankfully, Plutt had snitched on his connections at Finn’s former company who had been trying to break his cover when negotiating his sentencing, so Finn was still safe. Witness Protection had already approved his petition to move, and he could not be more excited to start a life with Poe.

And then there was her. After moving out of the loft above Plutt’s shop, she moved in with Maz and Chewie. Every day she got to help take care of the animals and build all sorts of robots and toys with Chewie. Leia had even gotten her a temporary job- the receptionist at the town hall went into labor early and needed a replacement for a few months of maternity leave. She missed working as a mechanic, but she still got her kicks working on Han’s old cars. She and Kylo were nearly done restoring the ones that Leia wanted to keep. And Rey had even convinced Kylo to keep the Dodge Camaro on top of which she had first kissed him. She used her spare time to apply to universities. 

She looked back at Kylo, who was looking at her with a goofy, content expression on his face. Rey reached for his thigh under the table and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_TWO MONTHS AFTER THAT_ **

“Sex one more time? To say goodbye to your mattress?”

Kylo laughed at Rey, who was waiting naked on his bed in his Chicago apartment. They had spent the last two days alternating between packing up the last of his belongings and doing it on every surface of the apartment.

“If you insist, babe,” he answered, letting out a fake dramatic sigh. She giggled as she reached for him, pulling him on top of her. He couldn’t wait to finally live with her. She had gotten a full scholarship to study mechanical engineering at Northeastern University in Boston, and would be starting the next semester. He had immediately quit his job and started soliciting firms in Boston, and managed to land a job at a corporate law firm. She had been angry with him at first when he told her that he would go to Boston with her- she told him that he didn’t need to do that for her. He assured her that he _did_ in fact need to be with her, and that he had been considering Boston anyway. She was relieved, and admitted that she didn’t want to go unless he would be moving with her. Truth be told, he would have gone anywhere she went and flown home every weekend to visit his family if that’s what it came too. Thankfully, Boston was only a three-and-a-half hour drive from their small town, so weekend trips were easy for them to make.

Now, they were clearing out his apartment in Chicago. He had promised months ago to take her there before he permanently moved away. He would take her anywhere, honestly. They had already done several road trips up and down the east coast over the past few months. Rey was insatiable when it came to travel, and Kylo found he was enjoying it as much as she was. It didn’t hurt that Rey was the perfect road trip companion- she heavily researched every spot they would visit beforehand, packed plenty of snacks, and kept both of them entertained by loudly singing old English drinking songs. Their first stop in Chicago was a deep dish pizza parlor. Rey had been practically shaking with excitement. He appreciated that she was not hard to please. They finally got the pizza date he had promised her all of those months ago, before they were even together. In hindsight, Kylo had even known then that he wanted to be with her.

Rey didn’t have to ask Kylo twice to ‘say goodbye’ to his mattress. He immediately got to work, pushing her further up the bed so he could nestle his face into her folds, teasing her with light strokes of his tongue before eating her out. He managed to control himself long enough to make her come before ripping off his own pants. Too overcome to be on top, Rey settled with hooking her toned legs around his hips as he drove into her. With alternating shouts of ‘Ben’ and ‘Kylo’, she drove him to his second orgasm of the day. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_TWO YEARS LATER_**

Rey stretched out her arms and cracked her neck as she stepped out of the car in front of Maz and Chewie’s farm. She and Kylo had made the drive up from Boston for Sunday dinner, and were going to stay the night before driving back home on Monday morning in time for Rey’s class. Leia’s car was already parked in front of the house.

Leia’s new ‘manfriend’, as she called him, joined them all for dinner. He was from two towns north, and he had bought Plutt’s shop after he was arrested and employed his two adult sons to run it. Only a year after Han’s death, Leia hadn’t been ready to think about being with anyone else when he had first met her and asked her out. But after asking her out once a month for several months, Leia finally agreed. Both Rey and Kylo were glad she had found some companionship, and they both liked Garm. He seemed content not to rush Leia- happy to enjoy her friendship for now. He himself had lost his wife a few years earlier, and understood that she was still recovering. He was gentle and kind, which meant that Leia had to shield him from Maz and Chewie’s quick tongues. Thankfully, they liked him too, and he got used to their senses of humor quickly.

After eating, they all sat around the large dining room table- Rey and Kylo sharing stories from Boston, Leia recounting all of the small town drama she was privy to by working at the town hall, and Chewie predicting which of their crops would do best that year. Rey held Kylo’s hand under the table. She couldn’t even fully remember what life was like before finding her new family. Being with them was like breathing- second nature. She felt Kylo give her hand a gently squeeze before releasing it and pushing his chair back to stand up.

“Actually, everyone,” he said, capturing everyone’s attention. “Since we are all here together, I want to use this opportunity to do something I’ve wanted to do for months... actually more like the two and a half years that I’ve known her.”

Kylo turned toward Rey and bent down on one knee beside her. Rey’s mind short-circuited, and she forgot to breathe.

“Rey, I have loved you since the moment I met you, when you bound down the stairs in the garage and into my life. When I first came back home, I thought I was going to spend my time buried in anger, and end up hurting myself and everyone around me,” he said as his voice cracked. Rey felt tears begin to swell in the corners of her eyes, and she grabbed Kylo’s hands as he continued.

“But instead, you and your light burst through my darkness. It was because of you that I knew I had to change. You made me admit to myself that I needed help, and you held my hand through it all. You were my friend when I didn’t deserve one, and I strive to be half as kind and generous as you are every day. I wish Dad was here to see me become the man I should have always been. He would have loved having you as part of the family. I wasn’t able to see the love all around me until you were able to uncover my eyes and show me. I didn’t know that I was capable of loving someone as much as I love you, and I never thought I was worthy of love until you held me. There’s nothing I can say that can fully express what you mean to me, but I hope that you will let me show you. Nothing would honor me more than being by your side every day from now until forever. I want to serve your destiny, I want to build a family with you…”

Tears were now streaming down Rey’s face.

“...and I want to spend every day giving you all the love you deserve. Will you marry me?” he asked, pulling a small black box out of his pocket.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, throwing herself at Kylo and hugging him as tightly as she possibly could.

“I haven’t even shown you the ring yet!” he choked in disbelief as their family chuckled around them. 

Rey released him to sit back into her chair. 

“Ok! Hurry, hurry!” she said, with tears and now probably snot still streaming down her face, waving her hand towards him.

Kylo laughed as he recomposed himself and opened the box toward her. It contained a elegant golden ring with a sparkling sapphire surrounded by small diamonds. Rey had never seen any piece of jewelry more beautiful.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“It was my mother’s,” Leia said, pulling Rey’s attention away from the ring briefly. “I gave it to Kylo a few months after he met you under the condition that he only use it to propose to you.”

Rey turned back to Kylo.

“You knew then?” she asked.

“That I wanted to marry you? Yeah,” Kylo said. “I didn’t want to rush you, you still didn’t know exactly what you wanted to do or where you were going,” he added, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto her finger.

Rey held her hand in front of her for a moment, appreciating the ring. She didn’t normally wear jewelry, but something told her she would _love_ wearing this ring.

She grabbed Kylo’s face and leaned forward to give him a kiss. She wanted to devour him, but she knew Maz and Chewie would tease her if she did. She settled for a chaste kiss before bringing her mouth to his ear facing away from the rest of their family.

“I knew I wanted to marry you then too,” she admitted to him.

Kylo looked shocked for a moment when he pulled back, but then smiled before pulling her back in to kiss her more thoroughly.

“All right, all right,” Maz interjected with a gleeful tone that she wasn’t able to conceal. “Just don’t bring the entire house down tonight, you two.”

Rey blushed, but Kylo just laughed. She took a moment to comb her fingers through his hair and admire his face, every bit as handsome as the day she first saw him, if not more so. She too had felt something that first day, although she had denied it furiously to Finn. It was funny to think about it now. She was looking forward to spending forever with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That's it, folks! Thank you so much for all of the love and support on this. 
> 
> This is the first piece of fictional anything I've ever written, and I had a blast. It was challenging, but such an awesome creative release for me. I was blown away when it hit 50 kudos, and I can't believe that it's past 200 now. I didn't even think that many people would _see_ it, let alone support it. I hope this fic has given you an escape from your every day. I know that all the fics other people write on here provide me with just that.
> 
> This one is over, but I still have another, less serious, more fun Reylo fic on here entitled "Snow and Slopes". Check it out if you are interested! I'm hoping to finish it before Episode 8, when we will all very likely have some new inspirations for fics!! 
> 
> Thanks again, much love to you all.


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